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issues with diagnosis


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Hi all

Just joined and need some help and support if poss.

My grandfather has had a diagnosis of lung cancer, a huge tumor with secondary cancers around his body including brain and liver, incurable apparently but perhaps treatable?

He is 86 and had been active until recent months, seemingly this cancer has been pretty aggressive to cause such a rapid deterioration.

He has lost the use of his right leg and is weakening.

The hosp are performing a biopsy today to determine the type of cancer and if there are any treatments available to prolong his life and quality remaining.

As a family we understand this is terminal and probably just a matter of time, but without experience have little concept of what happens and likely outcomes.

I've tried to explain to his wife my grandmother this is the worse news we could've had today, but she seems optimistic, do they give potentially invasive stuff like chemo or radio theropy to elderly patients?

Any member can help with insights pls post.

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Yes is the answer. It acctually would depend on how serious I think. I am not sure though. We have had some here that have had some success for some time with Chemo. Onc should know for sure. Never give up and Try to think positive. Let us know and sending prayers tonite!!

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Having joined here recently myself I havent any words of wisdom in terms of the medical aspect. I would only offer dont be too hard on your Grandmother not seeing things as the worst.

You weren't told he passed away today.

You still have precious moments to create. Sometimes in this battle you have to see the positive in the seemingly impossible.

Best to you and your family. You will find loads of support here. Poeple care and you can always express your feelings.

Beat it!!

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Toon, for starters, I am very sorry. This can all be very overwhelming, and I think it is great that you are stepping up to understand what is ahead of you and your family.

I am not medical, and only God has the final say, but I have just gone through this with my mother. You can see the timeline in my signature below for an idea, but everyone is different.

My advice would be listen to your grandfather's wishes, be supportive. Treat every day not as a vigil, but as a wonderful gift. Even when we are well we should do that, but now is the time to really realize it.

And if you have specific questions, or just need to vent, we are here.

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Thanks for the warm welcome :)

I've been at hosp all morning and got to speak to the dr alone, she confirmed my worse fears.

Doesn't look as much can be done bar making him comfortable, cancer is inoperable, advanced and widespread throughout his body, a chest dr is coming today to discuss biopsy, a specialist is also coming to discuss treatment options but his dr thinks the treatment could be worse than the cancer and perhaps he is not strong enough yet.

Dr was optimistic he would be able to go home with support once his condition has 'plateaued'.

Going now to pick up my grandmother and take her into visit, it will be a relief for her if Grandpa can come home, she is very frail and the trips to hosp are too much.

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I'm sorry that this is happening.

I know it is so soon, but the way things sound, perhaps you should talk to the hospital's hospice folks...it is better to get them involved early...your grandpa can meet them, feel reassured and then they will go away until needed.

It might just ensure your grandfathers comfort and be a good support for ou and the rest of the family knowing there are professionals which are trained to help at times like these.

We never got the chance to use hospice...but Mom felt good knowing it was going to be there if she needed it.

Again, I am very sorry.

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  • 3 weeks later...

An update :(

My grandpa passed away just before 9pm this evening.

He was released from hospital a week last Friday, he was stronger, was doing his transfers from chair to wheelchair to bed supervised though mostly unaided.

Homecare was in place, he was in good spirits and very talkative.

He then started 4 days of scheduled radio theropy on Tuesday, he quickly weakened and by Thurday he was worse than when he was first admitted a fortnight earlier.

I got a call from my grandmother on the early hours of Friday to help move him from his commode to his bed, once there I rang the emergency dr and an ambulence was called, he was admitted with a chest infection, his blood pressure was low and his pulse weak.

He rallied a little through Friday, but was weak again on saturday, dr said he was not responding to anti bios late on Sat.

Early hours Sun family were called in to hosp, his kidneys were failing, a secondary cancer had spread there.

We spent the day looking at him unconsious on morphene, his meds were stopped and we were told it would be over in hours.

He did not regain consciousness and slipped away peacefully with his daughter(my auntie) at his side, other daughter (my mum) was with my grandma at home, she was shattered after spending all day there.

So 3 weeks after the diagnosis it's all over :(

Thanks for the support, I've been too busy organising logistics and at hosp to post regularly, though I have read many threads and links which have been very helpful.

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My deepest sympathies and condolences tonight after hearing this news. Send Prayers and Big warm fuzzy blankets from the dryer for comfort.

IF you need us for anyhting please know tht we are here for you and family. Just because He is gone does not mean this is over. If we can help just post or if you need to vent by all means go ahead.

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My deepest sympathies goes out to you and your family. Take care of your grandmother, she is going to need a lot of support, as this had happened so fast and probably unexpected.

Peace to you all. I am so sorry for your loss.

Maryanne :wink:

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