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Hello. My mother was diagnosed June 28th after going to ER with horrible headaches. Determined there were 3 tumors in her brain, which had metastised from a tumor they foung in her left lung. She has been weaning down off the decadron now. She started WBR for the 3 tumors 3 weeks ago and finished today. Saw a Medical oncologist yesterday for the lung, said it is not curable, surgery is not an option b/c it has already spread to the brain once, and wants to start chemo carboplatin and taxol(i think that's what it is) next thursday, 1 time a week for 3 weeks. Then check the blood levels and go from there. He stated the averages for survival with stage IV are 6 mos to a year. This just seems to be happening so fast, and with such horrible news. My mom is only 52, and healthy other than this. Nothing else is wrong wit her. Any suggestions? Any survivors?


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First of all, welcome to this incredible place....you will definitely learn ALOT here. Also don't listen to the statistics!!!

There are many people here who have heard those same words your mom did...and guess what? they're still here and stronger than ever!!!!!

Also make sure you ask any questions you have, to everyone you need to ask, including here!!!! Also make sure your mom gets her nutrition, that is so important going thru chemo. Do you know what type of lc your mom has, because are some differences in the type of chemo and treatment your mom can or may have.....

I can tell you personally, and it sounds so crazy and ironic, but I hate that I found this place was because my husband has lung cancer, but I am so happy I found this place because I have such wonderful incredible support from such awesome people!!


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Your Mom is so young.

AND she has good health on her side and YOU! as an advocate.

Yes! There are survivors here. Keep reading...we are beating this disease every day.

You asked for suggestions. I think that so far your Mom's treatment sounds reasonable. I am glad that you are here trying to learn all you can. Keep reading. The MOST important 5 or 6 things determining a person's survival is the treatment. It is in her best interest that she get several opinions for treatment plans. Hers may be state of the art right now, however, there may be someone who has another game plan that sounds better and may work better for her.

Putting a time limit on her life-span is somewhat outrageous. We don't believe in statistics too much here as there are so many of us who are defying them every day. They are outdated.

The first oncologist at my hospital bedside said that my lung cancer was not curable. He said my chances of survival were "grim". (not that anyone asked him!) Most of the time, at my advanced stage it is not. I am working toward 4 years now with no evidence of recurrence after chemo/rad. Do you think I stayed with that bright sunshine at my bedside and allowed him to treat me????


Work like it is your life on the line. Try to get your Mom involved too.

I did this all on my own. Sick as I was, I am glad I had the wherewithall to find help to get me where I am today.

What part of the country/world are you?

Sorry to be so blunt, but the first lines of treatment seem to be the most important. We have lots of members here with tons of experience under their belts and all are interested in helping you and your Mom.

Glad you found us, and WELCOME!

Cindi o'h

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Thanks Cindi, you took the words right out of my mouth and said them prettier...as usual. :D

Please do not listen to the prognosis and don't ask...NO ONE can predict life expectancy and treatment options are getting better all the time. I asked once and will never do it again.

I am stage IV and was given one year, that was over three years ago. I have not missed a day of work and overall have felt pretty good.

I ain't saying it's easy, but normal life isn't easy.

Keep hope and live one day at a time. Don't worry about tomorrow until you wake up.


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I was told 6 months when I was first diagnosed in April 2005. So far, I have felt pretty good. I have needed radiation for bone metastisis and have had radio surgery twice for brain metastisis. Neither treatment even confines you to bed for a day.

I continue to do all my usual things - sleep a little more, and probably ache a little more.

DO NOT BUY IN TO STATISTICS. Stage IV lung cancer cannot be cured, but there's a good deal of treatment available. And treatments today are quite tolerable. I haven't had any chemo that caused any problems (other than low blood counts).

Good luck.


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I just want to welcome you and tell you that your Mom is so lucky that you are there and hunting for information for her. When we are going through this we need all the help we can get. At appointments it is great to have someone elses ears listening for it is so hard to take it all in. When she starts chemo she may be tired some from the chemo and some just from the stress of it all. Please keep us posted on how she is doing.

Donna G

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I am so sorry you are facing all of this, but you are doing one of many things you will do to help your mom and that is to search for information so that you can advocate for her.

Please reach out to us for experience, support and open ears.

You can see my profile which describes my mom's treatments.

Prayers dear. If you need to talk, please PM me.

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I just wanted to welcome you to this group and say how sorry I am that you and your mom are going through this.

I get so angry when I hear doctors still quoting statistics and averages. Let me ask you a question. Do you think your mom is average?

I'm sure the answer is NO! She is unique, she is wonderful, she's one in a million, she is not a statistic. So why can't she be that one in a million that baffles medical science?

What you need to also realize is that those statistic are based off of data collected over a 10 year period. When you look at treatments being used today, most of them have only been developed in the past few years. Treatment has come a long way in the past 2-3 years and the statistics can not accurately reflect that because it is based on old data. Also realize that according to statistics, the average Lung Cancer patient is 65-75 years old. Your mom is YOUNG. She can be treated a bit more aggressively than someone who is 70 and may already have other health issues.

The sad truth is yes, many people still die from Lung Cancer. Its cure rate is pitiful. We need more research and more funding. But, just because many of our members can't be classified as "cured" doesn't mean they aren't surviving and enjoying life. Many are treating their disease over years more like a chronic illness. It sucks! It is a hard road, and one that no one deserves to be on. But your mom can do this.

My husband fought HARD, and yes, he did go home to God. I have no hope for my life anymore. I have a hard time seeing hope and reasons for optimism around me. But still from my vantage point I can see many reasons for you to be hopeful and optimistic that your mom can live many more happy years. My Keith was diagnosed with Stage IV cancer with mets to the lymph nodes and liver. It was a very aggressive form of LC which was resistant to chemo (fast growing, faster than adenocarcinoma) He was given 9 months. After a year and a half it progressed to his brain, and at that point they said it was going to claim him in a few months at most. He fought HARD, and with a positive attitude, with hope, and with faith. He lived 3 years 3 months 10 days from his diagnosis date. That is a far cry from the original 9 months and well beyond the 3 months after brain mets. I am grateful for those additional 2 years. And those were good years. He worked full time throughout the 3 years and only took off of work in the last 6 weeks of his life. He played golf, played his drums, traveled, enjoyed family and friends, laughed and loved.

More than anything I wish he was here with me. But I am so proud of how hard he fought. He won his contest, he beat the hell out of those statistics. Your mom can too, so please do not take them to heart.

I am keeping you in my prayers!


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Welcome here! Yes, your mom is young to have this disease, but there are others even younger. There are plenty of survivors here, including my wife who was also given less than a year. She is coming up on 4 years as a survivor. The chemo sounds normal for your mom and hopefully will work for her. My wife has had success with that combo. Keep us posted. Don

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I'm so sorry you have to be here, but I do want to welcome you to the board. Like the wise ones have said before, do not be intimidated by statistics thrown at you. They truly mean nothing as each person's circumstances are unique. Some words of advice, write down questions you want to ask, get copies of all tests, scans, etc., and get and keep a good date book -- I can't tell you how often I have to refer to mine.

Good luck and take it one day at a time.


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Welcome to the board, but sorry you have to be here in the first place. I echo what the others have said. Although there is no cure at later stages, and the Docs are right to state this to a patient, you can live and treat the monster like a chronic disease. I figure the longer my husband hangs on, the better his chances are of new treatments becoming available. So far, so good. Keep the faith!


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See what everybody is saying, and it is soooo true. DO NOT LISTEN TO STASTICS!! There are so many here who have beaten the odds. Many were told months and its been years!!

Glad you found us and I hope we can help lessen your fears. This is doable. You can always get a 2nd opinion.

Keep us posted.

Maryanne :wink:

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You simply never know with this stuff. My mom was given 12-18 months and made it 5 months even with aggressive treatment - ther are people given six months who have made it years. You simply have to live every day like it is your last and GET EDUCATED.

I am so sorry this has happened to you and your family. You will never know why, and no one, simply no one deserves to go through this.

We are all here for you, especially we daughters who know what it feel slike to experience this with your mom. Please count on us.

Love to you,


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  • 1 month later...

Prayers for you and your family. I know so much 'bad news' is hard-

I would like to encourage you, your family and your mom to not let anyone put a 'time limit' on her life. The docs are only giving 'probability' not 'fact'. You have to find some small bit of something positive to celebrate and focus on each day.no matter how small those small things can lift you and change the quantity and quality of your moms life.

Tell your mom that when my mom was diagnosed they gave her 4 months-that was 8 years ago and while there is a new type of normal in her life she is functioning, working, loving-LIVING! Is it hard, well yup-but it is not unbeatable-

As hard as it is to believe SHE CAN BEAT IT!

Sending your mom some positive and healing thoughts at this crazy time and you the strength to keep her lifted!


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