Nick C

Flowergirlie, I was thinking of you over this long weekend as I hadn't recalled an update in a while. I'm so sorry for this crisis. As far as mets being spotted somewhere else in his body, it is my understanding that the chemo will reach those places too (just not brain because of the blood brain barrier). So if chemo is being done, I don't know that a different place being spotted would make a difference. The chemo will be in his system (that's how mom's doc explained it) So have faith that treatments which ar e being done are going to work. And as far as keeping afloat. I gotta tell you, I'm just not sure there is a "how". I think you just proceed. Prayers to you. God bless.

Way to fight through this Lilly! I think you are being incredibly strong! I can't imagine what you are in the midst of, but I'm praying lots of strength and success for you.

I could imagine. Going through any formal matters at this point is exactly the stuff I want to be done with. Because it just feels like here I am right back at that moment in time again where life changed. I'm so sorry. Rest up and take some time for you. If you are exhausted mentally, give yourself a break. I'll watch a stupid movie like "bring it on" or "Stick It" or some other movie made for the teenage audiance. I find them mindless and therapeutic.

Has anyone had to deal with this stuff? I'm going through mom's house. Her cedar chest is full of cards and stuff I gave her over the years, she has a whole box of my school stuff upstairs in her attic. I'm sure there is more. This stuff meant something to her...but was mine. It's wierd to keep but wierd to get rid of. I can't believe the stuff she kept. It's sad that the woman who loved me SO much she'd keep every card I ever gave her and every picture I ever drew isn't here. It's sad that there is truly noone who I mean that much to around anymore. No one could ever love me as much as she did. Anywho, what do I do with this stuff?

Barb, please keep us posted, I'm keeping you in my prayers.

Just prayed for her and all around her.

If you felt you wanted to hear that, I think Mom was making you "feel" that, that she did watch and think you did a good job. I decided the day was fine. But it was not a happy day. It wasn't meant to be happy this year, but we did it. Our mother's are happy with all of us.

Hmmm. First I'm sorry you have the blues. Second, I wish I had a suggestion (guys always want to FIX things) but I don't. I just hope maybe you can both talk and see why the dinner together didn't happen. And next time hopefully it will. All my best.

Thanks Kelly, I hope you and yours had a wonderful thanksgiving.

Wishing for you a wonderful day!

Sweet!

Melissa, what a loving time you've had with Mom. God bless you both. I will say a prayer of thanksgiving for this post. I;m thankful you are having these times. I'm sorry mom is in pain, but she's so brave about it...I wouldn't mind bottling some of that spirit for myself. You're very fortunate to have such a wonderful Mom. Take care, Nick

They do have a way of being present to you.

I know Val, I'm about to try my hand at the stuffing. And tomorrow is turkey day. I'm hoping this sucker is thawed.

Tami I am so sorry.

Deb, I am so sorry. Your first holiday without Mom. I know. Me too. It will be tough. Everyday is tougher without our mom's. I know.

Lori, I will be praying for you and all on this holiday. It will be hard. This was OUR holiday. Can't believe she isn't here. Everytime I walked in the door, mom would have a spoonful of stuffing (technically dressing because she did it in the pan) and her eyes would get all squintty and she'd say "Try some stuffing?!" Everytime I reached in to oven to take out the bird, "Don't hurt your back!". I'll be missing her so badly BUT will take the hand I've been dealt this year and make some new traditions, give thanks for the past year...because there was still plenty to be thankful for...and remember her throughout the day. I'll be da&$ed if I don't have a thanksgiving she'd be proud of. I went to her house and grabbed her wine glass. I will pour some Cavit Pinot Grigio (her fav) and have it with me on my kitchen counter as I cook, that way she can be with me. I'll make her stuffing this year, and ask Keri if she wants to try...I'll be on mom's side of the spoon.

So put one in the "go have kids" column.

Treeby, I don't think you said anything wrong. That's a solid option...which has it's pluses and unfortunately it's minuses. As does every other option in the scenario. KNW55, I noticed you said you were staying strong. This is very hard. I have not been strong at all times. This takes your heart and sends it through the ringer...please take time for you, don't be bottled if the pressure is feeling unbearable. I lose it from time to time...and then I can cope a little better for a little while. And please know we are here!

I'll be making a special effort to be thenkful this year...I'm certainly thankful for the folks here.

Yes Katie and Rick as well. Thank you both. I can't imagine what the last 2 1/2 months would have been like without this place.

Shauna, I am SO sorry. I will confess, if the roles were reversed, I couldn't have possibly been understanding enough for my wife. Just because I didn't know. I didn't get it. Before it happened to me. I would have tried, just don't think I would have been quite good enough. Is there group grief counseling somewhere in your town? Do you have access to individual counseling through insurance...maybe if you go, and get him to go, maybe he'll witness your pain in that setting and get it? Either way, know we are here to support you. I too feel alone at times... we lost our mothers...I think it must just be the way folks feel at times like this.

I think which ever you do is OK, as it truly is a no win situation. He has made his wishes known, but perhaps he will still experience great joy in having you there. Or you stay away, and he experiences great joy in the fact that you did something you didn't want to do FOR HIM. I think positive will come out of whatever you do, because what ever you choose to do will be born out of love for him. Pray about it...invite God into the situation... can't hurt.

Oh no, so sorry. Your memories of him will be as he wanted I'm sure.

She sounded like an amazing woman! I am so sorry.