Melinda

Debi--Thank you. Cary--I just read this today and immediately told Geoff. He would talk about you--and your posts--all the time. We are so very sorry. You and your dad are certainly in our thoughts and prayers. Please feel free to PM either of us (I'm on the board more than Geoff, since his mother's death)--if you want to talk. Fondly, Melinda

Wow. Hats off to Katie and Rick. Your sacrifices to create this site, in memory of Katie's dad, have made such a difference in so many lives (and not just those of us who post). Proof that one (or two ) people can change the world a little bit at a time. Thank you. Melinda

Congratulations! What great news. Have a lovely Thanksgiving. Melinda

Karen, I know nothing about CA--but with women like Fay and Andrea on your side, you've got a head start. I'd have them in a foxhole with me in a second! On a more serious note--I hope you find a great new facility that helps you. Happy Thanksgiving. Melinda

Cheryl-- What to add to what has already been said but that I agree that you must respond via a lawyer and I am thrilled to have such a great excuse to go find a Wal Mart and go shopping (they don't have them in NYC--but I will find one in the 'burbs). I'm so glad that at least one thing has gone in your favor. It's about time! Geoff and I are horrified by the actions of your employer/HR department. I am so sorry you and Jack are having to deal with all of this balderdash on top of fighting the beast. Our thoughts and prayers are with you. Melinda (and Geoff)

Bo-- Geoff's mom was on carbo/taxol for almost 6 months and had almost very little hair loss from that. I was expecting it to be much worse. She never had an upset tummy, either, thank goodness. It was not until she had WBR that her hair went. I do not know why she was spared so many of the side effects that others experience with chemo. For her, the chest radiation (and the subsequent inflamation of her esophagus) was the really difficult part. As far as your query reagrding diet--she was on an organic diet, with no processed food, and avoided sugar completely. She also had a regamin of supplements that Geoff monitored like a hawk. Please PM me if I can answer anything in greater detail (it's late and I am tired). I may not have internet acess until next week--but I will respond when I can. Hang in there, and happy Thanksgiving. Melinda

:) :) Happy Thanksgiving, Frank! Melinda

Eileen-- You summed all that needs to be said up quite succinctly. I hope the same for you. Happy Thanksgiving. Melinda

Sharyn-- I am so glad to read that your parents will be with you for a little while. Enjoy each other (and give them both big hugs on our behalf ). Happy Thanksgiving. Melinda

Kim-- I am glad to read that you mom is home for the holiday--and I hope she is able to remain there (and that her pain subsides). You are in our thoughts and prayers; I hope you all are able to enjoy a happy Thanksgiving together. Melinda (and Geoff)

Dear all, Thank you for coming to my big ol' holiday pity party. Your words of wisdom and support (and Curtis' generous presumption that I have a nice posterior ) mean more to me than I can express. I was pretty down last night and today--but am in the process of pulling myself up by those ol' bootstraps. I will have to log off to soon in order to pack, get to bed, and brave fighting through the NYC parade traffic to get to the airport. Please keep Geoff and his family in your thoughts and prayers tomorrow, as I will not be able to be with them. I hope that y'all get a respite from all that is weighing you down and have a day filled with "Friends, family, food, and football" tomorrow, as one of my dear friends (and sports fans) decribes it. Love to you all. Thank you again, for everything. Melinda

Dear all, I know I’ve been hanging on to my “hall pass” as a safety net so I wouldn’t feel so guilty for not posting or even lurking, but here it is—3:30am, and I find myself, selfishly, asking for your thoughts and prayers tonight. Some of you know about my stoic mother. (The woman who would not even tell the doctors that she had any post-surgery pain when they asked her what her pain level was on a scale from 0 to 10--even though she was white knuckling the sheets. I had to train everyone to ask her if she was experiencing some "mild discomfort" to get her to even acknowledge the topic. The woman who did not tell anyone--even her husband, my stepfather, when she was dx'd with cancer the first time over a decade ago because "she didn't want to be a burden or be pitied".) You may recall that she moved from NYC "back home" to North Carolina in the middle of her recent battle with breast cancer last year (her plans were already set and she wasn't going to let a "little" thing--like the fact that she was just dx'd with cancer again and/or then nearly died after a double mastectomy as a result of an anti-biotic resistant staph infection--upset them). With everything else going on in my life (and Geoff's) recently--I haven't seen her in a couple of months (almost 3, now). [i'm used to having her 5 blocks away.] I’d been feeling guilty that I was the one who still HAD a mom. And guilty that so much of my energy was NOT spent on her, but on Geoff’s family. What else was I to do? Geoff’s mom was dying. I knew she understood. I couldn’t leave Geoff (or his mom and his family) these last few months. I couldn’t be in two states at one time. Well, tonight, she called and started *crying* (?!?!?) and telling me that she was " sorry, but she needed me". My mother does not do this. Ever. It goes against the Steel Magnolia code. She would not elaborate. This on top of the fact that I learned last night that my great-aunt (who is like a grandmother to me… She never had children of her own. She taught me to read. She is also really close to Geoff, as he never knew his grandparents--and he has known her for 9 years as he usually comes to visit her with me. She thinks the sun rises and sets with him; really.) has stopped eating and is dying. I wasn’t told about this development because people “didn’t want me to worry” given everything else that has been going on. She is sick and ALL ALONE—and I haven’t found a way to be there because I didn’t know! Her birthday is December 12th, and apparently she is not expected to make it. (?????!) I found an affordable flight out of NYC on Thanksgiving Day—and my dad and stepmother agreed to tend to my sick cat--but I am overwhelmed. I feel like I will be giving both my mom and Auntie Mae short-shrift, having to split my time between them. What else am I to do? Can't life kick you while you are still completely prostrate on the ground? Why does it have to wait until you have somehow summoned energy you did not know you even had in your empty reserves to try and get up a little--and let you think that you are actually on the road to progress--before it smacks you on the head with another brick? Sorry for the melodrama (I am obviously not my mother's daughter)--I am just exhausted and scared out of my wits. The last year has just been relentless. I am just REALLY not ready for Auntie Mae’s death (nor is Geoff). Or anyone’s, for that matter. I'm over at his dad's right now still trying to get another batch of the sympathy acknowledgement notes out to his mom’s friends. Not to mention being worried about Geoff and his dad facing the holidays without her. And feeling stupid trying to plan a wedding that I had assumed until recently was going to be canceled/postponed due to the circumstances. It’s kind of hard to care about invitations, florists, and photographers right now. I don't even know what to think about my mom... I have told myself all night that in my mom's case, I do not have any facts yet, so not to let my imagination run wild. That it is not only unproductive, but potentially harmful. Hard, though. Sorry to vent; I’m just overwhelmed and frightened. Thanks for listening. Melinda

Carleen-- I have tears streaming down my face from a) the relief at hearing from you and reading about what you are going through. And I have to log off--so I don't have time to do justice to your post in my response. Grrr. Please just know that I think about both of you every single day--and try to somehow (?!?) take care of yourself (just a little?). I will post more when I have another chance to log on. Thank you, though, for taking some of your truly precious time to let us know how you both are. Melinda

((KIM)) I am so sorry to read that your mom is in such pain and that the doctors are being such dunderheads. I do have to second Don (isn't that always a safe bet)--but, also realize (like Peggy) that I am the pot calling the kettle black. Don's advice is sound, nonetheless. I'm glad you are at least using the board to vent, at least. What would we all do without that option?!? (Thank you, Katie and Rick.) You--and your mom--are in our thoughts and prayers. Melinda (and Geoff)

Dave, Glad to "hear" that you are home. As a teacher, I have to concur--the darlin' little ones will get ya sick almost as fast as bein' in the hospital! I might recommend stayin' away from Faith's new paint! Seriously, though, glad to read your posts and want you to know you are in our thoughts and prayers every day. Melinda (and Geoff)

J.C.-- Thanks for the update. Big (but gentle) hugs right back at you. Melinda

Fay-- I'm sorry I'm late to respond--I haven't had much time to log on recently. I am so darn frustrated for you. I want you to get a major break sometime soon! In the interim, however, all I can do is tell you that I, too, am rooting for you and that I hope you have a truly lovely Thanksgiving. Melinda

Thanks, Cheryl. Looking forward to them! Melinda

As always, thanks for the info., Hebbie. Melinda

Dean, Congratulations on such a major accomplishment. I do not know the varied roads you have traveled on to reach where you are now, Dean, but it is readily apparent how much wisdom you have gleaned from your life experiences (the good, the bad, and the ugly). Not many can say that they've had a good life AND acquired such knowledge. I am so grateful that the last 25 have been so fulfilling for you, Dean. I am also (selfishly) grateful that I have "met" you and been able to benefit from your insight. Congratulations, once again; happy Thanksgiving; and thank you. Melinda "Let knowledge grow from more to more--and so may human life be enriched." (The University of Chicago)

Rick--I figured you were doing that--but I never thought to thank you for it. Silly me. Thank you. As usual, Elaine's point is well taken. Elaine--I don't usually "Google in"--but I will from now on to up the counts that they record so it may show up "higher" on the "hits", or list they show as the result of a web query, when someone types in "lung cancer". Thanks for helping me realize that there is an extremely simple thing I can do that may help others fing this wonderful site, and thus, help in the battle vs. LC. Melinda

Here's to hoping y'all will be able to ring in the New Year in your beautiful, new house. Best wishes to you and your entire family for the holidays. Melinda

Dear Gail-- I am so sorry to read your post. I am the caretaker of my little sister's/mother's 17 year old cat--whom I love tremendously--I live in true fear of having to make that call. I sincerely hope that having your family back for the holidays will make this easier for you. Melinda

Elaine-- Y'all are still in our thoughts and prayers. Melinda

Peggy-- So glad to read your most recent post! I don't have children, myself. But I know how much I miss my students after spending a year(s) with them. It's gut wrenching. And their not even "mine". Three cheers for clean kitchens, happy phone calls, sage arrivals, and great visits! Melinda