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Hello all,

I'm here, I've been reading almost every day but just haven't had the strength or courage to write anything. I didn't want to post anything negative and bring people down or worry anyone, and I guess I haven't really felt anything too positive lately. I have been struggling, and it seems to get so much harder as time goes on. I just miss my Keith so much!! Life is just spinning out of control and I am so simply miserable. It's been a really hard couple of weeks here. I know I posted on Keith's birthday, but in addition last week was our wedding anniversary. It would have been 7 years. 9/25/1999.

God this just hurts so bad, it won't ever end. I had the greatest love I could ever have imagined and now without him I have less than nothing. And I think my love for him still grows every day, and it makes it all the more painful.

I just can't do this. People keep telling me I'm strong. I'm not strong, I'm breaking. I'm tired of people telling me I'm strong because it is more like a justification for them to treat me like nothing has happened and like I'm ok I can handle it. I'm not ok, I can't handle this. I want someone to hold me in their lap, hug me and make it go away even if for just a few minutes. I want someone to take care of me for just one moment so I don't have to be strong for that moment for once. I don't want to be strong anymore; I just too tired and too hurt.

Sorry to cry and burden anyone. I guess this is why I haven't posted lately.

I love you all, and I have been reading and praying for each and everyone here. Please know how much I truly care.

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Please never feel that you are a burden! I know the awfulness of deep, soul wrenching pain!

You know what, it's ok to break down, just make sure you have people who care about you around, whether it be in person, and even here!

My mom, still breaks down, my dad has been gone for over a year now. Sometimes I forget, but reality brings me back to the pain

I won't give you the "Hallmark" cliches -----

Just don't do anything to hurt yourself....

I know that you can't physically feel all of our (((hugs))), but if my arms could reach across the country.....

Please, I'm here for you...along with so many others...


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Carleen--We give you permission to be as weak as you feel... You don't HAVE to be strong. When you lose someone as amazing as Keith the strength just can be popped out of you.... You are allowed to be a big pile of goo here.

I think if we could all of us would take turns just hugging you and letting you cry... I hope in some ways our words do do that.

We care, and we hurt for you.



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One moment at a time!

I empathize with you. My brother is going through much the same thing, although it is different as he has not lost a spouse thrugh death but through a divorce he does not want. I know you are adrift in a sea of grief. It's ok to post here; that's what the GRIEVING forum is for!

Do not worry about being a downer. That is why we are all here, to support one another.

I so wish I could give you your wish. Consider a cyber hug across Lake Michigan in its place. (((((((((((((((HUG)))))))))))))))))

~Karen in Michigan

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