DebCamp Posted June 18, 2003 Share Posted June 18, 2003 Hi! I've been to this site many times before but only as an observer. My husband Dino (34 years old) was diagnosed with Stage IV nsclc on April 21st. I will never forget the date - it was one day after our daughter's 2nd birthday and 3 weeks after the birth of our son. This whole nightmare actually began the day after my son was born. My husband spent the night on the recliner in my room. The next morning, he woke with a stiff neck. We figured that it was from the uncomfortable chair or the way he had slept. My husband who is a chiropractor turned to adjustments figuring that would help. Unfortunately it didn't. Instead, the pain became increasingly worse and he lost most of the motion in his neck. I finally convinced him to goto the emergency room and after a week of tests we were given the diagnosis lc with mets to his spine. Talk about shocking news! We figured that it was a herniated disc or something pressing on his nerves. Cancer never even crossed our minds. Being a chiropractor, my husband had a healthy lifestyle. Never smoked, never did drugs, didn't take medication (even tylenol, in fact he never had anything in his house until I came around), eats healthy, takes all kinds of supplements to enhance his immune system. Where did this come from? Worse than the diagnosis was the comment from the hospital doctor that my husband had maybe 2-3 years and that she was sorry. Devestating news for two young kids with a newborn baby! Life since has not been the same. Dino began chemo in the hospital. He had a severe reaction to the first round but has fared much better the last two. Since his initial diagnosis, headaches prompted an MRI of the brain which revealed a single lesion and the oncologist identified enlarged lymph nodes in his neck. It seems that every time we goto a doctor they have bad news. I'm beginning to dread all appoitntments! I can honestly say that this has been the most difficult time of my life. Three months ago, I thought that this would be a great time in our lives. We would be celebrating the birth of our child and looking forward to watching our family grow. Instead, we are faced with the possibility that my husband may not be here. It pains me when I think that Dino may not see the kids start school, graduate from high school, get married. I can't even imagine my life without him. Everyone tells me to take things one day at a time but it's hard! We have been tryijng to keep things as normal as possible but with chemotherapy, radiation and doctor's appointments it's difficult. Fortunately, we have a lot of familyfriends who have helped with transportation, watching the children and offering support. I can only imagine what it would be like if they were not here to help! Coming to this site has offered me hope. You are an amazing group of people and the support you give one another is priceless. I only need to look at my two children to see that miracles occur. I pray that miracles find there way to all of our homes. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gail Posted June 18, 2003 Share Posted June 18, 2003 Please keep coming to us. As you can see, I am from South Jersey too. Delran, to be exact. What hospital are you going to? My email is gc508@comcast.net If you would like, I can call you. Send me your phone number if you want. gail Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Terrie Posted June 18, 2003 Share Posted June 18, 2003 Sorry to hear that you need us, but we're all in this together!! This is just the best group of people - something which you have already noticed. I will keep your husband and your family in my prayers. Terrie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Donna G Posted June 18, 2003 Share Posted June 18, 2003 I am so sorry that you are going through this. People do have the impression that only smokers get lung cancer . You will meet others here like yourselves, and many are so young. You have found a group of survivors however and we want to help each other in any way we can. We have a lot of experience. I hope you find support with us. You will be in my prayers. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shelliemacs Posted June 18, 2003 Share Posted June 18, 2003 Please know that there are survivors with every stage. No cancer is 100% fatal anymore. New treatments are in development as we type. There are people on here who have had the wind knocked out of them over and over and they are STILL here today to talk about it. One person has had three different cancers and she is a long term survivor of Lung Cancer still today. I think 8 years she has been cancer free from her last cancer. Dave G who was re-staged to 4 just posted yesturday that his tumors shrunk by 50%. No doctor can tell you how long your husband will live. They are not god. You and your husband have to tell yourself that HE WILL LIVE and BEAT THIS. Its ahard hard battle, BUT it can be beat and he can go into remission for many many years and then maybe a cure will be found to completely wipe LC out for good. If your doctor doesn't offer you hope...FIRE HER and find a new one. Your husband is the General and the ONC. is the ground support. If yur husband believes in his mind he can win. great things are then possible. There was a man on here who lived 20 years past beating LC. Please seek another ONC. if this one is not positive or willing to get dirty and fight with you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
beckyg Posted June 18, 2003 Share Posted June 18, 2003 Hi, it seems that the number of us with lung cancer in our thirties is growing. I am 30 and was diagnosed in January afetr talking to my doctor about a lingering cough. I figured he would send me to an allergist or put me on a new kind of medication--I never thought of lung cancer. Like your husband, I never smoked or did anything that was supposed to put me at risk for lung cancer. My husband and I have one daughter who will be three years old next week--some days she is the reason I get up and stay focused on what needs to be done to beat this. Today I start my second course of chemo. I finished the first course along with radiation in the spring. Ignore doctors who try to tell your husband how much time he has left--no one knows that. We had one doctor tell us that if I can stay alive five more years, "That would be a very positive result." We told him that his statement is probably true in terms of statistics, but that it would not be such a positive result for us. I intend to be around for all my daughter's growing up. Anyway, stick around and feel free to private message me if you like. Becky Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kimblanchard Posted June 18, 2003 Share Posted June 18, 2003 Your message brought tears to my eyes, I am so sorry about your husband, no one deserves this rotten disease, especially someone so young. You came to the right place, I have SCLC extensive, diagnosed 2/14/03, I found this board shortly after and now I don't know what I would do without it. It is so comforting to interact with other people who are going through the same thing as you are, no one else could come close to understanding the pain you are in. We do know and we will comfort you all we can and we are 400 strong, thats a lot of prayers going out to you and your husband. Some of us will have answers to your questions others can offer contact information, etc. We may not have the cure ourselves but we will try and help in any way we can. Please don't give up hope, there are so many survivors out there and so many options that were not there before. We recently lost a member who was a 20 year survivor of SCLC extensive and that is practically unheard of. Do try and take it one day at a time otherwise you will just bury yourself with anxiety and you have so much on your plate right now. Please continue to keep us posted. I will be praying for your husband and may God guide you along the way. Best Bess B PS We have another member whose name is Carleen, here husband has SCLC and is the same age as your husband, I think you would have a lot in common. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kimblanchard Posted June 18, 2003 Share Posted June 18, 2003 I am Becky's husband and agree wholeheartedly with everything said above. Find doctors who are interested in long term survival. That is the only goal worth having in our situations. There is hope. There is a chance. I don't know what the statistics are that Becky will be here with me next year, five years, ten years from now; they are not relevant. It is not as if 30% of Becky will be here with me; it will be her or not. Her chances are what they are and we are going to do whatever it takes to keep her here. So pay no attention to the statistics. Enjoy your children; our daughter doesn't know anything but Mommy and keeps us focused on today while providing all the incentive we need to battle each day. We have found much strength here in this board. I hope you do as well, and of course we all wish your family a complete recovery. Curtis Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
norme Posted June 18, 2003 Share Posted June 18, 2003 Hi deb, my heart goes out to you and your family. I can't imagine anything more horrible to find out at your husband's age. I know he will be going through a rough time as my spouse did but just tell him to bear with it times will get better. try really hard to take only one day at a time. thinging about the future takes a lot of energy out of us and none of us whether with or with out lc knows tomorrow.... sometimes the treatments really brings one down before picking one up. good luck and remember, you can find a lot of good news along with advise on this board. God Bless Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kimblanchard Posted June 18, 2003 Share Posted June 18, 2003 Hi friend, I am so glad that you decided to post so that we can offer you the support that you must need at this time. To be so young with small children and facing this battle requires such courage. You will find the strength that you never knew you had. Almost every appointment that my husband has had has brought bad news so I understand the devastation. Somehow we pull ourselves back together and get determined to not let the cancer win. I pray we can offer you that determination. Your husband can win this battle. Many on this site are doing just that and he can join this group. Please continue to post so that we know how we can help YOU too. Blessings to you both, Peg Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Don Wood Posted June 18, 2003 Share Posted June 18, 2003 Deb, as you can see, you and your husband have a lot of support here. Yes, cancer in the family is the hardest time in life, if and when it comes. I am glad to see you reaching out to others to help you, because, as the primary caregiver also, I know that it is important for the caregiver to take care of themselves first. I heard it analogous to the heart, which pumps blood to itself first, so it is healthy and pump blood to all the other parts of the body. Prognoses in cancer are just a statistic. Each person is different and you'll find many surviviors here. Let us know how we can support you. Blessings to you and your family. Don Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tiny Posted June 18, 2003 Share Posted June 18, 2003 DebCamp, I just want to reiterate the welcome and to grieve with you that life is not fair and that this has happened to you at such a young age. Praying for strength for you and your husband as you fight this rotten disease. It's very hard at first, but an emotional leveling seems to happen with the passing of a little more time, believe it or not, as you dig in and do battle. One thing for sure, you cherish the small daily blessings more. We are here to lean on, to listen to your heartaches on some days, and to celebrate victories with you on others. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Carleen Posted June 18, 2003 Share Posted June 18, 2003 Deb, I can't tell you how sorry I am about your husband. I can completely understand your devastation, shock, and fear. We've all been there, and this is the worst thing in the world to have to go through. But, if you have to go through it, this is a great group to turn to for support. I remember when Keith was first diagnosed, we were told that LC is extremely rare for people in their thirties. In fact, our Oncologist refused to give us a prognosis because we were only the second case he's seen this young in his entire practice. He said that all the statistics out there are based off of the Averages. The average life expectancy, of the average person to get LC, with is between the ages of 60-80. He said the figures do not take into account the youth, health and strength of someone my husband's age. Because of this, they can be treated more aggressively. Since then, I've met through this board, a number of people that are in our age range all going through the same thing. Lenr8 has NSCLC at age 31; DavidC has Limited stage SCLC at age 34; and you've heard from Becky above. For something that is suppose to have a less than 1% chance of happening in our age bracket, we seem to be seeing more and more of us lately. But regardless of age, LC has takes the same emotional toll, the same physical considerations. There are so many people here with a world of knowledge and love. Please come here often, whenever you need to vent, laugh, cry, get info, chase away the fears, or chase away the blues. Also, feel free to e-mail or private message me at any time, and we can talk. God Bless you, Carleen Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JudyB Posted June 18, 2003 Share Posted June 18, 2003 Deb and Dino, I feel so badly that you have to deal with this in your 30s. It's an awful disease at any age, but so young. . . (sigh). The good side of it, tho, is that a younger age probably has a much higher survival rate, regardless of Staging. It's so vital for you both to think positive about this journey. Dino, you can certainly survive this! Be as optimistic as you can be. I wish I had a little "positive pill" I could give everyone going into this battle. Believe you can win, and you will!!! Remember: The power of positive thinking can change your life! JudyB Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mscyn4u Posted June 18, 2003 Share Posted June 18, 2003 I just recently joined this site as my husband is having surgery next week for his second bout of lung cancer. But I want to welcome you and tell you the few days I have been posting and getting replies and I have learned so much helpful information and gotten many words of encouragement. So I want to say to you be strong and think positive. I will join others in praying for your situation. This disease can be frightening and make you feel like you are on an emotional rollercoaster. However, I feel we now have found the best place for support. God bless you and your family Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest DaveG Posted June 18, 2003 Share Posted June 18, 2003 Deb: At the suggestion of Becky, I have just created a new Forum called "Under 40 Crowd". This forum was developed for those under 40, although age has never been a factor with lung cancer, I firmly believe that those under 40 are important to the overall movement and advocacy with lung cancer. You people have the best chance, because age is on your side. Those of us in our 50's and 60's seem to have a much tougher battle facing us, and many in our age group, such as myself, have faced early retirement because of lung cancer. Some of us are also doing battle with social security for disability benefits. I, for example, have just been notified that a decision has been made on my behalf, but have not yet received the letter notifying me of that decision. So right now, I am in a state of limbo. It seems as if your age group responds better to treatment and you look forward to continuing your careers, verses complete career change as we face. So welcome to our group. I know you are facing some tough times, but as you have found out, you are not alone in your quest. We offer much hope, support, caring, faith, and much needed love. Please, make yourself at home here. You can come here to vent, cry, laugh, or just give a daily update on what is happening. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
David P Posted June 19, 2003 Share Posted June 19, 2003 Hello Deb. Welcome to you and Dino. I am feeling bad for you, as I cannot fathom the idea of having to deal with this disease AND your newborn simultainiously; you are going to have to be a very strong person for the next little while - at least until you get that scan result that suggests Dino's in remission.(you've got to have a little hope). Deb, the living one day at a time thing always sounds good when it's said, but if you live that way, it's almost like you've accepted that Dino might not be around next week. Much of this battle will be fought in yours and Dino's head; the strong, unwavering, positive attitude is a must have. The other thing you must have, in my opinion (and I've been around for a while since my dx), is a long range plan for you and your family - a plan that includes ALL of you. Anybody who says Dino won't be around to see the children graduate and get married deserves a sock to the chops (in my opinion). Take care, and keep us posted, David P. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rayroy Posted June 19, 2003 Share Posted June 19, 2003 I am glad you enjoy the support here. Even though this may be scary your husband can beat this. Live one day at a time. Enjoy life! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rocco Posted June 20, 2003 Share Posted June 20, 2003 Deb- never give up hope. If you ave not goten a second opinion on treatment/diagnosis/prognosis, please do so. My first onc wasn't nerly as aggressive as Fox Chase was. After my second opinion there, it was a no brainer as to where I wold get my treatments. So far, I'm NED. It's all about attitude. I understand that it's hard to be positive, and I know you dread going for one more test, but, it's important that they know esxactly what they're dealing with in order to correctly treat Dino's particular cancer. Know that everything happens for a reason and that you'll have much love and support on ths board. There are many of us here that are survivors. God Bless! Rocco Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest pepperpike Posted June 21, 2003 Share Posted June 21, 2003 Hi Deb, My prayers are with you and your family. Please keep the attitudes positive and realize much of the healing is in your husbands hands as he faces the challenges of treatment each day. Try to focus on living each day to the absolute fullest....and enjoy them. I can imagine the joy he must be feeling having two small children around to lift his spirits. Children have a way of helping us realize what is really important and helping to give us purpose each day to live a full life. I have 2 Oncologists. One is extremly positive...his last words to me were "Go home and consider yourself cured." The other Oncologist deals with statistics and is always putting in front of me the dim prospective of this disease. I will quote what someone wrote to me..."10% survival still means thousands of lives....be one of them." I'm sure in your husband's practice, there were many patients that defied the course of disease. Encourage your husband to one of those people. Best Regards, Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jenny G. Posted June 21, 2003 Share Posted June 21, 2003 Deb, Welcome to this group. I am so glad you found us. My heart is breaking for you. This $#@@! cancer makes me so angry! It does not discriminate, in fact it seems to seek out the best and most undeserving people. Focus on your children, they can help give you the will and the strength to fight this. Don't forget to take care of yourself first. Don't hesitate to accept help when it's offered. I'm glad to hear you have support. There must be an ultimate purpose to all of this and I have to believe that one day we'll understand. Never give up hope. Jenny Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rick Posted June 21, 2003 Share Posted June 21, 2003 Welcome to the group, sorry you had to visit. You will be able to get valuable information and companionship through this endeavor here... Rick Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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