gail

I spent a fortune on hats, because that made me happy. I also redid my earring supply, because now I needed really eyecatching ones. Help her to not feel she needs to keep the wig on, expecially in the safety of her family. My friends and family were so reassuring. I even took my wig off during lunch break at school, thanks to the urging of my friends.

Did you see I'm a breast and lung person too? I call it my fried chicken order. And from Jersey! Yikes!!! I see the breast surgeon, the lung surgeon, the oncologist, and the pulminologist, but he is just once a year. All my doctors are in Phila, and all at the same hospital. Are you north Jersey?

Oh, kidnap her and leave! I was in the midst of changing oncologists (from the breast cancer) when the lung nodule came up. My old onc called to see why I was changing. since I was already tired from the whole what-is-this-nodule-thing, I lied and told him I wanted all my doctors in the same hospital. (The new onc was associated w/ my surgeon). He asked how I was and I told him I did have a lung nodule. He took a deep sigh and said in his saddest voice, "Oh, I'm SO sorry!" And I thought, "NOw that's exactly why I'm leaving you" Now the new onc-when I asked what we would do if the nodule was breast that had spread (I knew that would be the worst case), said in a very matter of fact voice, "Then we'll treat it" There are doctors out there, and sometimes you don't even have to go that far. Keep at her.

Wonderful words to share! Thanks for brightening my morning on this gray day. This is part of a post of an email that was sent to me: Work like you don't need the money. Love like you've never been hurt. Dance like nobody's watching. Sing like nobody's listening. Live like it's Heaven on Earth. Hugs those cute kids. Will you find us a picture? gail

Get another opinion, and soon. I got chills just reading about that doctor visit. I had not heard of anyone not knowing what type of NSLC the tumor was. I could be wrong but . . . I too, fired my first oncologist when I got the feeling that he was waiting for the other shoe to drop. I love my new one. My sisters live near UVA, but my only experience with UVA was with breast cancer patients. I knew of one woman who had 9 positive lymph nodes 5 years ago, and she is still fine and happy. I have 4 sisters, and feel your pain. gail

I vote for shopping as well as the ice cream!!!!

Being told I had cancer for the THIRD time almost did me in. Who has three cancers, much less survives? I worried about money--three times I had to take an extended leave of absence from work. I worried about money, college, and the state of the world. Bank accounts were drained. Then finally I said, "if I'm gone, it won't be my problem". Sounds strange, but I was not living for the moment, and missing much. Please note, Dear Sam, that I do not even try to compare with your symptoms. That's when I reread Tuesdays with Morrie. And it will be two years in June that I have been with the therapist. I cannot tell you how far emotionally I have come since the first few months when I just cried. I'm actually thinking about cutting back on my zoloft. One day at a time, or one hour at a time. Sometimes , when I can't cope, I just ask God to tell me what's next.

I hope you are not running yourself too ragged! Taking your vitamins???

You are all so wonderful. I know this is just a little pebble to kick out of the way. I keep waiting for God to show me why this is happening this year, but I also am waiting for the why's of cancer, so . . . It helped me to write the above, and reconfirm what I've always felt about my job. (5th grade). It's not what I teach, it's who I teach. I have always felt I teach children, not curriculum. (Can I get fired for saying that) Deb, your kids will be fine in school. It is very scarey to let them go. I was the worst mother---scared those teachers to death.

I am one of those stage 1A people. Had quit smoking 17 years prior to dx, and had only smoked for ten years. As a breast cancer survivor, I was being followed closely, and when breathing problems came up I had the xrays done. It was not until 2 weeks before surgery that anyone really mentioned lung cancer possibilities. And I was told that lung cancer would be better then mets from the breast. Sometimes I feel guilty talking about my situation. I am not going through treatment. My life is continuing. But that little 1 cm tumor in my lung scared me more then both breast tumors. The breast is attached to my body--the lung is in my body. Often I am glad to show people that you can continue life after lung cancer. The therapy has helped tremendously. I encourage anyone dealing with cancer to try it. Find someone who specializes in it. I feel strongly that my body reacts to stress by growing tumors. Now I am trying to remove stress from within. (Hence the difficulties dealing with my boss. ) I have just had two massages in two weeks, and could actually feel the toxins leaving my body. Highly recommend that, too!

I am done with that nasty review business. I wrote up my rebuttal and handed it to her very calmly. She told me in our meeting that I "really screwed up" the lesson. I quietly said to myself, "I've lived through 3 cancers. I've had chemotherapy. Did I harm the children with a so-so lesson on order of operations." I think not. I did not holler, or argue. I told my friends this observation was like a cut on my arm. The first few days it hurt. Then I put a bandaid on it, and it started to heal. Then the bandaid started to itch, and I just wanted to remove it. And it is off. Does this make any sense? I want to teach my children to be good citizens, to respect and encourage each other. I want them to enjoy learning, and whether I made a mistake in that lesson, so what? I teach my children that is part of learning. Thanks for letting me get this out.

What a wonderful way to start the spring! But wait---you guys getting any spring sunshine yet? Buy yourself some beautiful flowers. When I switched oncologists I knew immediately it was the right move. We know our gut. You are an example of why we don't give up.

Yeah, yeah, yeah!!! Love those kind of doctor visits.

Such wonderful news. You have shown the reason why you do not give up. Remember, Bernie Siegel said you are either living or dead, so while you are living, go for it. I think cancer makes you see doctors in a whole new light. I left my original oncologist after feeling like he was waiting for me to get a recurrence. They are only human, but I don't have to stay with one I don't like. At the time of my original lung cancer CAT scan. They were watching another spot on the other lung that was too small to biopsy. Well, two years later, no one even mentions the spot anymore. Good luck.

Cindy, at this time you just put one foot in front of the other, and let the rest of the world take care of the other stuff. Expect to move through the grieving process--shock, denial, anger, depression finally acceptance. It is not a quick process, and this is a great place to help yourself through it.

You have been such a great daughter, and I wish I lived closer to help you out. I will think warm and fuzzy thoughts.

Someone this weekend asked if I had changed my diet. I said sometimes, but then other times I tell myself if I'm going down . . . I'm going down eating the good stuff!

I had chemo with the breast cancer. I took ativan during chemo days, along with the anti-nausea drugs, and lived in my own happy cloud . . .

Sending you warm fuzzy thoughts and big big hugs.

Boo on the people who think we should crawl in a corner and wait for death to come, because IT WILL COME TO EVERYONE!!!! They are afraid and very sad, so use your wisdom and explain to them that you are either living or dead. Not dying. Bernie Siegel said that, I think.

Hope he's feeling better soon. Better safe then sorry.

Peggy, welcome. My sisters were and still are a vital part of my living through cancer. I cannot begin to name all the things they've done for me. Hope to talk to your sister sometime soon. I'm a teacher too!

I do love that panda. I almost cried when I saw them last spring. Glad your visit went well. It's nice to spend time together like that, and just enjoy. The zoo is the place to do that. Seize the day gail

It is hard to deal with a parent who cannot give us what we need. I know, I have spent many hours with the therapist over this. Through my adulthood I have worked on changing the "picture" of what the parent-child relationship "should" look like, but I was still banging my head on the brick wall. With the therapy now I am learning to go elsewhere for the validation I so desparately seek. And surprise, surprise, I am even starting to find it within. It's very difficult to talk about, and I admire your courage for being so open about it.

My father in law was my first real experience with lung cancer. The family did not talk about it. I felt very frustrated--this was not how I wanted to handle it. But then I read somewhere that the patient gets to choose how he wants to handle it. So I tried to let it go. I found other places to seek comfort. It was actually at that time that I went back to church. It was so overwhelming that I had to just go to God for comfort. I also found safe places to release. I remember several times just going away for the day. That was the best to recharge. I also think that generation doesn't express like ours does. Blessings to you