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Having been a surviving spouse ( I dislike the word widow) for almost four months now, I notice I haven't changed the way I dress or my life style either. I do notice that I am feeling emotionally better at four months then I did at three months into it. I still cry, but it's more like twice a week now rather then every day. It doesn't really matter to me how others are looking at me; many of them are also still grieving his passing. I know he would want me to carry on with what he and I started together which is basically loving our family and serving in our community.

A happy big 50 Cindi! Hope you had an excellent day. Cyndy

Ginni is settling on her house tomorrow My income taxes are also finished - filed Tim's last one though My cold is finally getting better Plans are almost finalized for Tim's internment May 12th Spring break is next week…my trip to visit 2 of my kids in Boston and RI Tim: 9/15/38-12/19/04 diagnosed 2/02 after 5 months wrongly diagnosed with allergies

Love it!!!!!!!!!!!! (needed that giggle this a.m. - thanks)

I can't believe I stayed up the extra hour to watch the show either. At least we're in the spot light now. C.

That's what I want to hear! Yes!!!!! C.

I'm routing for you Frank!!!!! Cyndy

It is SO good to hear such good news. Congratulations and keep it up! Cyndy

This news just sickens me. Shows me how it doesn't matter who you are to be stricken with this d--n disease. Peter is 66, same age my Tim was when he left us in December.

Maybe it's the new time change and maybe it's because I have a slight cold, but I sure feel tired and saddish tonight. Is it time for bed yet?

That is wonderful news Sharon. I am really happy for you! Grandkids are the best. Cyndy Timothy, my man: 9/15/38 to 12/19/05. I miss you tonight.

Love and prayers to you and your hubbie, Peggy. Go Tarceva!!!!!! Cyndy

April Fool! For today I have one: It's Friday!!!!!!!

Hey Frank! I'm supplying the doughnuts. Keep the faith! C.

I am so sorry for your loss. There are others here feeling exactly as you do at this moment. We are all with you. C.

I heard on the radio today that teen smoking is on the increase again. Also, there is lots coming out in tv ads about the hazards of second hand smoke. Hmmm…

Hi Angie. I am so glad you shared your daughter's poem. I really identified with your opening sentence in your post, that's exactly how I felt over the last year with my hubbie. The poem is wonderful and you have a lot to be proud of in your daughter. Congratulations! Cyndy

I bought the headstone/bench we would both like and admire I made plans for the spring internment to be in May I bought my new front door and found someone who will install it I changed my telephone answering to just my name I am slowing gaining enpowerment as I change things into my name only Timothy: First symptoms 9/02 - misdiagnosed with allergies Correct diagnoses 2/03, left us 12/19/04 at age 66

My husband suffered terribly with the hiccups at different times throughout the course of his treatments. It didn't seem to be a result of his meds we decided, (he was on Iressa) and he was given a medication for it even went to the emergency room once because they made him so weak). If you do a search of 'hiccups' you will find all my posts of when I was asking for information on it. We never did find a cure, but they eventually would go away for long periods of time. Wishing you luck with this awful hiccup thing… Cyndy

1. I can 'do' this first Easter without my man, 'cause I have to 2. I was able to play organ at all my church services this week 3. I liked making my dish to take to the family dinner today 4. I am allowed jelly beans and chocolate bunnies today 5. Easter means good news and re-birth…I am trying and I will succeed

1. Snowflake feels that it's 'Friday" 2. No school for me tomorrow 3. Enjoying my grandaughter's visit this week 4. My students are understanding the term accountability 5. It's the 5th day of spring!

I also wonder these things. Just before Timmy left us his eyes were partially open and kind of glazed over. There was no expression from him of seeing the light, etc. It was I who was doing all the talking telling him the names of all our family who he was going to be with. And then he passed very quietly without our really realizing it. As I think of it, I was reminded of how a baby's eyes look right at birth… the same glazed look. I see a big relationship between the process of being born and that of dying and I am guessing that we all go back to where we came from in the first place. A place pulsing with great energies. Timmy's passing away appeared to me to be just the opposite of being born into life. Quite a miracle to me, as it happends to all of us.

Are you following the funny story of the kid from NJ and his Numa Numa dance? (can google it for the story)

Lillian says it all as far as I'm concerned. Please re-read it and try to absorb:

A couple of enterprising bass players, unwilling to sit through a long, bass-less stretch of Beethoven's Ninth, sneaked off stage and into the bar next door. Beer flowed; time passed. "Look at the time! We have to get back!" said one. "Relax," said his partner, "I tied the last few pages of the conductor's score together with string. It will take him a few minutes to untangle it." They staggered back into the hall and took their places. About this time, a member of the audience noted that the conductor was breaking a sweat. "Of course," replied her companion, "It's the bottom of the Ninth, the score's tied, and the bassists are loaded". Thanks Dan Dan