Hi Tom,
Welcome to the site and have to say, you do have a beautiful family. I know how hard the initial diagnosis is, having gone through it only last year. Having a supportive family will make things a lot easier for you. This is not a time to panic, as there are lots that can be done now, even for the furthest along. I am a New York Sloan Kettering patient. I wouldn't say they are aggressive, but would definitely say they are cutting edge. They totally know anything and everything that is new and I've been extremely happy with my treatment. If I can be of any help at all, either with questions or doctors, please pm me.
Wishing you and your family the best.
Joan