Tam, this is not to excuse your dad's bad behavior but just to put it in perspective. Your dad, as you said, was used to doing pretty much what he wanted to do and left everything else to your mom. Now, as well as facing the death of his life companion, he has to run a three-ring circus -- do his things, to her things and take care of her -- all at once. It becomes overwhelming. I have had screaming fits just to release the tension. In addition, I think males are poor in coping with illness and giving compassion and love. It is a lot for your dad to learn all at once. Try to be supportive of both of them, and refrain from anything that would make the situation worjse. This is a hard road for all of us to travel. Find someone you can vent with on a regular basis, and, of course, please do come here and vent, share, ask questions. That is why we are here -- to support each other with caring and understanding. Best to you. Don