Larry's Wife

Gracie, I'm so sorry. Hugs and prayers to you all. Lynn

Hi Diane. Sorry you had to find us, but you came to the right place. I'm sure folks will start replying to you very soon. My husband has not lost his appetite this time, but he couldn't eat solid food several years ago when he was battling non-hodgkin's lymphoma. He drank Ensure. It comes in a few flavors. Larry liked the vanilla. As a matter of fact, I have some in my pantry now, just in case I need it. Lynn

Yes, Kelly. Update the signature section. Good night. Talk to you soon.

Lillee, I am so sorry to hear about your dad. Many people who post here will tell you that they tolerated chemo quite well. Many remain quite active during their treatment regimens. My husband has had both Carboplatin/VP-16 and Hycamptin (topotecan). During both of these regimens, he worked full time, except for chemo days. Right now, he is on Gemzar. Fatigue generally sets in 3-4 days after his treatment. But every person will react a bit differently. Felicitations to you on your upcoming wedding. Lynn

Debz, my deepest condolences to you and your family. Lynn

Excellent news! Good luck on Monday! Lynn

Kelly, rant away!! That's one really awesome aspect of this board. We understand. And it will help you to get things off your chest, too. As far as your family, you may just have to tell them what you need from them (as opposed to what they think you need). Together, you all can probably come up with a workable plan. Good luck on the home front. Lynn

Wow, Denise. You and your Tom are well loved. That means you're special folks. That's awesome.

Hi, Kelly. I can't answer your questions, but I wanted to welcome you to the board. I'm sure others will be replying soon and might be able to shed some light for you. It seems to me that each patient has a different experience in the early stages of diagnosis. My husband had a broncoscopy along with several scans. He was ultimately diagnosed with small cell lung cancer with extensive disease. You've come to the right place for information and support. There are some really awesome folks on this board. I'll be praying for you. Lynn

Honeybee, I am so sorry for your loss. It must have been very comforting for your mom that she was surrounded by her loving family when God took her home. Lynn

Eric, what an inspirational post! The love your family has for one another shines through in every single word. Your dad must be extremely proud of you. You are a wise man. I extend my deepest condolences to you and your family. Lynn

Prayers for you and Tom. Lynn

That's great news, Gail. Prayers for Hank's continued improvement. Lynn

bwarfel, I'm sorry you lost your beloved wife. Your love for her is apparent in your post.

Congratulations!

Great news, Ann! Good luck in your new job!!

Thank you so much for posting that awesome news! It helps me keep hope alive!

Gracie, my condolences to you and your family.

blueeye, I'm so sorry.

lilyjohn, I read your post earlier, but couldn't bear to respond right away. I had an aunt and a friend who both committed suicide. So senseless! I was so angry at my aunt. It took me a very long time to understand that she didn't deserve my anger. She deserved my pity...and my compassion. She was mentally ill. Honestly, all the signs were there, but we didn't see them for what they were. Several years later, a friend of mine hung himself. He could have stood up and he would have saved himself! But he didn't stand up. He was also a young man. He was going through some pretty difficult stuff at the time, but nothing that he couldn't have overcome with time and the support of his friends and family. He was so loved! Even after all these years, I am still heartbroken for his family. I'll add your granddaughter and the young man's friends and family to my prayers. I understand how much they are hurting.

Tee Hee! Thanks for the day-brightener.

$3.85 at Murphy Oil (Walmart) east coast of Central Florida.

Thanks, hinj! It felt good to get that off my chest.

I would imagine it is pretty common for some family members not to step up. Let me tell tell you a long, drawn-out story: Everybody was there when Larry was transported by ambulance to the hospital with seizures back in January. Everybody was there when we brought him home from the hospital so he could die with dignity. We were running two 24-hour shifts of two people. I was teamed up with Larry's oldest daughter (S). Larry's youngest daughter (J) was teamed up with Larry's sister (D), a retired hospice nurse. I thought we were doing fine, but then D got the out of town family in an uproar that S was overmedicating him. Mind you, he was having hallucinations and we were giving him less than the minimum dose of Ativan and Haldol. We only gave him medication if he was symptomatic (as were D & J). So, I had to call the out of towners. I explained the treatment plan and our dosing schedule. They all agreed that we were doing the right thing for Larry. We write everything down. No doses of any medication are given without writing them down, courtesy of D, our retired hospice nurse. She set up all of the charting that we do. And it is a good system. It has really worked for us. But honestly, I didn't understand why D would want everyone to be in an uproar. She had been so helpful, but then she just got vicious. I didn't understand her motivation. So anyway, a couple of days later, Larry was feeling much better. S and I were just coming off our shift. As we were waiting for D and J to relieve us, we started talking about how Larry was doing so much better. We brought this man home to die, but he is improving by leaps and bounds. We didn't understand. Maybe we should get a second opinion. So I called Larry's primary doctor to see if we could get an appointment. Yes, you can get an appointment. Be here in 30 minutes. Well, we live 45 minutes away, so we packed Larry up in the car and I drove like a maniac to get there. On the way, we left messages for D and J to call us. So, we get to the doctor. He confirms that Larry has the right diagnosis. We come home. D and J are waiting for us. Mad as two wet hens. Why didn't you call us? We did. Why didn't you wait for us? You were already late, we didn't have time. So, then the fatal words from D, the retired hospice nurse: Well, you don't need us anymore. We're going home. So D and J left. S and I looked at each other. S said, "I need to leave, too. I need some sleep." So she left. And Larry and I were left alone. Well, S came back the next day and we started our routine. She and I take care of Larry. We have done this since early February. But S has medical problems of her own. I can't always depend on her to come so I can go to work for a couple of hours. J comes (rarely) in the evenings, for a "party". She says that she has already settled everything with her dad, so she doesn't feel the need to come and "hang out". D, a snowbird, has moved back up north. To my chagrine, I don't miss her. She came occasionally to relieve me before she left, but she talked Larry's ear off while she was here. She never gave him a moment's rest, which she fully admitted. "Well, Larry was tired today, but he didn't get a nap because I just had so much to say to him. You know how I am!" So, S and I have been sole caretakers. But, because of S's medical problems, I can't depend on her to be here when I absolutely have to leave him. So, sometimes I leave him alone. It scares me to death! Well, on Memorial Day, we had a cookout. Both S and J said that they would start coming again regularly. OK, great. Today comes. S rolls in at about 2:30. My work gets out at 3:30, so no sense going there. No sign of J. Sigh.