recce101 Posted September 2, 2007 Share Posted September 2, 2007 This morning I crawled out of bed around 6:30, and with coffee and roll in hand soon stumbled into our cozy computer den where my wife was already browsing the news on cnn.com. I cranked up my machine against the opposite wall (we're about 3 feet apart back-to-back -- like I said, it's cozy) and when awake enough to talk, I asked, "Do you recall what we were doing on September 1st last year?" Without missing a beat she said, "Of course! You were in the hospital coming out of surgery." Then, a step ahead of me as usual, she continued, "Remember the potted orchid that [our next-door neighbors] brought you later in the day? I've had it in the back yard since you got out of the hospital, and it's been just sitting there all this time because it blossoms only once a year, and guess what -- it's blossoming today! Here, I took a picture, download it from my camera." So I did a composite in Photoshop to email to the neighbors. I don't remember much about the earlier parts of that morning except that I was extremely groggy for a very long time (I learned I'd been under anesthesia for over 4 hours) and I was overwhelmingly thirsty (was told I couldn't have water, but I eagerly accepted the sponge stick and ice chips). I was pretty much awake when my surgeon came in and said, in his pleasant but matter-of-fact way, "You do have lung cancer, adenocarcinoma, and it doesn't look very good." I made some noncommittal response, and he proceeded to check my dressings as we discussed mundane things such as pain (essentially none), medication, breathing exercises, and the like. It wasn't until later in the day that I realized "hey, I'm not worried, I'm calm as can be!" and wondered "what the heck is going on?" I still haven't figured that out, but I do distinctly recall that, as the surgeon was giving me the news, I felt as if I'd somehow shifted positions a few inches and started viewing everything from a slightly different perspective. How weird is that? Since that day I've been completely at peace with my condition and whatever may happen in the future, and I've felt connected with all that exists like never before. But I must say that all of this is internal, and that it hasn't translated into any improvements obvious to others. I'm still thoughtless at times, not very intuitive (very left-brained, for sure), still slow to pick up on new situations, and still unable to cook without a recipe (it's like when I was studying music in college -- I could sight-read better than practically anyone but couldn't jam or ad-lib at all). So what's there to say? Instead of trying to make sense of it all, I should probably just admire the orchid. Aloha, Ned Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mary colleen Posted September 2, 2007 Share Posted September 2, 2007 Very nice. Thanks for sharing that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Welthy Posted September 2, 2007 Share Posted September 2, 2007 God bless you Ned and your wife too! Congrats on a year of survivorship. Your thoughtful contributions are such a nice asset to our community. Love the flowers too! Your friend -- Debi (I don't think you're lame-brained at all!! ) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
laban Posted September 2, 2007 Share Posted September 2, 2007 Ned, How beautifully written that was. Thank you for being that special person who seems to always know exactly what somebody needs to hear. Your wife is a blessed girl to have you. I appreciate the Orchid photo as we got one just as Bill was diagnosed last year and this year when it came back it brought with it memories good and bad, but it showed that beauty can still show through bad times. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
J.C. Posted September 2, 2007 Share Posted September 2, 2007 Thank you Ned, Congratulations on the year, many more on the way and many more orchids. Jackie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
trish2418 Posted September 2, 2007 Share Posted September 2, 2007 Congratulations on 1 yr., Ned. Your writing really hit home with me because I reacted pretty much the way you did upon learning the diagnosis. No panic, no great stress, just an eerie calm acceptance. I really appreciate the wisdom and strength you offer through this board and others. Trish Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ry Posted September 2, 2007 Share Posted September 2, 2007 What a nice way to start a Sunday morning with a gorgeous orchid. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kasey Posted September 2, 2007 Share Posted September 2, 2007 I like Trish's words.....wisdom and strength. When I read your posts I just feel comforted and more at peace. That is a true gift you have there, Ned. The way you described your morning with coffee and heading to the computer den placed a smile on my face......especially describing the reparte between yourself and your wife sitting back to back! May there be so many more mornings with the beauty of an orchid and the love of a spouse. You are just a remarkable man. Aloha to you! And thanks for the pic! Kasey Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
barbara5452 Posted September 2, 2007 Share Posted September 2, 2007 Ned, as I finish reading your wonderful post this a.m you shared your peace with me. Thank you. It is going to be a wonderful day. Thank you again... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
alexan Posted September 2, 2007 Share Posted September 2, 2007 iT WAS BEAUTIFUL TO READ WHAT YOU WROTE !!!! THANKS NED. HUGS BUCKY Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wendy Posted September 2, 2007 Share Posted September 2, 2007 Thanks for sharing your memory and orchid today. Peace to you and your wife, Wendy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nonni Posted September 2, 2007 Share Posted September 2, 2007 Thank you Ned for your beautiful story and congrats on your 1 yr survival ship with many mnay more to follow...the orchid is beautiful...went well with your post I am so happy you are at peace...reminds me of the morning I had surgery...I was pertified of course...until I got in the operating room...then all of a sudden it was like a cloud lifted over me and I was suddenly at peace I mean real peace...I guess I figured...'the jigg was up' and there was nothing I could do about it now... I looked up to the heaven's and said..."Dear God..please guide the surgeons hands and bring me back to my good health...BUT what ever your plan is for me...I am ready."...and here I am 12 day's short of 3 yrs out of surgery and am able to sit here and write about it...but I will alway's remember that day for the rest of my life....PRAISE GOD!!! Any way Ned..thanks for sharing your story...it was truly beautiful...hugs...Nonni Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sharonjo Posted September 3, 2007 Share Posted September 3, 2007 Ned, Thanks for sharing your strength and courage, AND the lovely pictures of your orchid. I for one look forward to your posts as there is always something for me to take with me - just like today. Congratulations on your one year of survivorship, and may there be many, many more! God Bless, Sharon Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
loramu Posted September 3, 2007 Share Posted September 3, 2007 I always end up smiling when I read your posts. Here's hoping you have many more years of admiring that orchid! Lori Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IAAM Posted September 5, 2007 Share Posted September 5, 2007 Thank you for sharing, Ned. I too always enjoy reading your posts. You always have such wonderful, encouraging words. Sounds like you and your wife are very lucky to have each other. I am blessed as well with an amazing husband. What a beautiful orchid! Congratulations on 1 year, hope you have many more! -Elyse Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Betts Posted September 5, 2007 Share Posted September 5, 2007 You are a very special person, Ned - it comes through in your posts and it's nice to hear your story - a survivor's story! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blaze100 Posted September 5, 2007 Share Posted September 5, 2007 Hi Ned, After coming home from a rough day at work where nobody understands me, I read your post and related immediately. Every year the light gets a certain way, the air starts to smell familiar and pow... we remember and relive our diagnosis and surgery like it was yesterday. Thanks for sharing your feelings and that great picture of the orchid. Wish I could grow them outdoors in N. California. Barb Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fight Posted September 6, 2007 Share Posted September 6, 2007 Ned, Very well said! I really enjoyed reading it and what a beautiful orchid. I too look back on the last year and am often reminded of how much my life has changed and not all for the worse. I have a deep appreciation for all the day to day things in my life. Enjoying every moment! Take Care, Rachel Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Connie B Posted September 7, 2007 Share Posted September 7, 2007 First I want to CONGRATULATE you on your ONE YEAR! I didn't get that calm feeling after my lung surgery 12 years ago, but I did get that same feeling after my first heart surgery 4 years ago. I wake up every day and count my blessing. The orchid is as delightful as you are. Thank you for sharing it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ursol Posted September 7, 2007 Share Posted September 7, 2007 Ned, congratulations on the one year survivorship. Hoping you and your wife enjoy many more yearly orchid arrivals over coffee and the news. I too love to read your posts as they are filled with wisdom and calm. After a year with this disease, I am much calmer than I was in the beginning thanks to many folks on this board like yourself. Again, Mahalo and Aloha Lilly Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Don M Posted September 7, 2007 Share Posted September 7, 2007 What a nice moment Ned, and congratulations on your one year survivorship. Don M Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dadstimeon Posted September 9, 2007 Share Posted September 9, 2007 Congratulations Ned that is fantastic and many many more to come! Rich-- Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Patty Gottlieb Posted September 9, 2007 Share Posted September 9, 2007 Hi Ned: Thanks for sharing your interesting story and the picture of the unusual orchard from your neighbor! Hope your progress continues to improve. God bless, Patty Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
teriw Posted September 9, 2007 Share Posted September 9, 2007 Ned, Thanks for giving us that glimpse of your journey, and the beautiful pictures. And congratulations on your first year -- that's awesome. Many more to come... (But, why must surgeons do that -- the way they deliver news? Bill's did the same...) Aloha to you! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Leslie Posted September 27, 2007 Share Posted September 27, 2007 Ned-- As always, your words inspire and provide a moment of calm. Thank you. Congratulations on one year...you are truly a peaceful warrior. Best, Leslie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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