Nick C

That's great! I hope people see that shiry and see how far reaching this disease is.

A large blessing found in such a simple exchange. I think that's great!

The awareness is so important!!!

I always did believe this. These days I want to believe it so bad it's hard to. If that makes any sense.

A wonderful blessing!

I thought I'd feel her right away...and then I said, I'll give her three days (if it was good enough for Jesus, it would be good enough for mom). Well, I try to feel her...I don't to be honest. I thought it would be different. Then again I watched star wars growing up about 600 times, so I thought she'd be blue and translucent and tell me to go to Dagobah to train with Yoda. I'm making a joke, but the fact is, I did think it would be different. More obvious. I've had a few dreams...the details I will someday write. But not yet. But I believe they were more than dreams. A few other things too. But again they are not obvious like Obi Wan talking to Luke.

Hopefully they print it... My mother-in-law passed away recently at age 56, one month after discovering she had lung cancer that had spread to the brain, bone and liver. How can it be cancer, not again? Following her successful battle against breast cancer, Randy had adhered to her doctor’s protocol and had received annual chest x-rays and tumor marker blood tests. We were all under the false impression that she was cancer free. Unfortunately, chest x-rays fail to reveal 85% of the early-stage cancers detected by the CT scans, according to the International Early Lung Cancer Action Program (“I-ELCAP”). She had been getting the wrong tests for 10 years! According to the I-ELCAP, early-stage lung cancer does not have any symptoms. Therefore, lung cancers are rarely discovered until they have progressed to a late stage where they are almost untreatable. In contrast with the typical low cure rate, it is known that cancers found in the early stage are highly curable. According to research published in the New England Journal of Medicine, CT screening finds over 80% of lung cancers in this early stage. Some argue that having a CT scan could raise false alarms, or perhaps provide an early diagnosis that leads to the same deadly outcome. Would early detection from a low dose CT scan have definitely saved my mother-in-law? Since early detection has led to improved survival rates for many other types of cancer, logically the same should be true for early stage lung cancer. Furthermore, there is now research to support it! One of Randy’s last wishes was that the protocols for doctors be changed so that the high risk population has a better chance at early detection of lung cancer and potentially greater life expectancy. November is Lung Cancer Awareness month and the conclusion of the recently published research from I-ELCAP is clear, “Annual spiral CT screening can detect lung cancer that is curable.” If you currently fall into a high-risk category, ask your doctor about a low-dose spiral CT scan or call Greenwich hospital, a participating member of I-ELCAP. Lung Cancer Alliance recommends that the following people have a detailed discussion with their physician regarding the potential risks and benefits of undergoing a baseline CT scan: • Any smoker or former smoker over age 50 with a greater than 10 pack year history of cigarette smoking. (A pack year is equal to one pack a day for one year); • Any adult with significant exposure to cigarettes and a first degree relative (mother, father, sister, brother, son or daughter) who was diagnosed with lung cancer before age 50. The following groups should also consider a discussion about screening with their doctors: • Veterans who had active duty on submarines, in Vietnam or the Gulf War, and had exposure to asbestos, nuclear propulsion, herbicides, battlefield emissions or other carcinogens; • Past and present employees in munitions plants (who may already be eligible for free screening under the Department of Energy’s Worker Health Protection Program); • People exposed regularly to second-hand smoke (i.e. airline personnel, hospitality industry workers), or radon, or those working with asbestos or other known carcinogens. Some facts about lung cancer as reported by the Lung Cancer Alliance or I-ELCAP: • Lung cancer is the leading cause of cancer death in the United States. • The American Cancer Society (ACS) estimated that in 2005 there would be 172,570 new cases of lung cancer and 163,510 deaths. This indicates a cure rate of roughly 5%. • The ACS further projects that in 2006, lung cancer will kill 73,020 women and 90,470 men. • Lung cancer will kill more people this year than: breast, prostate, colon, liver and kidney cancer combined. Keri Cappiello is a resident of Ridgefield, CT and a Finance Associate at The Thomson Corporation, headquartered in Stamford, CT. As a participant in the Lung Cancer Alliance advocacy network, she is also dedicated to the organization’s goals of educating public policy leaders of the need for greater resources for lung cancer research while changing the face of lung cancer and reducing the stigma associated with the disease.

I'm just praying for you and your family. I hate lung cancer too.

I think the time will come where we will think of our mom or dad, or spouse where the memories will bring more smiles than tears. Just because I've seen it with others. I am not there yet. I don't think I will be any time soon. But that's me. It's still recent for you. Feel and let your emotions out...it's OK. Give yourself all the time you need and don't try to push to where you are trying to feel normal...I'm finding you can't rush grief.

Oh Jill, I am so sorry. If you think you need to see someone, you should. I started seeing someone this week. I'm working I'm functional. I'm not enjoying life to the fullest and I cry a lot (a lot for me anyway), but I still see the benefit in talking to someone. A friend (girl I dated many years ago) lost her dad when she was 13. She is now doing group therapy with other women who have lost parents. Give any of it a shot if you think it'll help. If it doesn't, you certainly didn't do any harm.

"I get my chest x-ray and tumor marker blood tests every year. I'm perfectly healthy."

I'm not medical, but it SOUNDS to me like there are things to be done, you all are doing them, getting very good care, and things are working out, as well as things can work out given that you are in the situation. I know surgery is always worrisome, and you all have been through so much already, but have faith. You've gotten this far! God bless.

Tonight is a big praying night for me...you all will be in my prayers.

That seems natural for some reason. I wonder why it is we fear our actions can bring about a completely unrelated negative circumstance? But I will pray for you tonight that all tests come out well. I look forward to seeing your test results in the good news section! God bless.

Thanks all for the encouragement and support. I got a chuckle by your post Maryanne. Thanks. I needed something to bring a smile. I am married to an awesome woman. But she is experiencing the loss as well. Her husband is now without his mother and one of her dearest friends is gone (she and Mom were super close). I have called her the greatest gift I ever gave my mother. So alone is certainly not a statistical fact...but it was the feeling today. I feel bad if I made it seem like I'm all alone...I know there are people because of this disease who have really been left that way. It's just mom and I understood eachother in a way noone else did.

That's very upsetting. So sorry.

What a blessing!

I'm not sure what could be causing it, but have someone take you sister to the doctor...any change, even if there is nothing that could be done, should at least be noted by the physician. This way you have the peace of mind all members of the "team" have been made aware.

Statistics are certainly not the final say, although, realistically, it is useful to know what you are up against and plan and act accordingly. That said, second opinion is key! If there is any hope, latch onto it!! We are here, please keep us posted.

Today I felt the most alone as I have since Mom passed October 5. I called my father and he proceeded give me crap about not mentioning him in the eulogy I gave for mom. He said, "you thanked everyone but me, and I've always been there for you." I thanked those who were there with mom during the last month and those who gave her what she wanted and supported her decisions. I was hurt that the day after mom died dad elected to go drinking rather than accept the dinner invite I extended...because I really wanted to talk with the "other" parent that is left. (dad's not generally a drinker, he just didn't handle this situation well). But rather than be hurtful, I told him #1, it was mom's eulogy and wasn't about YOU. And #2 I thanked the people who were in mom's life at that point, you haven't had a relationship with her in 17 years. I know he is grieving, he's said some other crappy stuff since mom died too. But I let it go, because we're all upset. And maybe he's just not thinking. But for the first time, I really felt completely alone. In a nut shell, it was one of those times I would have picked up the phone to talk to Mom. Wow, what an lousy day...I miss her so much right now. Thanks for allowing the therapeutic post.

It is stressful. But when you are upset, know that you are doing everything for your dad that you can. Hospice does not mean you have given up...it is not a death sentence. It is the preparation for a possibility. And to be prepared is a showing of love.

My mother had bone liver and brain mets. The brain mets gave her a coordination issue with her left hand (which is how we found out she had anything wronjg with her). Other than that she had NO SYMPTOMS whatsoever until the day she left us.

Understood.

A prayer of protection for Diane. Prayers of comfort for her family and for her neighbors who will miss her.

It is a hard step...I put off making the call for 29 days. My wife actually was the one who dialed, I couldn't do it. But my intent was to care and do right by my mom. And know that your taking this step is a great expression of love...