gail

Just to confuse you further--- The oncologist sent me for a lung biopsy. It was not fun. I was awake and they were sticking needles where needles have never been before. I almost stayed over night due to a possible lung collapse. The biopsy was "inconclusive". Next step was the thorasic surgeon. He said the biopsy was a waste of time and the nodule had to come out anyway. Give a hint where you are. Someone here has to be close to you.

I was 45 and had a month between finding the nodule and the surgery. At that point I was on anti anxiety AND anti depressent drugs. Like you, it was not clear what the nodule was. I was told a) breast cancer that had spread lung cancer, or c) none of the above. Like you, they were taking out the wedge, do the biopsy, and go from there. The good thing about the surgery was that I woke up and it was done. No diagnosis and then waiting for results. I woke up and they said "lung cancer". And they told me that was better then breast that had spread. I was reluctant at first to use the pain med IV, until the surgeon told me it was fine. I did not become addicted to morphine or demoral, but they sure were my friends in the hospital. Recovery the first two weeks can be slow. I've had lots of surgeries and have learned through mistakes to lay low for a week, and seriously do nothing (cleaning, cooking, laundry) for a week. Too much too soon will only aggrevate the surgery. Take the pain pills religously at first. If you wait for the onset of pain it is too late. I could tell by my body that it was time to take another. I did this and was off them before my four week visit to the surgeon. Do you have family around? Someone to help with the four year old? My kid was 7 with my first cancer and spent my first weekend home at his aunt's catching tadpoles. He cried when he left me, but didn't want to come home then. I also had a surgery when he was four. Prior to surgery I had all laundry done and clothes put away in piles and labeled, becuase my husband had no clue what was play clothes and good clothes. I also did a big grocery shopping and paid all the bills. My best hint??? Get a pedicure and massage the day before. You can't do polish, but I said if I'm going to be in bed for a week, I want my heels soft. Good luck and stay in touch.

Good for you and Lucie!!!!

Interesting question. My father in law was diagnosed in 1987, and died with in the year. We had only been married five years at the time, and watching the dynamics of the family was enlightening. It got real ugly after the funeral, and I had difficulty fogetting for a long time. I was first diagnosed in 93. My family was not the sharing kind. I did not want to and would not talk about it, so no one asked me how I was. I was tiptoed around. With the second diagnosis, I realized I had to be more open, and it became a group effort. Siblings went to appointments, cleaned my house, got the laundry done. With the lung cancer I just stood on the steps and hollered for anyone. My point? I have four sisters and a brother. They all react differently. We all have different personalities and are strong at different things. I have learned through the therapy to ask, but not expect. That's when I get bummed.

Did you celebrate with golf? Good news is great to hear.

Send me more details on the bill. I can hit the South Jersey guys.

Glad you wrote to us. Let us help. Hearing the news is horrendous, and we know. Keep talking to the insurance company, and don't take their first answer as gospel.

Treat yourself to something fun, before, and after the visit. I tend to shop impulsively on those days. Will be thinking of you.

Good for you Marie!!!! Treat yourself on your anniversary---you earned it. Saw my surgeon at U of Penn last week and he said see you in a year!!

Shannon, you surely know how to make the most of each moment, which is what we all should be doing, cancer or not!!! The day before my surgery, my minister prayed for angels around the operating table. I pray that your angels surround you on your trip.

You are absolutely not selfish!!!! You've known pain that most people never experience. And it does suck. After my third cancer diagnosis, I sat down with my brother in law and a Bible. I too, wondered if God had it in for me. I was assured not, that stuff happens. But he is there to carry us when needed.

Welcome to my world! Here's my zoloft story: Told the therapist that my mother-in-law and I are actually having fun together now. She asked me what I thought the difference was now. I told her it was the fact that we are both on zoloft. But seriously, I still have moods--saddness and depression and anger--but with the zoloft I don't go as low as I did before. I never popped pills before either.

Carleen, I am so sorry you two are going through this. And those doctor visits are tough. I had a terrible time at first. 9/11 happened 5 months after my surgery. I had just returned to my classroom for the first time since Easter. I was nervous, and still not feeling 100%. I wanted no stress in my life. Then our country turned upside down. I kept seeing those planes . . I finally realized that I was lucky. Cancer sucks, but I have time that they didn't. I had the opportunity to see , and decide what to do. I keep telling myself that people go to the store for milk and never return. I'm still here. It's just really hard. I remember sobbing in my father's arms and telling him I didn't want to go through this. He said "Neither do we". I still don't understand it all, but I'm still here. I spent my early married life arguing about who was doing the dishes. Not any more . .

Thank you for putting this together. I have thought about this for weeks. God and I had a lot of talking to do after the lung cancer. I really thoguht he had it in for me, as this was my third cancer. I woke one night in the hospital, and three people were standing and looking at me. I asked them why, and they said I had stopped breathing and was turning blue. Once home, I opened the Bible, for the first time in a long time, and started reading Psalms. I cried a lot too, anywhere and anytime. I saw the minister the day before the surgery, and he prayed for angels to stand around my operating table. I liked that. We had a healing service last year at church--I was waiting the results of a CAT scan following a suspicious xray. I became hysterical, and left that day. This year I made it through the service with flying colors. I keep rejoicing every day I awake. Too many people do not have the inclination to do so. Too many people leave their house and never return. God Bless

Stay with us; we are here to help. I had not smoked for 17 years when I was diagnosed with lung cancer. My son was only 7 when I had my first breast cancer. It is tough to look at them. Getting on zoloft helped me tremendously. I could not deal with it all on my own. And for a while I used tylenol PM to sleep. I learned that I was worse without good sleep. Don't be afraid to tell people what you need. Ask for help. People want to help. gail

It's a beautiful sunny morning here in Jersey, and my day just got brighter hearing your good news!!! Thanks for sharing. seize the day gail

Take a deep breath. I WAS 45, with a teen age son, when my nodule was found. And that was two years ago this past week. You are just in that very scary part. The lung cancer was my third cancer, so I went into all the testing with anti-depressents, anti-anxiety pills, and an ativan chaser. I also took PEOPLE magazine to every doctor appointment. Really! Take someone else with you to the appointments. When I met with the surgeon, I had two people in the room. Stop reading statistics. Only God knows when you will leave this earth. We are here. gail

I was a stage 1 patient--the surgery was not easy, but it was not as bad as they painted the picture to be. There are many, many drugs out there for anxiety and pain. We can walk her through the surgery. Two years later I am fine. I may not be able to hike Mt Everest, but I wasn't going to do it before, either. They removed 1/2 of my lung, and except for really humid days I don't notice it. Feel free to email me: gc508@comcast.net gail

I told them at the salon exactly why I was there. I never, never, never treated myself before the lung cancer. I highly recommend it to every one of you---caretakers or survivors. I know my stress has dropped since the massages, and I feel great. I am actually very happy today. On the year anniversary of my first breast cancer, I was miserable and depressed. Seize the day!!!!

My massage is scheduled for the following week. I don't mess around any more.

I needed a chest x ray to take to the surgeon's 6 month visit in May. I was excited when I found parking on the street in Phila! Good sign, I said. Saw the therapist prior to the x ray, and that was good too. I went over to the hospital and it was more crowded then I had ever seen. They took the film and then I had to wait while they viewed it. I was coming up to the 2 hour meter limit, and I was still sitting there and was trying not to get aggrevated. Then all of a sudden I had this thought: What if something is wrong, and they are calling my doctor? With that thought, I decided to sit and wait like a good girl. (I know, I know). One hour and 15 minutes later, they told me I could go. I prayed my car would still be there. It was. I hoped the ticket would not be too expensive. THERE WAS NO TICKET!!!

Tomorrow will be two years since my lung cancer surgery. I went to sleep that day and woke up to be told "good news, it's lung cancer". It has been quite a circus, but I know I've come out a better person for it. My plan for tomorrow? I'm getting my first facial, followed by a pedicure.

Good scans are always welcome news!!!

On Monday I attend the viewing of a collegue's 31 year old daughter who lost her battle with leukemia. She told us that the last two weeks, when they knew Sandi was dying, helped prepare them for the idea of her passing on. And may I share this thought, which I don't often: I have often thought what it would be like if the cancer won the battle. I would hope that time would be used to prepare my family. A friend helped her mother decide what dress the mother would be buried in. And I can only begin to imagine your pain.

Try not to beat yourself up. That will get you nowhere. She is not blaming you. And remember--hospital workers see crisis all the time, and have to build a shield to protect themselves. Just hold her hand and talk to her.