MelanieLR Posted January 15, 2005 Share Posted January 15, 2005 After almost 4 years of having every test imaginable, 6 months ago I was finally told that I had stage 4 adenocarcenoma that originated in the Lung. The doctors said that it was very advanced & gave me 2 weeks to live if I didn't start very aggressive chemotherapy immediately & undergo gamma knife radiation surgery on the brain tumors. The disease was pretty much everywhere when they finally found it. For nearly 4 years I was told that I was fine & sent home with anti-depressants. Well, I went through the chemo & the gamma knife. For the past 6 months I've felt worse than I ever have. The doctors told me that at best, the treatments I've been through might have bought me another 6 months. I guess I'll see what my quality of life is for the next few months but frankly at this point, I can't see myself going through any more of the treatments. I'm only 44 & that kind of stinks but I just don't want to spend at least half of the remainder of my life in that kind of misery. My husband is having a real problem dealing with any discussion of my death & rather than being supportive, he's so angry at the cancer that I bear the brunt of his anger. He's not physically abusive but he's just so angry all the time that everything sets off a temper tantrum. I know how difficult it is to watch someone die of this disease. I was a caregiver for my Mother for 8 months as she was passing from the exact same cancer I have. I truly believe that it is harder for the loved ones than for the patient to accept the eventual mortality - at least it was in my experience. I just don't know how to talk to him anymore. I most certainly don't want to spend the remainder of my life being scolded or yelled at. If anyone out there has had similar feelings, please let me know how you dealt with it. Thanks! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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