Geri

It all sounds pretty good to me, slow and steady usually wins the race! Stay strong Geri

Mary I'm so sorry that you're hurting so bad. I've been where you are and it is very painful and all the 'firsts' are dreadful but they keep on coming and then they do get easier. I lost my mom when I was 16 and my dad when I was 23. It's a long story but I didn't grieve for my mom properly and paid a very high price later on. I have to say that had I been able to talk someone about it at the time my life would have been such a lot easier. I can't stress enough that counselling would be a huge benefit, the pain could be much easier to handle and maybe you would not feel the need to be so alone in your grieving. I shall keep you in my thoughts and hope for an end to your despair. Take care Geri

Larry you took the word out of my mouth! Thanks Doug for saying what we all think but can't express. Geri

Best bit of no news I've heard in a long time! It's wonderful, Geri

Congratulations Debi. Your post says it all, thanks for putting my feelings into words! take care Geri

I am so sorry to hear that David lost his battle with this awful disease. He fought so hard to beat it. My thoughts are with you all Geri

AAAh! Fay you have just come with my dinner menu for Wed night........my husband will be away and it sounds like a perfect dinner for one!!! Geri

I am married to a man who has had acid reflux for 40 years (nothing to do with any tx just good old stress and excess acid). Any way, he has been told by his gastroenterologist to sleep on his right side so that the acid isn't so likely to back up. He takes double doses of Nexium and swears by it and found that the right side sleeping also helped. Hope this problem doesn't last long Geri

I too lost my mom to cancer when she was 48 and I was 16. This was over 40 years ago and times were different, therapy was only for people with "real" mental illness and my dad bless his heart didn't know what to do with two teenage daughters. The upshot of it all was that my dad did all the wrong things for all the right reasons, my sister and I knew tacitly not to cry and what a mistake that was. Please get help, I didn't and paid for it later on when I had to learn to grieve for my mom in my 40's. No one is going to sit in judgement or think that you are off the wall in your grief, I wish someone had taken me by the hand back then and gotten me the help I needed - so much about my life would have been easier. Take care Geri

This truly is bitterwseet isn't it. It's a really odd thing to celebrate - I don't know what to do either so I just go on my merry way and when people notice I just say thanks for the good thoughts. I'm so pleased for you both that things are going so well, may there be many more aniversaries not to celebrate. Geri

A few weeks ago Addie started a thread about finger nails, the strengthening or weakening during and after chemo. I said at the time that I would ask my onc (who is head of thoracic oncology) what the deal was. His answer today was.........I have no idea!! He did however mention that his speciality is getting rid of lung cancer (which he did in my case) and very little appeared else to be of interest to him. Soooo, my suggestion would be for someone still in tx to ask the infusion nurses, they seem to know more about this sort of thing than the drs anyway. The question is: why do weak nails get stronger and strong nails get weaker after chemo? If anyone can find the answer to this question they will not be awarded the Nobel Prize or anything but some of us will have our curiosity quenched. Thanks Geri

The results are all good! Blood work and xrays are clean and the CT and MRI are "preliminary" but show no changes, just the same scar tissue. In a CYA (or should I say CHA) measure I have to call next week for the official scan readings. I don't have to see him for a year, which is a little daunting, and then I am set free of the cancer centre -hopefully forever. My take on it was that he's setting me loose with one oar and next year he's taking it away. Somewhat scary but at the same time I feel like a teenager who's just graduated. To celelbrate I've just had a large glass of Bailey's Irish Cream (sorry Cindi I couldn't wait for the pub to open0 and a big bowl of potato chips.........I wonder what my husband is expecting for dinner?> Anyway people, thank you so much for all the prayers and good wishes. I wish the same results for everyone here. Geri

All I can say is Aagh Craap!! Sorry to hear your news, stay strong and think positive. Will be rooting for you Geri

always #1, I woke up again today 2, My daughter is about to marry the love of her life...and we like him a lot 3, His family came for the weekend to meet us....and we liked them too! 4, The sun has been shining for about a week and it's only rained once - in the evening. 5, The good scan and test results that people have been getting and I'm hoping to get on Friday. Happy SUNNY Tuesday from Vermont Geri

ya got me, even though the fart line told me I was being had I couldn't stop!!! Good one. Geri

Hi, sorry to hear about your troubles, like Joanie I'm 3.5 years out from diagnosis and have been cancer free for most of that time. Your mom will have good days and bad but she has support which will go a long way in her battle. I live in VT and my daughter was still in TX during my cancer days, it was very hard for her to be so far away but for me in a way it was easier that she wasn't there.......I didn't have to put a brave "mother" face on if I didn't feel like it! Just remember this is not a certain death sentence, lots of us survive for a very long time and there's no reason to think that your mom isn't one of them. Take care Geri

How timely that I should read your post (a little late). Next Friday I go for my 6 month check complete with MRI/CT and the rest of the works.I'm 3.5 years from dx and am still getting the wobblies about the tests........by this time next week my husband will be living with a raving maniac who will be ticked off if he doesn't ask after my day but will be equally steamed when he pokes his nose into my business by asking how my day went! After all these test times he's wised up to the fact that he can't win and will mention a few weeks before that it must be almost time for my check up!! Bless his heart. Were you at my last MRI? Except for the music you wrote my story. I wonder if you ever get to be blase about these things, if so I sure hope I get there soon. Thanks for starting off my day with a smile. Geri

Since when do statistics count........according to the stats you should have been dead for about 18 months and I'm about 3 years late for my funeral! You weren't in the 85%+ that didn't make it through the first year why should you be in that percentage now?? Behind you all the way, Frank. Geri

This is all too familiar a story. I like to think that it's discomfort on the part of the absentee person, they don't know what to say,they don't know how to act, or they're just plain scared of someone who's so ill. But I think sometimes it's just thoughtlessness - the out of sight out of mind syndrome. I thought that my new neighborhood (6 months in a new house) was just great, I was asked to take dinner to my next door neighbor who had kidney cancer and his wife had gone back to work. This is wonderful I thought, caring people who are looking after one another (we had only lived in VT for 15 months at the time). Two weeks after my dinner delivery I was dx and the people on the street disappeared! Not a soul asked how I was when they saw my husband but 2 years later when my neighbors widow had hip replacement surgery I was again asked to supply dinner!! Which I did willingly but with a tad of resentment thrown in. Only two of my fledgling friendships endured my cancer and those are women I shall treasure forever. As Claire's friends are not new ones I'd say give them a call, you don't have to accuse them of neglect right off the bat - maybe they're just being very English (I'm an English transplant)and don't want to intrude - by acting ignorant of their transgressions you may be able to get them to open up about why they've been avoiding her or prod them into being supportive. Good luck, Geri

How neat is that. My brother in law is able to see all this stuff, he can see the spirit guides waiting to take people over when they die and a lot of things that he doesn't like. I find it all amazing and now my daughter who has always said that she 'feels' things has learned to channel spirit guides and is really starting to hone her gift. I'm just hoping that she doesn't see any guides waiting for me any time soon! I will be watching the board in September/October to see if the medium's timing is right. Take care Geri

Don't know if this could help Frank but I gained a whole lot of weight with the chemo and steroids so I am now what is commonly known as fat.... as I can't carry a tune I do not sing under any circumstances, do you think if I came to stay this could keep the other fat lady away? You are an inspiration, a man after my own heart with your wonderful humor. Take good care Geri

I had mine in for 3+ years and it was the best thing after the invention of sliced bread! No more needle sticks or vein searches for an IV. Just make sure that you get it flushed every month when it's not being accessed for tests or tx regularily.......I forgot for a couple of months and had it block with a clot. Good luck Geri

This has struck a chord for me, I didn't realize my distrust of the ACS wasn't mine alone. Having lost both my parents to cancer (mom, stomach - dad, lung) at a young age I have always supported the local Cancer Society. For years in Canada I collected from my neighborhood during daffodil week, sent yearly donations myself regardless of any campaigns they had going on. Upon moving to the US 11 years ago I contacted the ACS in Texas to volunteer my services, I left messages, spoke to mumerous people but nobody actually seemed interested in a warm body who was willing to help. I still continued to donate my money however, and assumed that it was being used for the greater good. When we moved to Vermont I was asked to solicit donations from my neighbors in the form of a mailing to everyone on my street. I did this willingly, feeling very good about my contribution to this very worthy and esteemed organization. I even continued to do this through my tx and recovery. This turned out to be the tip of the iceberg.....I started to receive requests from every level of the ACS in VT. Let us bear in mind that this state only has 600,000 people in it and I was being asked to donate to the local, county, regional and state offices! I was being asked to support the ACS in VT singlehandedly!! When I received a call from one office (who knows at which level) to help with their campaign again I mentioned that they had spent a considerable amount of my donations over the years mailing me requests for money and if they wished to get together and make one joint request I would consider sending them a check. I've not heard any more about that but I continue to get the letters and they have sold (or given) my name to other charities........I now get requests from other organizations that also spell my name with a J!! For the first time in 35 years I didn't make a donation to a cancer society, I was feeling quite guilty about it but having lung cancer and being treated as a leper (just love that analogy - thanks) has made me far more discerning about the different levels of cancer (almost like the Indian caste system). What I didn't realize was that most of the cause for the cancer "tier" system was the ACS attitude in the past. Thank you Fay for clueing me in on this - my guilt has gone and my research money, such as it is, will be finding a new home in the future. Geri

I'm a 3+yr survivor so memories of radiation and chemo are rapidly fading (a little like childbirth) I have no real recolections of any out of body feelings but I do remember feeling so tired that nothing seemed real. Everything was just too much trouble at times and sleep was my very best friend. For me the fatique that came with the tx was nothing like anything I had ever experienced before or since, it's an absolute feeling of being totally drained - of everything. I sat one day 15ft from our water cooler and stayed thirsty for a while because I couldn't summon the energy to get up and fill my glass. I don't think at that time I could have described how I felt and I know that my family couldn't understand the depth of the tiredness, how ever much they thought they did. I knew life was going on around me but at times it was very hard to concentrate enough to follow conversdations going on between other people in the room. I don't know if this is anyting like the way your sister is feeling, we all have very different, yet very similar, reactions to our cancer tx. Wishing you, your sister and all your family the very easiest route through this cancer minefield. Take care, Geri

Funny you should mention this.....at the stage I'm at it seemed a tad shallow to bring it up. I have always had really good nails,they grew strong and long with a really good shape. During chemo they seemed to grow even better but put that down to my not doing a darn thing to break them - sitting or lying around is not exactly hard on the hands. But a few months after tx had finished I noticed that most of my nails were ridged (I mean real deep ridges) and were almost paper thin. They now break, split of just generally disappear in the blink of an eye. My cuticles are rough and almost totally ragged, all told my hands are a mess. At this point I'll keep these nails if it means I stay NED, but I do think back fondly to my old hands with the long nails. To think I even used to do housework with no gloves and they stayed long........aaah the old days! I'm going for my 6 month check up next month, I'll try and remember to ask the onc......can you hear it, excuse me top thoracic oncologist - you got rid of my cancer but can you tell me what's happened to my finger nails! This man has a sense of humor so it could be a fun answer. I'll let you know. Geri