Cat,
I hope you're having a good time with your brother visiting. I just thought I'd tell you this story... Although I know it's very different from yours -- I only hope it will give you more hope. Here goes:
Several years ago I met a mom whose son had cancer (diagnosed about age 3) and they had been told by a very reputable medical institution that it was inoperable and he would die. The mom said, "But what if you tried to take it out anyway? If you don't, he'll die -- So why can't you try? If he dies during surgery, at least we tried." They still said no way, that no one would operate on this. (The little boy had neuroblastoma, a childhood cancer, with an enormous tumor in his abdomen. I saw a picture of him during that time, and it was so big it was almost impossible to believe.)
Anyway, the mom didn't give up. Several expert doctors later, everyone was still telling her it was inoperable. Finally someone on the internet told her to contact a certain doctor in New York, who might consider the case. She called, and the doctor had just left for a vacation, his assistant said. The mom faxed a photograph of her son to the office. The assistant called the doctor at home, he saw the photograph, and he called the mom that night. He talked to her and said that the surgery would be extremely risky, but he would try. She asked how soon, and he said "yesterday - just get up here." They were on a flight the next day, I believe, and the surgery happened very soon.
This story had all happened about 3 years prior to when I met the woman at an even in Washington, DC in 2000. That day, her son -- then about 6 -- was playing with a bunch of other kids, and looked as though he'd never been sick a day in his life. All because the mom never gave up, in spite of experts (and they truly were) telling her she should.
So again... I know every story does not end up this way, by any means. And I know that you are tired and have such an uphill battle before you in many ways. But I did want you to know that miracles do happen, and that I hope you are one of them. I truly do.
Praying for us all,
Becky
P.S. I just realized this boy must be must be at least 10 by now, and I know he's fine because I would have heard from multiple people if he had relapsed. Here's to everyone defeating the odds.