cathy

Here is another one of those dreaded first. My mom and dads 51st anniversary is sunday.. We are planning on doing something with mom, my brother talked to her yesterday and said she was so relieved that we were planning to spend the day with her..I think she may be feeling that I am pulling back a little, she cried to him but then apologized for crying, anyway all that aside, can you tell me if this day is going to be really hard, I know it will be, but do you think it will be harder than the holidays? I just need to know what I am in for.. My husband is going to take her to the cemetary( I dont think I will ever go back there). I just dont think I can find comfort there and I think its way to sad to be there.. If this is too hard to talk about I completely understand, I only know what it was like to be the daughter of this gentle man not the wife.

Dear Berisa, I have been thinking about you lately and wondering how you were doing..You're right it doesnt sound like you are getting much rest, I would hate to go on a vacation and have to keep a schedule especially gettting up early..On the other hand hope everything is going as well as can be expected..Good luck with your job search.

Well Deb, I am guilty of the same feelings.. I remember right after my dad passed I was watching some dateline or a show like that. A daughter was confronting her father who had abused her and I believe he denied the whole thing to her all I did was sob while watching that. I asked God why is that evil s o b still alive while my sweet dad was not, he has absolutely nothing to offer his daughter, while my dad still had so much life left in him and thats not the only time I have felt like that, so you see Deb you are not alone. Dont worry about not posting, you have been there so much for others, especially me..You have said many beautiful things to me that have lifted me when I was down..If you need to vent I am here for you...(((DEB))))

I bet your heart broke when Allen went back home..I wish the wife could show a little compassion, but I guess what ever makes him happy makes you happy...Maybe with a few prayers for Allen the wife will lighten up a bit..

Laurie, First I want to say you have been missed, second hope they can find out soon what is going on, I know how awful the wait is, let us know when you find any thing out....

Natalie, Your story sounds just like mine..I am not sure how you can help your dad because I am not quit sure how to handle my mom any more..All I know is I find that I cannot grieve the loss of my dad the way I need too, I have been trying to make sure my mom is ok and in doing that I lost myself somewhere along the way..I know the guilty feelings you are talking about too, but I decided just this past weekend that I cant do it anymore, I know now that by being there every single day was not healthy for me or her, I know I have to find my "new normal" and seeing my mom everyday was not normal..I am not sure if this helps you and I know I didnt really answer your question I just wanted you to know you're not alone and you really need to think about you, something I havent done in a while and I am not ashamed to say it..Pm me if you need to talk more..

Cat I was just wondering if they ruled out a stroke. I know people that have had strokes and never even knew it. The reason I ask is because I know with many stroke victims one if the side effects is they become very emotional, crying all the time for reasons they would never get emotional over prior to the stroke. It might be something to check into..

Please send Mo my well wishes..She is a very special lady

Welcome back Bob, I think you know by now so many have been worried about you...Sorry you have been having such a rough time these past months..Praying for you that you will be on the mend soon and will be able to enjoy that steak..

Nancy, Sounds like everything went well. Hope the next few weeks go good for you and you recover quickly...

Shelly, DONT listen to his brother, walk away if you have to, you know how high emotions run when you are dealing with the thought of maybe losing a loved one( I did say maybe). You have done exactly what your dad asked of you and that is all anyone can do..What do they think that you gave your dad a drug that gave him LC, I mean really, Do they think LC is contagious, I dont understand why they are blaming you for his illness. It sounds to me like you are not going to make his family happy no matter what you do. Dont worry about them, you have to worry about you.. I know how hard this is for you, you do with your dad what you feel is right..If you want to be there near him, you be there, that is not smothering him... If you read this tonight you can call me...I will be home all night with nothing to do so dont feel like you are bothering me..Okay?

Dear Ray What a generous man you are..I will say a prayer that your scans are clean friday....

What a cute story.. Thanks Curtis for sharing it with us

just did..

Nancy, Wishing you a quick recovery..Will be praying for you (((((((NANCY))))))))

Absolutely David..

Francine, Sure wish you received better news, I just said a prayer for you and will keep you in my prayers...

You know I remember reading about that happening to someone else here, I cant remember who it was though.. That must be a bit scary for you especially being alone..I hope they get to the bottom of it for you. Are you feeling okay other than not remembering those hours?

Mo, I know you were looking sooo forward to that trip...Get yourself feeling better then just take off last minute.. I am sure your friends will gladly give you a rain check for another time...((((MO))))

Dear Fay, I have to say for any newcomers just lurking here trying to find some hope they have certainly found it in your post... You are an inspiration to so many not only to those fighting this beast but to family members as well...Congratulations on your five years and I will be looking forward to seeing a NERD in your life too...

Hi Don and Lucie, Welcome back...It sounds like you had a wonderful time filled with beautiful memories..

Dear Mo, I hate that your news was not better, however cant wait to hear what the doctor says and will be praying that he has a new plan of attack..

How awesome you are married to a hero..I am honored to know him in an indirect way..Thank him for me for contributing to make our country safe...

Dear Shirley, Thank you again for yet another inspiring post. This morning was not a good morning for me, mostly because I cant get my life back..much of my pain comes from having to be strong for my mom and it is literally tearing me apart. My husband and I had a long talk this morning and I have decided I need to find my new normal, I need to break away from my mom a little because I just cant seem to heal. I see her everyday and on top of my pain I have hers, so I need a break.. I have 4 other siblings who need to step up and help out... My dad was an awesome man, just like Randy I know he wouldnt want any of us being sad, so I just copied your post and everyones responses and I am giving them to my mom..I think you are awesome, Shirley.Thank You God does work in mysterious ways, you sure have picked me up today...

Thanks Angie for the update. I did an e-mail from Shelly also explaining pretty much the same...Its unbelievable