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We heard the dreaded words today

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The doctor told my sister that they have done all they can. The chemo is killing her. He doesn't want to give her anymore. He said he is focusing on keeping her comfortable at this point.

She took it very well..at least that is what she wants us to think. She told me what the doctor told her..then without a tear in her eye..She said she is not giving up. She made a will and sent it to her lawyer's office. She is an amazing person.

They are giving her a blood transfusion. Her blood count was really low. Also, her protien level was at 1 and I think it is supposed to be at least 5. She has fluid on her lungs.I don't know if this is cancer or what.

Her sons are coming in tonight. I got her last night and I will be spending the night with her at the hospital tonight so her husband can come and get some sleep.

My parents are numb..maybe a little bit in denial. I am trying really hard to hold it all together.

What do I say to her tonight? What does she need to hear?

It is 5:30 here..so I will probably go there around 7..If anyone knows what I should or should not say..please respond.

Thank you all for listening and for giving me an outlet. I am so appreciative to talk to anyone..especially those going through this or have gone through this.

Love to all,


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I don't think there is any "right" answer on what you should say... I think the more important thing for you to do is to let her talk and listen to all she has to say. When someone receives this type of news, I imagine there is so much that they NEED to say, things that she may feel comfortable sharing with only you.

I will give you one bit of advice - don't let anything go unsaid - tell her how much you love her, tell her how scared you are, its okay to do that. I will be praying for you both. God Bless. Love, Sharon

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This post is probably too late for you tonight, but I hope your visit goes well. I'm so sorry for the news.

The advice to just be there and listen is great. If she talks about fighting and getting stronger, just encourage her. The truth is, none of us ever knows what's going to happen until it does.

I have a feeling Bev will be quite strong and maintain her great sense of humor. Enjoy that with her. Tell her what she means to you as a sister, and how much you love her.

Tell her that all of us here are so proud of her strength and bravery.

Just be yourself.

We love you,

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Oh Bobby,

Reading this post, I feel like I'm reliving one year ago. First off, Be grateful that you are there with Bev. Hold her, talk to her continuously, whether she responds or not. Tell her how very much she means to you and your family. And please make sure that she is always with someone she loves.

Sending prayers for you and Bev. Ellie

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what to say?

SAY it all! say everything in your heart that you want to say! say how she makes you feel, how much you love her, what inspires you... anything you need! then LISTEN to everything she needs to say cause she'll want to say so many things and they may not be the most comfortable things to hear but she needs to say them and have someone to say them to!

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I am sorry that your sister has gotten to this point. She says she isn't giving up - so the best thing that you can do is support her and listen to her. My husband never talked about anything else but hope. So we didn't talk about what if. By the time it got to the point that him not getting better was inevitable his brain met had doubled and he was hallucinating. Just at the beginning of that I talked to him and asked him if he was ok with everything if it didn't work out (sounds like a dumb question) - and he said yes for him but he was worried about me and the kids - I told him it would be ok and that we would be ok. The doctor said that he needed to know - that he needed to feel that if he was going to go that it would be ok. There is a fine line of watching and supporting someone who is in pain and suffering and wanting them to go on for yourself. I hope I am making sense - I just know that the best you can do is help her to feel comfortable and at ease and secure. My best to you and your brother in law and family. Heather

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