Dear Jane,
It is not strange at all that you are "out of whack after 3 months." I am still out of whack after almost 13 months..Everything is still so new to you, really 3 months is not a long time to be grieving..
I know the feeling of sitting and staring at the boards when the words will not come to me, but every once in a while someone will post something and I feel like I need to tell them, its okay and you are okay, I feel like I need to tell you its okay and you're okay..Your faith is strong and God will guide you..All of us that have lost our dear loved ones to this disease know your pain and understand, and you're right you have to get "you" better..Its hard I know, I pray that we all can heal and find the peace we are so desparately seeking..