Nick C

I'd like to pile onto that sentiment.

First I am SO Sorry! My mother's thought process (and I agreed with the reasoning) was that the brain mets were starting to have neurological effects (motor function impairment). She electd to do the WBR to minimize the effects of the brain mets, as she put it "keep her mind". She was electing her "way to go". Hospice was still something Mom wanted, she felt the radiation would improve what time she did have. And IF she took a turn for the worse, hospice already be familiar with the situation. Calling hospice, I always say, doesn't mean THIS is the end, it's just preparing for whenever that may be.

I am just feeling for you right now and will pray for you and family.

Based on profits...that number seems doubtful. I wonder what population they are looking at?

I too had trouble with initiating hospice phone calls, but it really is how you can show that peace and comfort are what you want to give, and that is a good thing. Go there, know none of this is the end, as much as it feels like it is. I am really hurting for you right now, believe me.

Nicely done!!!

Your friends mom's voice may come back to them. I can't hear my mother's voice either...but I think that it would be too painful, and that's why I can't "hear it". I can hear my Gram laugh, I can hear many who have passed in my memory. Not her, not yet. But I also can't listen to the two messages I still have on my voice mail from her either. But the day will come.

Many of us get it, don't expect you to just "cheer up". But I am hopeful there will be some joyful moments for you here and there. Hoping the same for everyone who can't see how that is going to happen. Including me.

Oh my. I'm so sorry. I know she was a good Mommy, and you were an excellent daughter to her.

A woman I met while bringing my mother to an appt, her mom was there too. We said we'd pray for eachother's mothers. Her mom passed Saturday. I'll go to the wake tonight. I heard a woman here at work was going through the same just two weeks ago. We went to lunch. I talked her through what was happeneing. Her mom passed yesterday. I'll go to that service tues of wed, whenever it is. Pray for these families, and pray this disease starts getting some resources thrown at it!!

KarHart, are you part of the I-ELCAP study group? If not, maybe you could be just to get more folks into the database to speed along the research...

Val, You know so many here know. And we are all holding your hand and crying with you. Moms are awesome. And it makes us sad when they have gone away. We'll see them again Val...and how awesome is that going to be?!?!

Oh no. This is too much. I am so sorry. I don't know what to say. Know we are here to listen and lend support. I can't say how sorry I am.

No wisdom from me on this, but prayer is something I can offer. And I will.

It's a tough call. I don't know about "selfish". Because I've never fought the disease myself. My mother was not going to buy time at the expense of feeling lousy. But she chose radiation so she would feel better. She elected not to do chemo. None of it really mattered in the end for her, she got the time that she got...but it was mostly all "good". So I am thankful to God every day for that. It's got to be tough and scary for them, the prospect of suffering or the prospect of dying are not great choices, and when a patient feels like those are the only choices...well, it stinks. I am so sorry though...I know the pain you are feeling.

Stephanie, I am so sorry. #1, you don't have to be strong all the time, just supportive. I cried when mom was sick, but I told her I loved her and will help her do whatever...but I wasn't "strong" when I didn't feel like it. #2 This may be my last holiday. I'm not sick. But it may be. It may be my wife's. Last year was my mother's last holiday. We didn't know it at the time...goes to show ya, you never know. Every day is a holiday, every meal is a feast! Every day is a gift after diagnosis. Every day is a gift before too, we just don't realize it. My mother never treated every day like it was her last, she treated every day as her first. You do that too. And when Dad beats this thing, because I think there is a chance he can, you ALL can keep treating every day as a blessing.

The "a lot more" radiation is something I am looking to quantify. A full CAT certainly must be, but the low dose spiral, I have heard is one to three times the radiation. I would like to know which, 1 or three...

Melissa, The chest x-ray will only pick up a tumor 15% of the time. It did not pick up my mother's, even at it's latest stage. EARLY detection is key. If you are a person at risk, I would recommend a low dose radiation spiral CT Scan. I looked at X-rays and CT Scans my mother took with the Dr. Dr. could not see anything on the xray and as clear as day could see on the CT Scan. On insurance...the insurnace cos will only cover what is deemed protocol by the ACS or the NCI, and CT Scans are not. I hate to demonize insurance, as the fact is, it is a good thing, but we are obsessed as a society that every and anything we want should be covered by insurance. If something is not covered, we have a choice. Pay or potentially pay with our health. I just don't like that if it is not covered the doctors don't consider educating, informing and then giving you the choice to pay for something once you weight the risk/reward. That's my gripe! But for you personally Melissa, I don't know your personal or your families personal history. My mother died of Lung Cancer. She smoked for many years, I never have. I am technically "more at risk" than I was because I now have a family history, but am not an "at risk person" to the point where I would need annual CT Scans. If your family members who had LC were never smokers, pay for it! If they were and you are pay for it! If they were and you weren't...weigh the cost benefit.

Melissa, so sorry. This disease is not predictable to be sure. Please know prayers are with you and Mom and the rest of the family.

Holy cow did a wave of grief crash onto me today. Keri has a baby shower to go to, so we went to the store. The little bathtub, the ad for a pregnant woman and the older mother figure registering, even the sight of friggin baby pins... I had to leave. 2 weeks before Mom's diagnosis, we decided it was time to have a kid...would have been Mom's first Grandchild. So now what? Wait? Start? Doesn't matter, either way I won't see Mom's face when I tell her. And all the waiting in the world isn't going to change that. I'll never get what I thought was a given...Keri and I giving my mother the greatest gift we'd ever given her. Today was the FIRST TIME I said these words: THIS ISN'T FAIR. This isn't the way this was supposed to happen. This disease has taken away from the child we haven't even concieved yet the love of his/her grandmother and quite frankly the full joy he/she should get from his/her father. Because I can't imagine ever being as happy about having a child as I would have been... This is not fair to Keri, not fair to the "someday" child, not to the other grandparents, or to me. Sorry...rough day.

I can imagine this time would be hard, I hope your trip for the holidays brings a flood of good memories and great blessings in the present.

WOW

I'd want to see Jesus, but I'm pretty sure Mom would be first at the gate I'd just want to tell Jesus I'm doing my best...and ask for a bit of a pep talk knowing I would have to come back. Then just sit with Mom...

Stage isn't a reflection of how bad life is for the patient, stage is just, as I understand it, how the cancer is behaving. My mother was stage 4 when diagnosed...she kept working, and was fine while she was with us. I'm not sure what the doctor's motivation was.

Nice.