jackieb410 Posted February 11, 2007 Share Posted February 11, 2007 On Nov. 19 they told my mom she had two months to live. She lived 2 months 9 days. I feel so empty and lost. I know that I should be grateful that she didn't suffer very long. But I wanted her to be here a least a year. I wanted her to prove them wrong. On Jan. 28 she was still fighting her battle with LC but was not eating, drinking or waking up. Hospice was saying that a normal person would have passed away already. I thought maybe she was waiting for me to tell her it was okay to die. So I had my sister put the phone to her ear and I told her that I loved her and that I would miss her but that it was okay to leave us now. I told her that I would see her again in heaven some day. An hour later my sister called me back crying saying mom passed away. She told me about 10 minutes after that phone call her heart stopped and that she was still trying to breath. So they all stood around her and prayed and told her to stop fighting. They said she relaxed and gave her final breath. My brother (who's been sober for 60 days now) said she looked at peace. I cried so hard but I knew that I had set her free from her earthly body. She wasn't in pain anymore. I flew out for the funeral and stayed with my sister and we actually became pretty close through all this. She says she's going to call me whenever she was going to call mom. I told her I'd call her too. There is an emptiness inside me and I feel like I need something. Eating isn't helping. It doesn't fill the hole I have now. I just need to let time heal my heart and pray for strength. I want to be as strong as my mom. She handled so much in life as a single mom. I'm lucky to have a loving husband that helps me with our kids and that I can be a stay at home mom. I just want to make my mom proud of me by being a great mom to my kids. This loss is hard. It makes me think of my own mortality. I look at my two girls and think about how someday they'll have to go through what I'm going through. I wish I could spare them that pain but I know that if I do my job right they'll be strong women that will be able to handle anything. God be with all of your hearts as they heal from the pain of loss. Jackie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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