Nova Posted September 8, 2007 Share Posted September 8, 2007 Harry was diagnosed 8 months ago. During that time, I've watched the cancer not only steal his health, but it seems his soul also. He was never, in the almost 18 years we've been married, much of a "talker", but it's gotten to the point now, where he has withdrawn so far into himself, that he rarely speaks. I've had a hard time not taking it personally, and getting my feelings hurt, but I know it's not just me. The nurses at the hospital asked me if he was always so dis-interested in his treatment and condition. My daughter cried after she tried talking to him - he barely responded. The men he worked with call to invite him to go fishing, or just to talk, to see how he is, and he won't return their calls. Our 14 year old son, Jacob, decided not to play on the football team this year, in order to spend more time with Harry. Being only 14, and an exceptionally GOOD football player, it touched my heart that he was mature enough to realize what was more important. I feel sorry for him, because his dad doesn't seem to know he exists most times. It makes me angry, although I know that must sound mean. He won't talk to the doctor. I suggested maybe he could get some medication for depression, and he said he was alright... I miss my husband..... I miss him coming home from work and telling me long stories about what he built that day , and me not having the faintest idea what he was talking about, but acting very interested anyway, because it made him happy! I miss going to watch our son play football, and Harry getting all excited and saying "That's my boy", when Jacob would score a touchdown. I miss laughing at him when he couldn't keep the names of my daughter's 3 little boys straight, so he would call them all by the wrong name, and they would giggle and say "Pa, I'm not Anthony, I'm Gabriel"!! What am I suppose to do??????? I've tried everything... I've tried being extra positive for both of us, I've cried, I've begged him to talk to me, I've gotten angry, which I'm not proud of. Now I do nothing. Our whole lives have become long hours of "nothingness". I feel, at times, that it's tearing my heart into a million tiny piece's. I hate this disease and what it does to people. Thank you all for being here. Thank you all for trying to help. I know there's not an answer to this problem, but if any of you have had a similar experience, I would appreciate any input you might have. I don't know what to do anymore..... Please pray for us. Thank you, Nova Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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