kamataca Posted December 17, 2006 Share Posted December 17, 2006 So Mom made it through gamma knife on the 7th, and recovered well. She's an amazing trooper. She got socked again this week. Her primary has grown by 54%, and they suspect it is spreading in other areas as well. The Gemzar ian't working, which is a shame because she has tolerated it very well. PET scans next week to determine what we are dealing with. I know I have to bury the guilt, but because I had taken so much time off lately regarding the gamma (visits to the neurosurgeon, radiataion onc, and the procedure itself), I didn't go to this app't with her. We thought this would be a 'routine' onc. visit. My DH said this week that we have to assume that there is no more routine, and we need to make sure there is always someone there with Mom in the future. She was just crushed--this caught her so off guard. They are starting her on Altima on the 20th. I've searched the site, and it seems like this will be trickier for her than the Gemzar was. I know we have to keep attacking, but I am so saddened that they are starting this right before Christmas. I just pray that she bounces back before Christmas Eve. She's been so sad--the dr is trying a new anti-depressant for her. The last two made her so sick, but I can't stand to think of her, alone and down at her house from the time I leave until the kids come over the next morning. She's been very weepy, which is completely unlike her. I just feel like I'm losing my grip this week. I can't keep up with the kids' basketball games, Christmas programs, spending time with Mom, Christmas parties, all that closing out a semester at school entails, Christmas shopping, etc. I know it will all get better--just feels hard right now. Kelly Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Don Wood Posted December 17, 2006 Share Posted December 17, 2006 It IS hard. You have a lot of things going. And you have a wise DH there to support you. Hang in there. Don Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Connie22 Posted December 17, 2006 Share Posted December 17, 2006 The guilt thing can be unbearable, especially with everything else that is going on. You have been there for everything else, please be easy on yourself. I still carry some guilt and what if's and believe me it is starting to make me ill. As caregivers we need to remember to be kind to ourselves. Take care Kelly and if you ever need a shoulder please feel free to PM me. I don't have alot of answers but I have been there. Hugs and Prayers Connie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ztweb Posted December 17, 2006 Share Posted December 17, 2006 Oh Kelly...I am so sorry things are so hard. You have my prayers for a blessed holiday...why not invite mom to be at your house for the night! There is nothing like snuggles on Christmas Eve. God bless, Jen Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Don M Posted December 17, 2006 Share Posted December 17, 2006 Kelly, I am sorry your mom had progression. I hope the new antidepressant helps her. I had 4 rounds of alimta and found that the fatigue hit me on the 3rd day. The dexamethasone held it at bay for the first 2 days. You are supposed to take folic acid for a period of time, I can't remember exactly what it was, maybe 2 weeks before the first infusion and every day during treatment and for a period of time after treatment. You are also supposed to have a vitamin B12 shot before infusion and another after 6 weeks as I recall. I did not get sick much from the alimta, but I did have fatigue and some sob. I hope you all have a merry Christmas in spite of the setback. Don M Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ry Posted December 17, 2006 Share Posted December 17, 2006 I am sorry to hear about your mom's set back. I hope the Alimta works for her. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Treebywater Posted December 17, 2006 Share Posted December 17, 2006 Kelly, I just hate to hear this news. I'm so sorry to hear that there has been progression. And I'm so sorry that you are so overwhelmed--and who wouldn't be with all that is going on... Don't forget to breathe. What I can tell you about Alimta is that it's really different for everybody. For some people it's a piece of cake--really! For others, it's more difficult. My one caveat about Alimta is to listen to your gut with the symptoms it may cause... If it's a 'socker' to a person, it can really weaken a person to a point where the body has a hard time rebounding much less fighting the cancer so KEEP TALKING to your Mom's doctors all the way through and keep a good eye on things. However--it can also do very, very good things. Sometimes it does so while being relatively tolerable. Other times, it's not such a walk in the park, but it gets the job done. (((((hugs))))) to you and keep us posted on your Mom.... and don't forget to be gentle with yourself. That is so important in all of this. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tkelley Posted December 17, 2006 Share Posted December 17, 2006 Kelly, So sorry to hear about your mom's latest news. It hurts to see them hurt and scared. My dad starts Alimta right after Christmas....I'll keep her and your family in my prayers as they take the Alimta journey together...Hang in there Tammy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shar Posted December 17, 2006 Share Posted December 17, 2006 Sorry to hear of your mum's progression Kelly. It is a full on time of year and this just makes it harder to cope with I'm sure. I will be thinking of you both and hope that Alimta works for your mum. Sharon Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
trish2418 Posted December 17, 2006 Share Posted December 17, 2006 You and your mom are in my prayers. Trish Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mamasbabygirl Posted December 17, 2006 Share Posted December 17, 2006 OH Kelly, I am so sorry to hear that you are so overwhelmed. I hope you can find some time to focus on the joy of Christmas with your mom and kids and let everything else go.. I will also say a prayer that the Alimta kicks the cancer's behind and is not too harsh on your mom. Hang in there girl and have a merry merry Christmas. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Welthy Posted December 17, 2006 Share Posted December 17, 2006 Kelly, So sorry about your Mom's progression --- damn cancer!!!!! I just hate it when a treatment doesn't help and you feel farther behind the eight-ball than before. It does get scarier each time these things happen. I hope you are able to find some peace in the upcoming days and that the new plan will score big for your Mom. It's a difficult time, but we all have to hang tough -- we have no choice. I hope your Mom gets through the next few weeks in better spirits. Welthy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sharyn Posted December 18, 2006 Share Posted December 18, 2006 Prayer for your strength to help Mom get through this latest hurdle.... and extra prayers for a blessed Christmas Eve for you all.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dchurchi Posted December 18, 2006 Share Posted December 18, 2006 Kelly, Sorry you and your family are dealing with all this right now. Your Mom has been such a fighter and I believe she will fight again. I can not offer any advice on her new treatments, but I can offer you many many prayers. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kreed70 Posted December 18, 2006 Share Posted December 18, 2006 Kelly, I am so sorry to hear about the progression! My mom is on Alimta now as well after there was progression. She is doing well with it! Her first treatment really kicked her butt! She was so tired about 3-4 days after and it lasted for about 5 days BUT the next two treatments were much, much better!! She takes Decadron the day before, the day of and the day after. I was very worried about the Alimta after hearing really bad things but that hasn't been our experience. I pray that yours will be good too! Keep me posted!! Kelly Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ann Posted December 18, 2006 Share Posted December 18, 2006 Kelly...I'm so very sorry to hear that your mom isn't doing so well right now. Just remember that this disease is full of ups and downs. Receiving bad news is terrible at any given time but this time of the year bad news seems to be so much worse. Don't you dare beat yourself up for one single minute for not making it to her appointment. You're such a loving and caring daughter and feelings of guilt should never enter your're mind. Right now, just take a few deep breaths and know that things will settle down for you as soon as all this holiday rush is over. Thank goodness that school should be out in a couple of days. Remember that we're all saying prayers and sending good thoughts for your mom! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
adela Posted December 20, 2006 Share Posted December 20, 2006 Kelly You have a new"normal". This year you don't have to do it all. The Christmas Parties, the baking, the cleaning, the gift buying(buy the gifts for the kids and possibly keep it to one or two don't drive yourself nuts)the Christmas cards, the big dinner you don't have to do it all. If you host Christmas Day dinner get someone else to do it. You need a breather.....you need some Kelly time. Adela Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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