luvmydad Posted October 30, 2007 Share Posted October 30, 2007 I have come to LCSC everyday since I found out my dad has lc and am always so proundly impressed with everyones strenth on these posts. But I don't have the strength that you all have. I can barely make myself go see my dad because I can't stand to watch this happen to him. And his journey has barely begun. I don't know how to get through each day. It is like I am in a nightmare I can't wake from. This happens to other peoples families, not mine!!! I am so full of guilt about how I am handling all this. I want to be there for dad because I know that I will regret it if I am not, but I don't know how. I am so consumed with an overwhelming fear that I am going to get it to that I can't function. I don't want to watch this happen to dad and then know what I am going to go through when I get it. Then to take it one step further I am worried about my 14 year old sons future as well. Am I alone in this selfish fear? How do you all make yourselves function on a daily basis? I am so envious of the strength I feel from everyones post and feel like I am such a loser in how I am handling this. I can't imagine that the rest of my life is going to feel this way. I feel like my entire life is over. Cancer SUCKS. Sorry to bring everyone down, just had to get it out. Having a really bad day today. Dad goes for 2nd bronchoscopy tomorrow to determine whether in the lymph node or not since first one came back neg, but PET scan lights lymph node up. God, I never thought I would be talking about bronchoscopys, or PET scans in my life. Teresa Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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