Bev'sSister Posted October 10, 2007 Share Posted October 10, 2007 The doctor told my sister that they have done all they can. The chemo is killing her. He doesn't want to give her anymore. He said he is focusing on keeping her comfortable at this point. She took it very well..at least that is what she wants us to think. She told me what the doctor told her..then without a tear in her eye..She said she is not giving up. She made a will and sent it to her lawyer's office. She is an amazing person. They are giving her a blood transfusion. Her blood count was really low. Also, her protien level was at 1 and I think it is supposed to be at least 5. She has fluid on her lungs.I don't know if this is cancer or what. Her sons are coming in tonight. I got her last night and I will be spending the night with her at the hospital tonight so her husband can come and get some sleep. My parents are numb..maybe a little bit in denial. I am trying really hard to hold it all together. What do I say to her tonight? What does she need to hear? It is 5:30 here..so I will probably go there around 7..If anyone knows what I should or should not say..please respond. Thank you all for listening and for giving me an outlet. I am so appreciative to talk to anyone..especially those going through this or have gone through this. Love to all, Bobby Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sharyn Posted October 10, 2007 Share Posted October 10, 2007 I don't think there is any "right" answer on what you should say... I think the more important thing for you to do is to let her talk and listen to all she has to say. When someone receives this type of news, I imagine there is so much that they NEED to say, things that she may feel comfortable sharing with only you. I will give you one bit of advice - don't let anything go unsaid - tell her how much you love her, tell her how scared you are, its okay to do that. I will be praying for you both. God Bless. Love, Sharon Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
laban Posted October 10, 2007 Share Posted October 10, 2007 Listen and Love! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nova Posted October 10, 2007 Share Posted October 10, 2007 I'm sorry.... I can't imagine what you're going thru. I've only been doing this cancer thing for about 9 months, so I have no advice at all . I just wish you all peace and comfort. Love and prayers coming your way, Nova Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
teriw Posted October 10, 2007 Share Posted October 10, 2007 Bobby, This post is probably too late for you tonight, but I hope your visit goes well. I'm so sorry for the news. The advice to just be there and listen is great. If she talks about fighting and getting stronger, just encourage her. The truth is, none of us ever knows what's going to happen until it does. I have a feeling Bev will be quite strong and maintain her great sense of humor. Enjoy that with her. Tell her what she means to you as a sister, and how much you love her. Tell her that all of us here are so proud of her strength and bravery. Just be yourself. We love you, Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RandyW Posted October 11, 2007 Share Posted October 11, 2007 Listen Share and Love. Remember yesterday, Cherish today and Pray for tomorrow. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sis Posted October 11, 2007 Share Posted October 11, 2007 Oh Bobby, Reading this post, I feel like I'm reliving one year ago. First off, Be grateful that you are there with Bev. Hold her, talk to her continuously, whether she responds or not. Tell her how very much she means to you and your family. And please make sure that she is always with someone she loves. Sending prayers for you and Bev. Ellie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
patscan Posted October 11, 2007 Share Posted October 11, 2007 My heart goes out to you and your family. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shineladysue Posted October 11, 2007 Share Posted October 11, 2007 Bobby, Just want you to know that you, your sister and your family are in my prayers. Sue Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Calintay Posted October 11, 2007 Share Posted October 11, 2007 Bobbi Many prayers for your family right now. Sometimes saying nothing is what is natural and that is okay. Your presence and her presence is what is important and spending time together is what will be great for the both of you. I am so sorry! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lc46 Posted October 11, 2007 Share Posted October 11, 2007 Oh Bobby-I am so sad to read this post. I don't know what to say. You are all in my thoughts and prayers. Dar Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
carolhg Posted October 11, 2007 Share Posted October 11, 2007 My prayers for you, your sister and family. Carol Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Treebywater Posted October 11, 2007 Share Posted October 11, 2007 Bobby, I'm so sorry Bev is to this point. Just be there with her... and let her lead the way on what to talk about. She's so lucky to have a sister as amazing as you. We're here praying for you and supporting you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kaneohegirl Posted October 11, 2007 Share Posted October 11, 2007 what to say? SAY it all! say everything in your heart that you want to say! say how she makes you feel, how much you love her, what inspires you... anything you need! then LISTEN to everything she needs to say cause she'll want to say so many things and they may not be the most comfortable things to hear but she needs to say them and have someone to say them to! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dadstimeon Posted October 11, 2007 Share Posted October 11, 2007 Very sorry Bobbie-- Prayers for Beverly, you and your family. Rich Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fillise Posted October 11, 2007 Share Posted October 11, 2007 Bobby, I saw this article in CURE and thought it might help. http://www.curetoday.com/currentissue/d ... index.html I'm sorry you are in this place, but please know we will be here to help you through it. Susan Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Don M Posted October 11, 2007 Share Posted October 11, 2007 Bobby, I am sorry you all have to cross that dreaded threshold. I guess you don't have to say anything if it comes to that. Just sitting quietly with your sister may be enough. But if she wants to talk,listen and respond. Don M Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
flwrjunke Posted October 11, 2007 Share Posted October 11, 2007 Bobby, I'm so sorry for what is happening. Just continue to be with her. Your family is in my prayers. Patty Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Judy-OK Posted October 11, 2007 Share Posted October 11, 2007 Prayers for all of you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sonia Owen Posted October 12, 2007 Share Posted October 12, 2007 My prayers sre with you like so many others tonight.Take are Love Sonia UK Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nick C Posted October 14, 2007 Share Posted October 14, 2007 Bobby, sorry I am late to respond. Just take your cues from her. She'll let you know what she wants. She's just that strong right? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hockeyma Posted October 15, 2007 Share Posted October 15, 2007 Hi I am sorry that your sister has gotten to this point. She says she isn't giving up - so the best thing that you can do is support her and listen to her. My husband never talked about anything else but hope. So we didn't talk about what if. By the time it got to the point that him not getting better was inevitable his brain met had doubled and he was hallucinating. Just at the beginning of that I talked to him and asked him if he was ok with everything if it didn't work out (sounds like a dumb question) - and he said yes for him but he was worried about me and the kids - I told him it would be ok and that we would be ok. The doctor said that he needed to know - that he needed to feel that if he was going to go that it would be ok. There is a fine line of watching and supporting someone who is in pain and suffering and wanting them to go on for yourself. I hope I am making sense - I just know that the best you can do is help her to feel comfortable and at ease and secure. My best to you and your brother in law and family. Heather Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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