patut

Thanks. I'm sharing this with my kids. Funny, I started lighting two special candles in my home for my hubbie last week. Cyndy p.s. I just noticed it leaves a little candle burning on the desktop. How neat!

Please accept my sympathies on the loss of your Dad. I am so glad to hear how he attended your wedding. That is beautiful and special. You are in my thoughts and prayers during this time of very mixed emotions. Cyndy

Thanks for sharing! Cyndy

Wow. When I started this string I didn't have anyone in mind except Dr. Joe. I thought he had received some private messages that helped make his own decision for a permanent pass and it disturbed me. Didn't have any idea about all of the above. Looks like we're all on the right track now anyway. Have an excellent day everybody. The sun is shining here in the Adirondacks today. May it shine for all of you too! Cyndy

I get nervous when I figure out that anyone has somehow hurt another person at lchelp. It's because I myself belonged to two other sites similar to this (for another disease), and they are both being shut down. Maybe it's inevitable when there is such a large membership with all of us having our own opinions. My idea is we should only show support on this board and if anyone is feeling otherwise, perhaps they should keep it to themselves. This board has been a very safe place for me and I sure want it to stay here to help anyone who asks. In harmony and hopes for a peaceful existence, Cyndy

We are all here with you. God bless you and remember, deep inside you is something very strong that can carry you through this. It's based on love…love for yourself and love of others. Many of us are going through the same thing. It's so good we can talk to each other here. Cyndy

I like that. Some of the words on certain sympathy cards I have received are so special too. I keep several close to me to read again and again. When I lost my mother though the best idea that came across to me were some words from Carly Simond that she wrote after she lost her own mother… "I'll wait no more for you like a daughter, that part of our life together is over, but I will wait for you forever…like a river……………………………………"

Sharon. Please know that you did not kill your Daddy. I felt the same way when my Tim started not taking any food (at first) and then would only drink orange juice and ice water, and then even stopped asking for anything. I felt like maybe I was starving him to death by not forcing him to eat. Then I read a paper hospice gave me explaining the dying process. I realized we have no control over this dying process; it is the last part of our life here as we know it. Please know that you did all you could do, you need not have any guilt feelings. Your Dad still loves you and my Tim still loves me. Cyndy

(((((Randi))))) Hello from upper NYS. You'r baby is beautiful! I am grandma to several and I can see how proud you are. I have no good advice accept to hang in there. You are doing the best you can, as difficult as it is. There will be better days ahead. Cyndy

I'm happy for your news. I read somewhere about controlling migranes. Maybe try a google search for information. My best, Cyndy

I'm glad we're up again. Yesterday I had to start the phone calls with Social Security, financial advisor, etc. and it mentally drained me. These people were wonderful to me, are making it as easy as they can for me, yet this part is upsetting me. Today I called my lawyer, silly me hadn't even done that yet as I hadn't thought of it. I'll meet with him Monday and he'll help me through the next part. Going back to work at school has been wonderful - I love working with those little and big kids. And my collegues are all great and checking on me. But this other part really set me back when I came home from school today. I ended up turning on my old noisy portable stairs vac, vacuumed the stairs and wailed away with it loud as I could. I felt a bit better after that, but soon fell asleep in my chair with exhaustion. Part of it too is the fact that this is the first day I've been alone for real. My youngest daughter went home after being here for two weeks. As long as she was here, I felt like I couldn't have a great cry. I share these feelings here in hopes of helping anyone else who has to go through it - the grieving process. Having gone back and read some of the older posts here has helped me a lot. Thank you for this great site! Cyndy

Wishing you both only the best. Cyndy

Thanks Andrea. Actually she's 34, but that looks like a good site you mentioned for kids. Maybe my grandkids could use it. Thanks, Cyndy

Some of you have given web sites to help people in need of support in their grieving. I just found out my daughter is having a difficult time, not sleeping well, sick with the flu, kids are sick, and she is crying more then she wants to. Would some of you mind putting up some websites that you have found helpful? Especially for a young lady who has lost her best Dad? I seem to be coping better then she is. Thanks very much, Cyndy

I am so glad we all have each other here to share our sadnesses and gladnesses. It's like writing in a journal I think, only we're letting it out to our special community for all to see. I am so sorry for the loss of your two friends. It's like beyond belief - just like the sunami disaster. We will go on because God will give us strength and we will help each other. Cyndy

Right on Lily!

Right - I'm a teacher and I'm looking forward to starting in again day after tomorrow. It gives me whole days to think about other things and other people - great therapy for me. I'm really glad the new year has started - a nice time to start over. Happy New Year to all. Cyndy

One thing I've decided now is that I'm glad our oncologist did not fill us in with all the facts and stage numbers, etc. If I wanted to know I had to go to extra effort to ask the secretary for those reports. I did that at first, and then stopped. I believe now she was trying to help us remain strong and positive and in the fighting mode. I encouraged my hubbie to plan things for the future, for instance it was time to renew his commercial driver's liscence (8 year renewal here) and it cost a mint. It made him feel real good, and he did continue driving as long as he could. We talked about what we would do next summer, etc. as someone aboves uggested. It's true, being optomistic is catching. I'd recommend it for anyone. Cyndy

Hello Margaret. My Tim was put on Megace after his chemo caused him to get really really thin. I remember he had four pills at once in the a.m. at that point. And boy did he start eating. He gained about 20 pounds and looked so much better. The second time he was put on it he had one pill twice a day and that helped him too. It's really exciting when they start to eat again, isn't it. I think a side effect for him though was that he held fluid in his lower legs and feet. It was no big deal for him. Wishing you the best and a very good new year. Cyndy

I too am grieving for my Tim who left us on December 19th. Growing stronger is what I hope will continue to happen, and I an optomistic because I can feel his peacefulness all around me. He is watching over me and his family as he always did. Happy New Year Sharon, it's a time for new beginnings for all of us. Love, Cyndy

AND MANY MORE

Beautiful post and tribute, Curtis. Have a beautiful day. Cyndy

Your cyber family is here for you 100%! Prayers and good wishes as you work through this. You are truly loved here by us all. Cyndy

Today this poem meant a lot to me. Thank you so much. Cyndy

Rich, I am thinking of you and hope you can sleep as easily in a chair as I can. I had a lot of practice over the last year. My best to you. Cyndy