Well I can only say if you want a relationship with your mom, accept her as she is.
I am one of those who smoked for yrs. I quit the week I was diagnosed. I started again 2 yrs later -quit for awhile-started again-quit-started-------
I wish it was as easy for me as some here makes it sound
Your mom is under a lot of pressure, she is the only one to do this. If she is made to feel less than human, she will avoid being around those people.
Katie hit it right on the head. Re-read her post.
Love, Cindy
P.S. I went thru this in the early 90's with my mom-she hid her smoking after the diagnosis because she felt guilty. It took away time we could of spent with her. She came out of the closet after we told her we knew and it was OK. If you want to quit you will, if not, we still want to be with you.