markguilloz Posted May 23, 2007 Share Posted May 23, 2007 Hi Everyone, It's been more than a year since I have visited the site. Anyone remember me? Leslie221's husband, Mark. Leslie passed away January 20th 2006 with BAC. I guess I desired to leave all this behind, anything to do with cancer. Wanted it out of my life, no word mentioned of it. So I dissapeared from sight for a time. Now I find myself reflecting, seeing my wife in my minds eye so much. I feel her many times, many days. I don't know why, but here I am coming back to this community. I sense Leslie desiring of me to check in, provide updates and to support anyone who may be experiencing what Leslie and I went through. So that's all. Just checking in. If anyone remebers me, I will be so happy to hear how you are. Take care, Mark Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Treebywater Posted May 23, 2007 Share Posted May 23, 2007 Mark, I DO remember you, and I've been remembering your Leslie a lot lately and thinking of you as well. I miss her posts, her positivity, her adventurous spirit, and everything that she was for us here. Thank you so much for the update. Your Leslie left such an impact on this community... Val Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Connie B Posted May 23, 2007 Share Posted May 23, 2007 Hey Mark, you bet I remember you. It seems like yesterday that we lost our dear friend Leslie. Where does the time go. I totally get that you just wanted to hide from lung cancer issues or anything connected to it. (((MARK)) So very nice to hear from you! I hope things are going well for you. Please if you find a minute let us know how your doing and what you've been up too. I have to share with you that come Spring, I think of Leslie and her planting her flowers. (sigh) She's really missed by many of us. We've lost so many wonderful friends. It sure is good to hear from you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RandyW Posted May 23, 2007 Share Posted May 23, 2007 glad to hear from you MarkG!! hoping you are well and thanks for popping in. Hope all is ok with you these days. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kasey Posted May 23, 2007 Share Posted May 23, 2007 For SURE I remember you, Mark, as MANY do. I SO miss Leslie! If you remember ~ Leslie and I spoke on the phone from time to time AND she sent me some humorous cards......even a postcard from the Vatican. And I tell you, I MISS her so much. Last fall I walked in a LUNGevity fundraiser and made a 'special' sweatshirt to wear. I had Leslie's picture on the front with 2 other very special friends from the board. Are you still in CO working with the windmills? You have no idea how my heart soared when I spotted your post. Hope you are doing well and update us on how things have gone for you this past year+. You have many friends here. Kasey Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ginnyde Posted May 23, 2007 Share Posted May 23, 2007 Mark, so glad to see you. What I remember most is your wonderful trip to Italy. Bring us up to date on you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Don Wood Posted May 23, 2007 Share Posted May 23, 2007 Welcome back, Mark. I am 8 months from my loss -- still in the first year. Will be glad when that milestone has passed. Don Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
markguilloz Posted May 23, 2007 Author Share Posted May 23, 2007 Hi, Well I am touched deeply. I had no idea, wrong!, I had some idea that there would be those here that would be happy to hear from me. Leslie's garden...........well, things didn't come to fruition like we (Kim Chase, John Hamilton and I) had wished . The "cowboy bar" next door was no help at all to allow us to put the garden between thier building and the post office (Leslie's work place), so the idea fizzled out. Kim still wants to do something, but not too sure what. Leslie does have a tree planted with her ashes in Placerville, CA. in the front yard of her life long friend, Sally. Sally says the tree is doing wonderful. We had doubts the tree would fare well when first planted as it was so very hot last June when I met with Sally to bury Leslie's ashes with the tree. But Leslie being as strong willed and stubborn (in a wonderful way) as she was, must have made sure (her) tree would thrive. I am very well now. I am convinced that Leslie fullfilled her wish for me to not be alone and have a companion to take care of me. I met a wonderful lady at greif support last year after Leslie's passing. He name is Kathy, or actually Kathleen. Kathy lost her husband to Pnemonia (not sure spelled right) April 05. We shared a mutual sense of great loss and loneliness, and gravitated to one another profoundly. Many thought we were rushing into things, but many do not understand loss of a soul mate, those who have not lost someone that was your absolute other half. We married last October and are now so happy together. I do think of, and feel Leslie every single day. I get tingles all through my body at times I cannot describe. Have heard the feeling is a loved ones presence. Leslie did say she would be around me. So, to her very last moments here, she reiterated for me to not be alone. I sincerily feel she brought Kathy and I together. I have Italy pictures on my computer at work. I look at them almost everyday. I usually only look at the ones of Leslie. She is looking back at me, into my eyes. I hear her voice, I feel her, she is here, at least in part. I sense her being everywhere, and I KNOW I'll see her again. She is only around the bend of the path ahead. I glimpse her at times. Thanks for the response. I feel overwhelmed in a wonderful way. I will continue to correspond. And if anyone needs to talk about greif, experience or whatever, I am here. Love you all, Mark Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jyoung20 Posted May 23, 2007 Share Posted May 23, 2007 It's so good to hear from you Mark!!!! I still have my postcard from Rome. I could never forget Leslie. She was and still inspires me!! God's peace!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
carolhg Posted May 23, 2007 Share Posted May 23, 2007 Hello Mark, So good to see you back. Of course I remember you. I also remember your pain when you/we lost Leslie. I am so very happy for you and Kathy and I wish you both the very best of health and life. Carol Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Calintay Posted May 23, 2007 Share Posted May 23, 2007 Mark I remember you also. I hope you are hanging in there! Please come any time to update date us or for our support. We are hear not only for the Pts but the caregivers as well. It is so hard to believe it has been a year. I am praying for you. Heidi Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gail Posted May 24, 2007 Share Posted May 24, 2007 I still have Leslie's PMs in my mailbox. I think of her every time I open my mailbox. A friend of mine died in 99 of breast cancer leaving a husband and 3 little boys to grieve. At the same time, one of their neighbors died of colon cancer, leaving a wife and 3 children. Did you guess it? The spouses married 2 years ago. I know Karen would be pleased. And Leslie would be happy for you too. gail Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sheri Posted May 24, 2007 Share Posted May 24, 2007 How absolutely wonderful to hear from you. Leslie's departure was devastating to us, but nothing compared to your loss. I'm glad you have found a new companionship. You obviously haven't replaced her, you still care and love her deeply, as demonstrated by your posting here. I hope Karen helps heal the pain, Leslie would want that. Good luck to you and thanks for checking in! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ry Posted May 24, 2007 Share Posted May 24, 2007 Mark- Welcome back. This is so weird, I was just reading an old post of Leslie's the other day and thought of bringing it up for everyone to read (I might yet). Anyway, I wondered how you were doing- thanks for updating us. I am glad you are doing well. Rochelle Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Geri Posted May 24, 2007 Share Posted May 24, 2007 I was thinking of you the other day and wondered how you were faring. I think of Leslie often and miss her insight and fun posts. I will never forget Leslie, she died on my birthday which made a special place in my life for her. I'm so pleased that you are doing well and that you are happy again, I'm sure Leslie would be pleased. Take care and don't be a stranger. Geri Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
j ross Posted May 24, 2007 Share Posted May 24, 2007 I still think of Leslie and miss her posts. Jennie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shineladysue Posted May 24, 2007 Share Posted May 24, 2007 Hi Mark, Of course, I remember you. I'm so very happy for you. I truly believe that Leslie would have wanted you and Kathy to be together. I've been thinking about Leslie a lot lately, as many have. She had such an incredibly positive attitude and a wonderful sense of humor. I remember the picture of her making the fish face... lol . A part of her still lives on in the pages of this site. She was just a beautiful person. Thanks for checking in and know that we are still here for you. Sue Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
melindasue37 Posted May 24, 2007 Share Posted May 24, 2007 Hi Mark, I was just thinking about Leslie the other day when there was a new member named Leslie. I saw the signature on the post and immediately thought of your Leslie. It is nice to see you are doing well... and welcome back Melinda Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
markguilloz Posted May 24, 2007 Author Share Posted May 24, 2007 Good day everyone, And it is a beautiful day in Colorado. The sun is shining, birds are chirping, cool temperatures and I am finding much wonderful love from everyone here. I cannot believe the response to my checking in with all. many are saying they were just recently thinking of Leslie and I. All I can say is Leslie is here, and she too wanted to say hi through me, to you. It must be, for I had no intention to check in yesterday, but suddenly, some how, for some reason did so. I come in this morning to work, and I find so many more responses. I amazed and very touched, Thank you. Yes I do think of, and feel Leslie every single day. I will always have the special reserved space in my heart for her while here, this temporary place we all reside called Earth. Leslie wrote me a poem when we first met. I don't know word for word the poem from memory, but do have it at home, and can share her exact words later. But what I do remember says this: "We have circled one another for eternity, meeting, being together, separating and coming together again and again". Leslie is (from my perception) a very old soul. Leslie has intuition beyond anyone I have ever known. Leslie loves all creatures, and pursues to help and assist all who suffer here on this planet, at this time. And I really mean that. My home still has many four legged creatures as a result of he compassion for any and all refugees, hurt and lonely souls. I remember Leslie seeing a lonely homeless man on Christmas eve in Mojave, California. We were heading home. When she saw this man, alone, from a distance while we drove by where he sat, Leslie demanded we turn around to help him. And so I did, and Leslie met with the man, asked him what she could do for him. We gave hime enough money to insure he could at least have a decent meal on Christmas eve. That is just one small example of the hundreds of compassionate traits Leslie possesed, and would pursue to help anyone and everyone she possibly could. So, with that said, my heart still aches, I do so miss my Leslie. But I know, without any doubt I will again see her beyone the bend of this path we all follow. Thank you for the tremendous response. I know Leslie is pleased. I know she is aware you all are feeling her. Leslie wanted me to do this, to continue to interact with you on this site. She asked me to. But I couldn't for some time. It just hurt to much to continue to discuss. I had to distance myself from cancer, from the extreme pain. And I knew one day I would be able to come back, but didn't know when, as none of us do know when, where or what our future will bring. Well I have returned, as I feel has Leslie, through me. I will stay in touch. And do so look forward to the day I can meet, in person many of you. Mark Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alisa Posted May 24, 2007 Share Posted May 24, 2007 Mark, how can any of us ever forget Leslie! I loved her posts and her picture with the fish lips always brought a smile to my face. It's so nice of you to check in on us and I hope you are well. I can't imagine how much you must miss Leslie, as I was only a cyber buddy and I miss her. Best regards, Alisa Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
P.S. I Love You Posted May 24, 2007 Share Posted May 24, 2007 Hi, Mark- Who could forget Leslie! She was like a nova. A star that suddenly appeared and shone very brightly. Being a Postmaster, I was immediately drawn to her postings. I wanted to send her a hello, but was still lurking before becoming a member. I glad and touched to hear that she is still with you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mhutch1366 Posted May 24, 2007 Share Posted May 24, 2007 Mark, Glad you popped in. A time for remembering.... So very happy you have found someone special. Sure, I miss Leslie's posts.... miss so many who are gone now. Life is but richer for their presence. Don't forget about us now, you won't get off as easiy next time! MaryAnn Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
barbara5452 Posted May 25, 2007 Share Posted May 25, 2007 Mark, sorry you have to be back, looks as though you have a lot of support and people who do remember you. Sorry let I did not have the opportunity to know Leslie sounds like a she was a lovely lady. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
J.C. Posted May 27, 2007 Share Posted May 27, 2007 I remember Leslie very well, and often think of her and her way of opening her heart and door to four legged friends. Glad you are back. Hugs Jackie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Flowergirlie Posted May 29, 2007 Share Posted May 29, 2007 I think it is so nice that you have come here to be a support as well as to reflect with others who were dear to Leslie and likewise. I am new in the grief process myself. Welcome back. Peace...Flowergirlie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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