To the Shore

[Kasey]

Guess I will need a pass for this week. I am leaving EARLY tomorrow AM for Rehoboth Beach, DE and will return Saturday night. Sound good ? Don't think so .

Each year 5 of us 'girls' go. Last year I didn't make it due to a very bad herniated disc. Thought I would do okay this year. But I'm not sure . Still have that disc trouble a bit since a little thing called lung cancer interrupted my therapy. Now have yet another back problem to add to it. Have difficulty walking for long distances and carrying heavy things....like a suitcase .

The bigget problem is....as has been discussed here before....these are friends who just think I should be FINE and JUST like before. It is a no-no to discuss lc or bad backs.....ruins fun! I am sort of dreading this and thought about not going. In fact, I am not really sure why I am. Wonder if I can drag a beach chair and beach bag 3 blocks !

Well, sorry to go on, but wanted you to know that I am going with much trepidation. Can't wait to get back HERE where I feel I truly belong .

Kasey

[Patkid]

What a great pal you are.

You will be blessed for your giving to your friends.

We will pray that they 'lighten up' and love you with the same graciousness you show them.

Try to enjoy the good parts and forget the less than good parts.

Love you

Brat

[cindi o'h]

Kasey..

You need to be selfish....hmmm hmmm (clearing throat). There comes a time in a person's life when one NEEDS to be selfish. LC counts as a ten. Bad back counts as a ten. Take care of YOURSELF first. You have to convince only one of the crew to haul your stuff for you. You can do that.

Do what you need to get better. They don't know your needs or burdens...(lucky them) YET. But, until they get it, they are not going to get it. But, you know what you need. Please don't compromise your health.

Bless your narcissim! Bless your narcissim! Now someone bless mine today too, please!

love, Cindi o'h

[dadstimeon]

Enjoy!

[Addie]

I agree with Cindi. If these are truly good friends...they will not only accept that due to back and lc issues you cannot carry anything heavy...but they will jump right up to carry things FOR you.

I cannot imagine that old, good friends of many years duration would make you feel you are "ruining their fun" by facing your own reality.

Tell them once, up front....."Look, I won't talk about my bad back or l.c. if you guys will just accept that I have BOTH and cannot physically do what I did in the past. If it is too burdensome for you..or if I am indeed 'ruining your fun' then don't invite me along anymore. I have to deal with what I have to deal with...and you guys pretending it doesn't exist is of NO help to me.

"I have no need to spend our time together complaining about my physical limitations....but neither am I gonna lug anything heavy around just because YOU guys don't want to face that I'm physically not the same as I was a few years ago.

"Now...having said that...I need help with my suitcase and whatever we carry down to the beach...and beyond that I will be my normal, sparkling and witty self and none of you will have to think about bad backs or cancer...agreed?"

And if they don't agree...you still have to take care of you, Kasey...so if they wanna go play beach volleyball or bench press hunky lifeguards...hey, you go out on the balcony with some binoculars and watch from a distance.

And next year, you're sorry but you must go to England to have lunch with the Queen and will be unavailable for the beach trip!

[Nancy B]

Kasey, I can sure sympathize about having the back problems and lc. Between the two lung surgeries and disc disease, I can't lift anything either. BUT, I look entirely healthy (now that I have some hair back). Can you get one of those suitcases on wheels?, or maybe a child's wagon to roll your stuff to the beach?

I agree with Addie, explain to your friends, then do what you have to do to take care of you. Hope you have a fun week. Will be thinking of you and praying for a very fun time at the beach.

Hugs,

Nancy B

[Leslie221]

Kasey,

Sounds like you will have to expend a lot of energy "faking" and "hiding" your true discomfort so your friends can have the best time. That's not fair to you.

Traditions aren't worth maintaining if they cause more harm than good. If you're really going because YOU enjoy it, I'd level with them about how they can help you have the best time - carry stuff for you without having to be asked, not putting pressure on you to keep up all the time, planning activities that all of you can enjoy. That's what real friends do.

Hope you have the best time possible and enjoy the beautiful seashore. Will miss you.

Leslie

[ginnyde]

Kasey,

Speak up. I don't think you should talk about your problems all the time, not good for you or for your friends. BUT, and this is a BIG BUT, (not to be confused with BIG BUTT), you must tell them that whether they believe it or not, you have both a bum back and lc and these definitely put some restrictions on what you can do physically. However tell them, this in no way affects my sparkling good humor, my wit, my intellect, my gorgeous bod in a bathing suit or my drinking arm. Enough said, let's have a fun time.

True friends will love you and listen to you.

[Ry]

I hope you go and come back glad you did! So here's the cabana boy pass (he'll carry the bags). Have fun!

[Addie]

Aw, dang it...you mean you have to ACTUALLY GO TO THE BEACH to get the Cabana Boy pass, Ry?

That doesn't seem fair somehow. I'd like the Cabana Boy and I'd like to be able to stay put right here. Is that possible?

And I'd like him before I get off Decadron...cuz...ya know....I seem to have more energy now....if ya catch my drift.

Is he accompanied by a bottle of Tequila by any chance, she asked, ever hopeful?????

[Frank Lamb]

Kasey,hope you have a really fun and safe trip.

So far as keeping up with the others do as I do.

Do as you can the best you can and stop when you need to.Tell the others you'll catch up.

[Don Wood]

Well, I hope you will be able to enjoy your trip. And, can you borrow a suitcase with wheels? Don

[J.C.]

Kasey,

Hope the beach boy will show up to carry

chair and beach bag.

Just go at the speed you can manage and

let them worry or offer to carry some of

your load.

Wishing you well and will wait for your

happy report.

xo

J.C.

[Ann]

Kasey, I just hope the cabana boy is absolutely georgeous and caters to your every whim!!! I also hope you really enjoy this special time with your friends and that you have lots of exciting "girl stuff" to share with us when you get back!!!

[stand4hope]

Kasey,

I'm late writing to you, but I do hope you have a good time even though you aren't looking forward to this trip. I'm hoping you will come back and be able to tell us that you really enjoyed it this year.

Have fun!

Love,

Peggy

[Kel M]

I hope you are enjoying a wonderful trip with your friends!

Kel

[Addie]

Well, I'm starting to get the impression that that Cabana Boy was a lot better looking (and energetic?) than any of us imagined. We'll be lucky to ever SEE the Cabana Boy Pass again...because it appears Kasey has made off with the guy.

Or wasn't she due back quite yet? I guess it's possible that this wasn't just a long weekend trip, but was for a whole week.

In any event, I think we'd better have the recliner ready for Kasey when she does return...because that hunky C. Boy might just have worn her out....ya think?

[Maryanne]

Hi Kasey,

I hope you are having a great time. And you were not burden with the catching up issue or carrying things. If they are true friends they will help you.

You certainly are having beautiful weather!!

Maryanne