Suzie Q

My mom did a clinical trial with velcade, gemzar and carboplatin. She had NSCLC adenocarcinoma, with multiple nodules in both lungs, and managed to get about 90% improvement with 6 (I think) rounds, but after that they tried velcade as a single agent for maintenance, and she experienced disease progression. I have no experience with it as a combination agent with taxol. Best wishes, Karen

I extend my deepest sympathies to you and your family. Your dad was much too young, yet it sounds like he did a lot of living in his time here. Karen

So sorry for your loss.

Mitchell, So glad NED is her new best friend! She looks great!

Please accept my deepest sympathies. Karen

Who says the best thing about 7/11 is the Slurpees?

My dad had one, and the good news is that you still can eat as you wish with the feeding tube. ~Karen

Livin' and a-workin', workin' and a-livin', I'm takin' what they're givin' 'cause I'm workin' for a livin'.

My mom flew several times while undergoing treatment, sometimes alone, sometimes with someone. The flights were all non-stop and 4 hours or less. She requested "handicapped" seating, along with a wheelchair, but the airline did not always have the staff to wheel her to the gate. So she had a lot of anxiety getting through security checkpoint in time for flight because she had to wait for personnel to take her to the gate. This is not a problem if your mom has a traveling companion capable of pushing the wheelchair, of course. Security will check the wheelchair over with a wand (she will not be sitting in the chair at the time), so it will take a bit longer to get to the gate. Make sure she stays well hydrated when traveling. Above all, have fun!!! ~Kaaren

Trish, So sorry for the ton of bricks you have had dumped on you! Regarding your dad, I am going to go against the flow and play devil's advocate here. Try to keep in mind that while he lost his life-mate, his loss is quite different from yours. He met someone and fell in love again; you cannot have another mother. It's not that one is worse or more painful than the other, they are just different types of loss. And so, his ability to move into a new relationship may seem shocking and disrespectful to you and your siblings, but to him, it is simply a matter of what he neds to live fully. He IS moving on. That doesn't mean he does not still love or miss your mom, and he really doesn't need your approval of his new relationship, though I'm sure he would like to have it. Yet, while they probably could have been more open with their plans, had they done so, it would not have gone over well anyway. Of course, I know nothing of your familiy's dynamics. Don't waste your life waiting for apologies you think someone owes you. Life's too short for that. It's done; accept it and move on. How intimidating it must be for your dad's new wife to have all of his children against her! Give her a chance. But you definitely should concentrate on helping your sis through her cancer battle. Do what you can, and be good to yourself, too. hugs, Karen

You honor im every day, just by living it fully. Many blessings to you, Ginny. Out of your grief, you have inspired many of us. Keep it up! I'll save a space for you in my thoughts on Saturday. ~Karen

Deepest sympathies to you in the loss of your father. Karen

Lily, I think we may be shirttail cousins! My maternal grandfather was related to Wild Bill Hickock also! ~Karen

Anne, Would it make it any easier if you wrote, "...your visits, calls, gifts of food were much appreciated." That way, it makes it clearer that not only were those things important to Karen, but also to you. And maybe it takes the sting of present/past tense away just a bit. ~Karen

Your medical team (and others) are not kidding when they say that you must weigh the quality of life that living with chemo/radiation/surgery provides, versus the quality of life with no treatment. The recovery from surgery can go extremely well or horribly bad. Some types of chemo are more gentle to the body than others. Some are very toxic. Most of the time, you can live reasonably well with chemo. Radiation seems to knock most people on their fannies; many do well after the initial period of recovering from the symptoms. Responses to and reactions from treatment are variable and specific to each case. There are so many factors to consider that even the specialists cannot predict what will happen. However, I would hazard a guess that most patients who go the treatment route carry on fairly well, far from the general public opinion that chemo automatically makes your hair fall out and you spend your time puking and feeling like crud. Nonetheless, your father has other medical conditions to consider as well. Some people want to fight; others need time to tie things up -- relationsip-wise or financially; still others are ok accepting things as they are and live their lives with no treatment. And while you can help ensure that your father has as much information as possible at hand to make a choice, realize that you may not agree with his decision. And that's ok, but it is HIS decision to make. All the best to you, Karen

Oh, Nick, the tangle of emotions you are feeling and will feel must be so overwhelming, but I am here to tell you I am so, so happy for you and Keri! You will make great parents. Happy dance!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Feel whatever comes natural. Allow yourselves that kindness, and do NOT feel guilt for any sadness or anger or whichever emotion runs through you. It's ok. Wishing you many blessings, Karen

WKRP in Cincinnati Sunny day, keeping the clouds away; On my way, to where the air is sweet-

I think the nearest Gilda's Club to OK is in Dallas, TX. http://www.gildasclubtx.com They do have a "lung cancer networking" group. Get a hold of the contact person for advice on starting up a support group in your area. ~Karen

Percentages can get confusing. For example, only 20% of smokers will get lung cancer, but roughly 80% of lung cancer is linked to smoking. Unless you really pay attention, you could get lost in that statement alone! If the lack of information is really bugging you, how about wrintig the ACS where you did your Relay for life, along with the National ACS office. Ask if the would include mor information about the preponderance of women and lung cancer, and include all relevant information to dispel the notion that it's ONLY about smoking. Good luck, Karen

Once again, Ernie has given great advice! Cancer, in any form, is NOT a punishment for poor lifestyle choices. Plain and simple. If your siblings are going to be no help, consider them out of your life. You do not need to be worrying about what they say or think, and clearly they will not be willing to help. Do let them know of changes in your mother's condition, as they may have a change of heart. But you seem to have deep underlying issues in your family, and while it's always good to HOPE for a change, do not count on it happening. Fixing it is not your responsibility. Loving your mother is, and you obviously do. Be there when you can, but let others assist you. Sometimes people without family/friends resources can get rides form the American Cancer Society. Churches offer ministerial services (the Catholic Church has Stephen Ministry in some parishes, for example). You may be able to get some assistance from whatever geriatric social services agency is in your area. Check them all out. You will need respite from time to time. Ask her if you can take her out to get fitted for a wig. Treat her to a manicure or pedicure. Anything to help her feel pretty. The chemo is a blank_itch. But there are some remedies to help her get through it. Pep talk over. many hugs to you, girl ~Karen

We walk by your side daily in this journey, Val. And you do NOT whine! You do eloquently express what you are going through; it actually validates what I am feeling or have felt. Sometimes it just feels good to know that those things are normal! So, for that, I thank you! ~Karen

Even if you cannot find a buddy who is grieving the same kind of loss as you, at least find someone who has experienced deep personal loss. While it may not fulfill all of your needs in the grief process, it does help. And it's so true; experience makes us much more empathetic and capable of giving what is needed. The awkwardness I have previously felt when others have shared a diagnosis of serious illness or at a funeral wake is mostly now gone. I can look them in the eye and know that they realize how much I mean it when I say that I can sympathize. I know how to extend concrete offers of help; previously, I never went beyond the standard "...if you need anything..." I wish you well, Teri. You have basically lost half of yourself, and it's going to take some time and hard work to recover, and to go on. Hugs, Karen

I wish for you much strength and peace in the days and months ahead. Please accept my deepest sympathies. ~Karen

Married with Children Try this one... Hello, world, here the song that we're singin' C'mon get happy! A whole lot of lovin' is what we'll be bringin' We'll make you happy! I was totally gaga over the star of this show! ~Karen