You need to keep perspective -- you have a job, a family, friends. You need to give those areas of your life attention, too, so that means less for your mom, whether she has cancer or not. I would encourage others to visit with your mom, whether she prefers you or not. Sometime, it is just getting used to someone else. If you try and do everythign, the stress will lower your own immune system, and you may get a serious illness, physical or mental. As a caregiver, you must take care of yourself first, or you will be no good to anyone. And I like the suggestion to scream -- I have done that -- unfortunately, at times I did it in earshot of my wife, and I should have done it where she couldn't hear me. We need to vent our emotions, and this is one good place to do that. I wish you courage and energy. You will need it. Don