shineladysue Posted December 23, 2006 Share Posted December 23, 2006 I know I just wasn't prepared for this kind of paralyzing pain that has hit me this first Christmas without Mike. I find myself just paralyzed with grief. It's especially hard because I am waiting for my own biopsy reports from my d&c that I had this past Monday. I just want to everyone here to know that you are in my prayers. Hold your family and friends close to you and realize just how precious they are. Merry Christmas and God Bless you all. Love, Sue Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jana_W Posted December 23, 2006 Share Posted December 23, 2006 Sue Big hugs to you. This will be a hard Christmas for you. I hope there are some OK moments for you amongst it all. We all understand. Love Jana xxxx Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kasey Posted December 23, 2006 Share Posted December 23, 2006 My prayer, (((Sue))), is that somehow ~ someway ~ you will feel Mike with you......guiding you through this very difficult leg of the journey. I hope you know I have been thinking of you.....sending you cyber encouragement and love. May your heart be full with many wonderful memories of your years with Mike this season. Love, Kasey Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ginnyde Posted December 23, 2006 Share Posted December 23, 2006 Sue, your emotions have to be working overtime. I still have moments when I feel incapable of continuing. I had a bc scare a few months ago and I know that I became a babbling idiot. With waiting for your own results and having this first Christmas without your sweetheart is very stressful. I hope you have family and friends that will rally 'round you and give you some moments of joy. We will all be thinking about you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Treebywater Posted December 23, 2006 Share Posted December 23, 2006 (((((Sue))))) Wish I could come be with you and sip some tea and cry together. Know that I'm sending you love and gentleness and praying for some pockets of peace. Look for the light in the darkness, Sue... and know we're all holding a little of it for you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Don Wood Posted December 23, 2006 Share Posted December 23, 2006 Sue, I'm right there with you. I was wondering why I wasn't feeling much of anything and I realized the body has gone numb -- I guess, to protect me from all the pain. I'm hanging in there -- hang in there with me. Don Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ma's kid Posted December 23, 2006 Share Posted December 23, 2006 Just wanted to give you a hug..((((Sue)))) Libby Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tnmynatt Posted December 23, 2006 Share Posted December 23, 2006 (((((((SUE))))))) Praying for you! Try to stay busy and keep family and friends around you...that's my plan. Merry Christmas. Love ya, girlfriend. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Patkid Posted December 24, 2006 Share Posted December 24, 2006 ((((Sue))))) Oh, honey, hang on to my heart. Love P Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RandyW Posted December 24, 2006 Share Posted December 24, 2006 With crossed paws and hands we are sending you some heavy prayers for peace and comfort and good news. I know how hard this is now without the ones we love. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ann Posted December 24, 2006 Share Posted December 24, 2006 ((((((((((((((((((Sue)))))))))))))))))) I'm here for you and share your pain. Please know that I'm thinking of you and understanding just where your are! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Frank Lamb Posted December 24, 2006 Share Posted December 24, 2006 Sue,I can't but only imagine how difficult this must be for you and the others that have lost their spouse or loved ones to have to go thru this. Hang in there best you can.Our thoughts and prayers are with you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shineladysue Posted December 24, 2006 Author Share Posted December 24, 2006 To all my friends here, Thank you. Sometimes, when life just gets too rough and grief overwhelms me, I know I can come here, share the burden and there is always someone who understands. I don't feel so alone then and it helps. Thank you for being here for me. I will continue to do my best to be there for all of you. God Bless you all. Love, Sue Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Maryanne Posted December 24, 2006 Share Posted December 24, 2006 I can feel you pain through you post. I am so sorry for what you are feeling. I pray all is well with the results. Everything crossed here. I hope you have family to help you through this difficult holiday season. Maryanne Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EastCoastLadi Posted December 24, 2006 Share Posted December 24, 2006 (((Sue))) I'm sending out my HUGS to you today....wishing you all the best Christmas and for a positive outcome with your reports. Grace Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stand4hope Posted December 25, 2006 Share Posted December 25, 2006 Dear Sue, I didn't know whether to post here or on Katie's thread. I so much understand what you are feeling. I went through my first Christmas last year, but I swear I don't remember feeling as despondent and depressed as I have this year. I guess last year I was still numb. I am truly normally the most bubbling happy Christmas idiot on earth, but I can tell you that I hated EVERYTHING about Christmas this year. I hated the music, the lights, the sounds, the movies, the stores, the TV ads, even going to church. I just hated all of it. I had to force myself to put up decorations this year, and as I was preparing my Christmas meal for my family today, I wept almost continually and resented that I was having to do any of it. I always play Christmas CDs. As I was peeling potatoes, "I'll have a Blue Christmas without you" drove me to the stereo where I angrily shut it off and unplugged it. I have never been a despondent person, but I can tell you I was oozing with despondence and the paralyzing pain you describe. I didn't want to see any of my family, I didn't care about Christmas, I didn't care about any of it. I just wanted it all to go away. I wanted to just crawl in bed and wake up in the spring. My sister came early to help, and I think she sensed my sadness. We cried together - she understands. Remarkably, and also by the grace of God, I actually enjoyed myself tonight - A LOT! We had a great time togther and after everyone left, for some reason I felt a lift in my spirit. I knew I was going to be ok, and that Mike is going to be ok. I knew that God is alive and He is giving me exactly what I need when I need it. I realized that this past month was just another phase in this horrible experience called grief. Tonight, I will close my eyes and for the first time all month truly feel like saying, "Merry Christmas, Everybody" and "Happy Birthday, dear Jesus!" Sue, you wrote this post this morning. It's now almost midnight. I pray that by now, or sometime tomorrow, that the same thing that happened to me tonight, and to Katie, will grip you and give you reasons to know that everything is going to be ok. God is with you - He really is! No matter what your test results are, he really and truly is with you. If He can pull me out of where I was, He can pull you out of it, too! Merry Christmas, Sue, and all my love, Peggy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
J.C. Posted December 25, 2006 Share Posted December 25, 2006 Sue, It is now my fourth Christmas without my Mike, how I survived them, I don't know, I miss him as much now and even more than on my first Christmas alone. I survived them, as you will and will be able in the years to come to even have a smile thinking of them because you won't be alone he will be with you. Love Jackie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shineladysue Posted December 25, 2006 Author Share Posted December 25, 2006 Several of you have said you feel my pain. I know you do. I just want you to know that I feel your love. I'm sending my love and hugs back to all of you. Whether you lost someone, are a caregiver for someone or a cancer patient yourself, the holidays come with many mixed emotions. One thing I have learned is that although the pain seems to be more intense on those days, the love seems to be intensified as well. I'm praying for all of you . God Bless. Love and Prayers on this Christmas 2006, Sue Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
applewe Posted December 25, 2006 Share Posted December 25, 2006 this is my first Christmas alone as well. My husband died Nov 14, 2006. I am so thankful for a strong faith and loving family and friends. as you stated so well, there is no way to prepare for the pain, the emptiness, or deep sorrow. My prayers are with you today. May god surround you with His strong arms of love and give you and extra measure of strength to get through this very tough time. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RandyW Posted December 25, 2006 Share Posted December 25, 2006 Dryer is cranking out Warm blanketsd for all of us here today without the ones we love the most. Peace and Love and Big bear hugs for strength!!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Maryanne Posted December 28, 2006 Share Posted December 28, 2006 Thinking of you Sue.... and still praying for good results from you tests. Maryanne Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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