crystleshoe Posted January 13, 2008 Share Posted January 13, 2008 Well at this time last year my family and I were contemplating taking my Mom off breathing machines or leaving her on them (against her wishes) and giving God more time for a miracle. It is so hard to believe that it has been a full year since I have heard her voice or looked into her eyes and yet I remember every second of her illness like it was yesterday. I am having a hard time with the fact that someone can be such a huge part of your life for all your life and then they are not. I miss her so much still and I am pissed off that she will not be here for so many of the things that she should be here for. I have been working overtime this week and keeping very busy ( on purpose?) and this is the first time Ive had to be by myself with my thoughts. I wish I had the strong faith that she had and that my dad has that when you die you go to a better place. I feel like I let her down somehow and that if I was strong enough then I could have fought the battle for her. Instead of a memorial service we are having a celebration of her life. My family is all getting together to remember all of the good times we had with her and trade stories and photos. its crazy that the last 4 months of her life have overshadowed the other 70 years. I am so glad that I had her in my life and she taught me so much and if it weren't for her influence then I wouldnt be half the woman I am now and I want to try to let the good take over the bad. I want to be a good representation of her. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Patkid Posted January 13, 2008 Share Posted January 13, 2008 Prayers and hugs today! P Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Connie22 Posted January 13, 2008 Share Posted January 13, 2008 I understand. You and your family have my hugs and prayers! Connie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fillise Posted January 13, 2008 Share Posted January 13, 2008 Thinking about you today. Susan Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tnmynatt Posted January 13, 2008 Share Posted January 13, 2008 Hugs and prayers. Hope the day passes gently. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kamataca Posted January 13, 2008 Share Posted January 13, 2008 What a tough day. You know, logically, that you did everything you could to help your mom. I've fought the, "Could I have done more?" question, too, but you did not let her down. You held her up every time you had a chance. Praying for peace for you today. Kelly Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
deewilkey Posted January 13, 2008 Share Posted January 13, 2008 Hello Cheryl, Please accept my sincere condolences for your loss of 1 year. I understand your pain as my mom will be gone 1 year on January 14th. It is hard to wrap our minds around the fact that they have always been there and suddenly they are gone. It is hard to just have faith and not ask why why why? So, know that you are not alone in your grief and the overwhelming void you feel. I hope that you and your family find some peace in your memorial celebration of her life. Thinking of you, Stacey Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nick C Posted January 13, 2008 Share Posted January 13, 2008 Oh my!!! I can't believe it's been a year! I know these days are hard. But use them to connect as best you can in whatever way you can. I'm just so shocked. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blueeye Posted January 13, 2008 Share Posted January 13, 2008 Thinking about you today. Leslie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
crystleshoe Posted January 15, 2008 Author Share Posted January 15, 2008 Well i have made it thru the 1 year mark and survived the day. We had a nice day and although my dad seemed a little quiet and there were some sad moments we all did ok. I truly cant believe its been a year. I mean how is that possible? Where did the time go? It just doesnt seem right to have a family get together without my mom and she will never be there again so i am kinda having a hard time with that. Now we have to prepare ourselves to go through moms things, we have been putting it off all this time but I think that we may finally be ok enough to do it. The loss of someone that you love so much is such a bizarre thing and I dont know how any of us ever make it thru. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MomsGirl Posted January 15, 2008 Share Posted January 15, 2008 Cheryl, I'm glad you celebrated her life, what a brave and wonderful thing to do with your family. She would have loved that. I know exactly...exactly how you feel about not seeing her again and the time that has passed. You can't even explain it to someone that hasn't gone through it. It's surreal. I echo Nick's thoughts, I can't believe it's been a year. Hugs and prayers to you tonight... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.