henesey Posted March 7, 2006 Share Posted March 7, 2006 Hello, I have been caring for my mother in law since her diagnosis with cancer last spring. I am fortunate enough to consider her a wonderful friend as well. I am the family member who has had to coordinate information between the family members and health care professionals. I have alot of concerns regarding expectations during her final days. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bethluvswill13 Posted March 7, 2006 Share Posted March 7, 2006 Welcome Henesey!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ginnyde Posted March 7, 2006 Share Posted March 7, 2006 Welcome, Henesey. Let us know what your concerns are, we'll try and help you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Maryanne Posted March 7, 2006 Share Posted March 7, 2006 Hello Henesey and welcom here Sorry to hear the news about your MIL.. so sad. Please let us know what we can do to help you through this. We are hear to listen if you want to vent or just need prayers. Please tell us more about her and her diagnosis. Maryanne Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
henesey Posted March 8, 2006 Author Share Posted March 8, 2006 My MIL is one of the most couragous people I know. she is 5 foot zip pretends to be helpless but has a backbone of steel and faith to match. She fustrates the heck out of me because she is stuborn and we often butt heads because we are so much alike. Watching the way she has dealt with her cancer and her calm acceptance of Gods will has me in awe. I want to give her all the support she needs to do this her way. fortunatley I have the family support in this objective so the battle has only been with the professionals. It has been hard watching her fade away to skin and bones. I worry about how everyone else is dealing with it and know that they are all going to be basket cases when it happens and that I will have to pick up the pieces. I wonder about when I will find the time to grieve and pray daily that I won't crack until everyone is doing ok. Each of her friends has pulled me aside at some point asking how she is doing.She lives in a seniors apartment and is very popular. they cry and I have to be strong for now because that is what is needed. Once in a blue moon I find 5 minutes of privacy which I can indulge in self pity. I know how much I am going to miss her. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Don Wood Posted March 8, 2006 Share Posted March 8, 2006 Hi, and welcome! Care giver is a very tough job, but a very rewarding one. Hang in there. It would help if you would put a brief bio of your MIL's diagnosis and treatment on the bottom of your posts, so we can help with specific suggestions. Take advantage of the support here. Best to you. Don Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ry Posted March 8, 2006 Share Posted March 8, 2006 Welcome. I responded to your other post but did not give you a formal welcome. I am glad you found us. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RandyW Posted March 8, 2006 Share Posted March 8, 2006 Tell Us what info you need and we will do our best to get it for you. Welcome aboard. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Frantastic Posted March 8, 2006 Share Posted March 8, 2006 I'm a newbie too. With some of the same uncertainties. My introduction starts with "Daughter...". I'm available for "venting" whenever you need it. I hope to use this group for some support for myself, as well as my mom. You are now hereby forewarned! F. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
babesdaughter Posted March 8, 2006 Share Posted March 8, 2006 Good that you found this wonderful place.....you will find peace and comfort here. If you get a chance to pick up the book "Final Gifts", do so. It opened my eyes to so many things as my Mom approached her final journey. It made talking to her about it so much easier. Prayers for peace and strength for you. I'm sure you are a gift to your MIL..... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
henesey Posted March 8, 2006 Author Share Posted March 8, 2006 Thank you all for your warm welcome. I appreciate the chance to vent and feel free to download on me as well. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Don M Posted March 8, 2006 Share Posted March 8, 2006 Welcome Henesey: I hope you mother in law can continue to be comfortable. Don M Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chasebiz Posted March 8, 2006 Share Posted March 8, 2006 henesy, i have sclc and am going to cyberknife, but for the last 3 months i have been told all sorts of treatment as got so many consultations -note - i am on an alkaline diet and take immune vitamins & was ready to go to surgery this friday but last week read of cyberknife and malignant tumors- i had sent a history to miami cyberknife and they called to accept me, please look into this as cyberknife is also used as last resort,helps ease pain etc..i couldn't help reading your post -i am care taker of my mom and the poor thing has to eat what i do -she still cannot understand all my vitamins(she is 90)and is in total denial of my dx --please do this -it is an outpatient basis and sound too good to be true,please let me know,thank you & god bless, chase Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
trish2418 Posted March 8, 2006 Share Posted March 8, 2006 Welcome, Henesey. Praying for you and your MIL. Trish Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hollyanne Posted March 8, 2006 Share Posted March 8, 2006 Welcome. I am glad you found us. I can totally relate to the feeling of being strong for your mom's friends -- I did the same thing. I found that if I could find one person with whom I could really let go, it was very helpful -- and I have to say there is some strength that you do gain by being strong for her friends -- yet you have to find time to break down....this anticipatory grieving helps later on. Whatever your worries are about her final days, let us know. Many of us have been by our loved one's side when they left this earth. I was in bed with my mom. While you need to focus on getting your mom some good days, I completely understand the desire to know what the end is going to be like. Everyone has had different experiences, yet a peaceful passing is the most common. We are all here for you. I truly believe that being a caregiver is inspired by God...doing His work. It is tough, but you will NEVER regret it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mhutch1366 Posted March 9, 2006 Share Posted March 9, 2006 Hi Henesey and welcome! I wish there were more I could do for you... XOXOX MaryAnn Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bunny Posted March 9, 2006 Share Posted March 9, 2006 it's an awful lot to take on, isn't it!? stick around, I am glad you found us. welcome! xoxo amie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
melindasue37 Posted March 9, 2006 Share Posted March 9, 2006 I would like to say hello............and welcome to our group. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
J.C. Posted March 9, 2006 Share Posted March 9, 2006 Henesey, Welcome, Many of your questions will find an answer on this forum. Your MIL is lucky to have you by her side, hard for you but also hard on her, she sounds like a proud woman. The road is rocky, but rewarding for a caregiver there is always inner strength, much more than you think and it helps along the way. Did you try to give some Ensure in her diet to slow down the weight loss?. Hugs Jackie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Linda661 Posted March 10, 2006 Share Posted March 10, 2006 I just want to say welcome as a fellow caregiver. Your MIL is so lucky to have you in her corner. I am pretty new here myself and I think you will find these great folks a big help in your journey and what you can do to help MIL in the best way possible. Linda Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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