patut

Mary, you have a right to feel as you do. It has only been less then a month for you. My daughter came over yesterday and burst into tears as it was Father's Day and she had so memories of her past Father's Days with her Dad. And it has been six months for us. I notice that the grief doesn't go away, but we learn to live with it in our own way. At least that's the way it is in our family. For me, each time I cry I think of it as an honor to his memory. Then it passes and I am able to move on. Another thing that helps me is to write down what I'm thinking - sometimes long epistles, and then shred it up so no one sees it. It's amazing how this helps. Just want you to know you are not alone with these feelings. I wish you the best! Cyndy

Hello Nancy. I am sorry you are going through this and sorry that your hubbie is so ill. I too went through this with my man and I keep thinking how sorry I am that he went through it too. There are things we can't control. I found solice in realizing that I was not alone going through it. This site has been a help to many. God bless you and help you through this difficult time.

I am so sorry. Have been in your place and know what you're going through. Prayers… Cyndy Timothy: 9/38-12/04

Carole, I am truly sorry. God be with you and your loved ones. Cyndy

Dean, I have been following you since I came on here and have often wondered if my Tim might have lived longer if he had chosen the path you did. The chemo made him so sick I feel like it helped shorten his life. I guess I'll never know. Love your attitude and descriptions. I hope the depression disappears very fast. You are some guy! My best to you, Cyndy

Ann, thank you for sharing your feelings about it. I am dreading even the first birthday in September when I will have to go through what you're feeling. At least there's some consolation in knowing that I'm not alone. I so miss not getting my hugs from my guy. Somehow I get through it- and it's only been 6 months for me). My best, Cyndy

Your wonderful Dad has joined my wonderful hubby in a special place where they are both safe. I am thinking of you and understand what you are going through. Love, Cyndy

Just want to report that I think the reason it's getting better for me is because I'm allowing it to happen. Tim passed five months ago December 19th and we laid him to his final rest on Thursday May 12th. We had a family 'celebration' of his life for three straight days and it was good. Now I am focusing on the interior of our home - having window trim put up, etc., things Tim just didn't have time to finish…even though he had 30 years (sound familiar?) I can't help but believe that he is having a hand in it all because it feels real good. So my point in posting my progress is to let others know that it is possible to go on in a meaningful way. I still have a good cry every couple of days, but I chock it up as an honor to him. I miss his presence. Cyndy

We all love you Frank. If more of us could have your attitude there would be more love in the world. Thanks for being you Frank!

My best to you and your son Peggy. Thinking of you. Cyndy

A while back someone shared a web site where one could light a cyber candle in memory of a loved one. Does anyone remember the web site? I've lost it. Patut Timothy: 9/38-12/04

Sending my best vibes for your son. Sorry this happened.

Thank you David. I am so sorry for your loss. My best to you and your family, Cyndy

That's excellent Charlie. Tim was going to get started on Alitma but never had a chance to even have his first treatment and I had to cancel his order for it. I'm so glad it's working for you.

Will be thinking of you Ginny. I'm one who will be doing some improvements to my home starting with a new front door. Sounds simple but is stressful because Tim was always a do-it-your-selfer and now I have to depend on someone else. I am excited about having a new front door that works well though. My best on your move. Cyndy

I even think David may have played a part in your decision to move close to your daughter. I can't help but feel that anywhere I am, Tim is always with me. I can feel him guiding me. It is very comforting to me. My best to you in your new move! Cyndy

Frank…lots of good vibes headed your way. You are the best!! Patut

Peggy. I have two wonderful sons and can imagine how you feel about your guy being ill. I'm sorry you are going through this and am sending all the good vibes I can. Hope he gets back to normal asap. Love, Cyndy

Hey Cathy! I remember when the Dr. mentioned the word hospice to my husband and me and we thought it was incredible. But you know what Cathy? It's really just another step in the path of life and it can actually be beneficial to you. I learned that hospice is here to give us the best quality of life possible. The hospice people even wish folks would choose to have them enter their lives sooner then most do - to give a longer good quality experience for the living. I offered this up to someone here once before and it scared the heck out of them so I removed my message. But I do believe it is a positive way for those who can do it. So Cathy, keep your chin up! Like my husband told one of my daughters: "It aint over yet honey". (((((((hugs Cathy)))))) Love, Cyndy

Thank you all who sent birthday greetings to me. It helped me to have a very good day and meant a lot. Words can not express how you folks have helped me through my own ordeal during Tim's illness and later into my own grieving process. You are an incredible bunch here. Gives me back my faith in humanity. Thanks again Cyndy

Sandy- lots of good vibes coming your way. Wishing you the best! Cyndy

Wow- can't believe I'm elegible for SS now. Anyway, I woke up happy, so things must be getting better for me. Everybody have a great day…I intend to.

Hi Peony. Yesterday marks four months since I lost my hubby age 66. Somehow I didn't dwell on it and was able to enjoy the nice weather. But I know what you are feeling. There are certain things that come up during a day that I don't expect and I have to take time out to have a cry time because I am reminded of our times together. Tomorrow is my birthday, my first since he's been gone and I am just thankful that I have a beautiful family to help me through it. So, you are not alone for sure. I do wish you the best. Cyndy

Thanks Katie. Just reading the TITLE of the topic in 'General Discussion' allows one to choose or not choose to read it. All of us are here for a reason and if we happen to help even one other person, it's worth it.

Continuing this on Fri…I love your positive feelings right now Snowflake. We do need lots of that. For me today it's the last day of school before spring break and I get to travel to see my kids 8 hours away for 4 days. A much needed vacation! Boston here I come!