JohnSis Posted June 5, 2004 Share Posted June 5, 2004 Well this is my 3rd post since I logged in for the first time this morining around 3:30. I even made a poll, thinking some of the readers might take a minute to just give me a quick yes or no, but I guess my problem is not anything of interest to anyone on here. When you only get an answer from the forum leaders, it tells me more than any poll could tell me. So after being on here for 4 hours, and getting 1 vote my own, I think I'll try a different sites forum. I'm sure that no one even read it since it was so long. But as I said in the post I really needed to write it out, so if nothing else thanks for letting me use your space. I have God and I'm sure he will take a minute to give me some direction. Good Luck to all. JohnSis Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sharyn Posted June 5, 2004 Share Posted June 5, 2004 I am so sorry you feel this way... I just logged on and found this post.... I don't think you have given us enough time to post any replies.... We are a very caring group and I know I have always been supported by everyone here. I am sorry you feel so hurt and ignored... I am going to go back to the boards and look for your original posts. Sharon Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stand4hope Posted June 5, 2004 Share Posted June 5, 2004 Janet, If everyone is like me, we sleep in on Saturday mornings. When I saw your post, I responded. Did you see it? I also saw you posted twice, and I think you had already had two posts from others. I know Ry was one - she is our early bird. I hope you will stay with us. We care a LOT. Love, Peggy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dadstimeon Posted June 5, 2004 Share Posted June 5, 2004 Hi Janet, I know how you feel. You have every right to be upset and frustrated. It is overwhelming for everyone involved. I did answer one of your other post and others did and will also. Regardless of the responses everyone here is very caring, understanding and supportive. No need to go anywhere else. This is the best message board on the net. You’re at the right place. The nicest people you every want to meet are right here. Stay with us. Don't give up. Just please give everyone time to respond if they so desire. Keep posting and keep us up to date. You will meet new friends here. Trust me. Just takes time. Peace, take care and God Bless. Rich PS: I've been on many times @ 3 AM and there really is not much action going on. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cindy RN Posted June 5, 2004 Share Posted June 5, 2004 Dear Sis- I think you need to read thru some of the other posts on these boards. I have never had anyone think the people here are anything but caring. Maybe you are going thru hell right now, I remember when my mom was diagnosed. She did not want everyone knowing. Her friends respected that. I answered your post on the poll. Please give us sometime to answer your posts. Most people are on here in the afternoon to evening. Except a few of us early risers. Your post just has not been there long enough to get the answers you need. We are here to vent to and help get each other thru. One thing cancer will do is teach a person patience. Love Cindy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jamie Posted June 5, 2004 Share Posted June 5, 2004 You need to give this board another chance. I for one didnt see your post. I think that you need to give more time for an answer. Sometimes I post and it takes a couple of days to get some posts, or sometimes a minute. You ARE in the right spot. I know that someone will answer your questions, sometimes Im on for a few days straight, then sometimes not at all for days. I do apologize for not responding to your post. I would have if Id seen it. Keep up with us- we do care. The amount of posts to read and respond to are overwhelming sometimes, espeically if people like me only come on every other day or so. Ive been on for over an hour, and havent even gotten through 1/2 the posts Ive missed. Jamie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fay A. Posted June 5, 2004 Share Posted June 5, 2004 Janet, I am sorry you are in such emotional turmoil. When it's late and we are alone things can become intense, and exaggerrated. One of the things that those of us who have Lung Cancer need is patience. We need for the people around us not to fly off the handle, and to be realistic and reasonable in their expectations of what others can and cannot do. I cannot handle the "Loose Cannons" of the world very well these days. So I limit my exposure to them by keeping them at a distance. Even those I really love. Because I cannot uphold them right now. And I know from our past history over decades that it will turn into being about them. And right now it really isn't about them...at least not for me. It's about my immediate family...my children, and me. We need for those we love to conduct themselves as adults, if that is what they are. We need to be able to rely on them to act in a way that will not be detrimental to us. Because we are at risk. We need them to put aside THEIR opinions and accept ours...it's our illness, it's our lives, and we get to decide what we can handle. I really do have an inkling of what you felt last night. And I am sorry. I just hope the light of day brings some easing of the intensity. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Remembering Dave Posted June 5, 2004 Share Posted June 5, 2004 Dear JohnSis, I try to browse this board every day, and admittedly from work, as I work full time with a two hour daily commute, have a 2.5 year old daughter, to care for, as well as my husband, the cancer patient. So I don't have time for the compute at home. And I didn't see your post until I got on here just a few minutes ago, taking a break after cleaning house. Yep, I gotta clean house on Saturdays, after that full work. So myself, like lots of other people on this board, just don't have time for it 24/7. I found your other post in Family Members/Caregivers and I have this to say to you. You sound like a very hurt and even needy person. I think you are suffering from lots of things not related to your brother's diagnoses and this may be a straw on a camel's back. And I think it is very unfair of you to take your hostility and disappointment out on this board. I think it is very unfair, even immature, for you to post a survey of whether or not you should go see your brother when none of us know you at all, know nothing of your history of your relationship with your brother, etc. etc. So don't blast us all because we didn't answer your survey, especially early on a Saturday morning when no one is even awake and on the board yet. We don't all sit around living on this board, even the folks in the middle of their treatment and fight have a life to live. If you will just take a deep breath and calm down I think you will find an amazing amount of support and advice on this board. But everything takes time. Your brother and his family may need to absorb what is happening to them and figure out their game plan before they have alot of folks descending on them. Back off, stay in touch, and give them time fo that. I don't know whether you should go see him right now or not, I don't know the details yet. I don't know what else to tell you. I know it must be very difficult but you must be patient. When Dave was first diagnosed I didn't want a bunch of people telling us what to do, we needed to figure things out for ourselves, with some advice, and after that we were ready for everyone else. Also remember that being diagnosed with cancer is very very emotionally draining, on top of physically exhausting, for both the patient and the immediate caregivers. Keep us posted. I will pray for you and ask Christ to lift you up. God Bless, Karen C. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Frank Lamb Posted June 5, 2004 Share Posted June 5, 2004 Janet,I'm sorry to hear of your brothers diagnosis.The first couple weeks or more are difficult for everyone involved.Yes I think you should go see him,however like Ry said it may be in better taste to give it a week or two.At that time perhaps call ahead & get a temperature check. On another note,please be patient.Not only with your brother and family but also w/ the members of this board.A lot of us are also fighting for our lives and have a few other things to do on weekends than always read the posts.Given a fair chance I'm sure you will find LCSC a very knowing and caring group of people.There is a tremendous amount of support available to you and your family here.Good luck ,best wishes and and let us know of any questions or fears.You will recieve polite and caring feedback from many other patients and caregivers. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Angie Daughter of Bill Posted June 5, 2004 Share Posted June 5, 2004 I responded to you on the Family/Caregiver's board. This is THE most wonderful group of people that you will find on the net........or anywhere. We are all friends..........heck, we're family! If you post in the mornings, you might have to wait a little while to get a response. (especially on a Saturday morning) I know you want answers RIGHT NOW, but as you will find, having a family member with lung cancer takes patience! Dig down deep and find your patience............I had to do that myself. Angie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
luvmydog2 Posted June 5, 2004 Share Posted June 5, 2004 Hi. I know how you feel right now. You are hurt and don't know which way to turn. Well you made one correct turn; you signed on to this board. I was diagnosed in 6/03. I went looking everywhere for someone that could give me some answers. I ran across a site where there is love and understanding. That site is where I am posting a reply now. I am sorry you feel the way you do about us. I feel if you will give us some time you will find that we are a very caring group. We will stop and listen to you, laugh with you or cry with you. In any case, we will be there for you. I am sorry you feel so hurt and ignored but I don't think anyone here monitor the board 24/7. We answer as we read the post. I did read all 3 of your post around 10AM today but had to walk away from them because I did not know how to respond without further hurt your feelings. I do want to ask that you stay with us and keep us posted as you learn more about your brothers condition. The more we know, the more we can offer. Whatever his stage and condition I'll bet you find someone here that has been there ...done that. If you need to talk and don't want to post feel free to PM me. Good Luck and God Bless. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Andrea Posted June 5, 2004 Share Posted June 5, 2004 We all also need to remember time differences, us folks out west are still in bed when east coast people are eating breakfast This is a great place! Best of luck Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Remembering Dave Posted June 6, 2004 Share Posted June 6, 2004 Also, we're not a 24 hour crisis hotline. We're a bunch of people trying to support each other through a very difficult time. If you look at different threads, you can see that most of them are answered within days, even weeks of the original postings. Karen C. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chloesmom Posted June 6, 2004 Share Posted June 6, 2004 JohnSis, Please don't be so hard on the people here. We're all just people trying to survive this too. Don't forget ---WE ARE THE SURVIVORS, CAREGIVERS, FAMILY MEMBERS, not simply a helpline. We are trying to take care of our health issues, work, raise families, maintain homes, and everything else besides trying to be good members of this community. I didn't get on the boards all day today because I was running errands, doing laundry, ironing, and doing all those things that people do on the weekends. These are all wonderful people on this board--don't beat up on them. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
David P Posted June 6, 2004 Share Posted June 6, 2004 DITTO !! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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