rogfam Posted April 12, 2008 Share Posted April 12, 2008 My uncle chose to end his lc battle, which was drawing very near the end, himself today. I came here to vent a bit. I loved him, did all he would let me do for him, as did my parents and his sister that lived near by. He was retired air force, never married or had kids. He was a very different man, while very thoughtful in some ways, very hard in others. His opinion was the right one. Up until the end he still griped at my dad if he got Bounty paper towels instead of Brawny, or whatever.. Why be so hard and cold, especially to the ones who are trying their best to take care of you. Hospice had approached my uncle a cpl days ago with the question of "what are you going to do when you're not able to care for yourslef?" With the VA home being brought up, my uncle refused to speak of it. My daddy assured him he would take care of him at home as long as he could! This man had controled every aspect of his life, how on earth could he give it up now??? And he didn't. He chose to end his own life, shot himself in the chest, either last night or this mornng, not sure yet. But one thing I do know is this. HE KNEW MY DADDY WOULD FIND HIM!! Damnit, why not take all them pills sitting on the counter??? I know he was suffering, and I don't blame him one bit, but why did he have to shoot himself?? My poor dad will forever have that image in his mind now!!! He had a notebook, with things like, 'my funeral suit is in the closet, it's marked.' He told which casket he wanted. I wish he coulda left a note, saying anything, but how bout I'm SORRY, or thank you for all you've done, but..., Or I love you bro, but I have to do this! I'm heartbroken, and yet I'm angry! I'm hurting, but just in shock that he ended this way! Thanks for letting me vent. I love and pray for you all even though I don't hang out here much these days. Christy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ry Posted April 12, 2008 Share Posted April 12, 2008 Oh Christy...how horrible. What a devastating thing for your family. I am so sorry. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Welthy Posted April 12, 2008 Share Posted April 12, 2008 (((Christy))), My sincere sympathy goes out to your entire family. Such a tragedy. May God be with you and comfort you. Welthy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Barbb Posted April 12, 2008 Share Posted April 12, 2008 Christy, How devastating for all of you. My heart goes especially to your dad. Barb Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shineladysue Posted April 12, 2008 Share Posted April 12, 2008 Ohh Christy, this is such sad ,tragic news. I am so very sorry for the pain and heartache this has caused your family, but I can only imagine your uncle must have been suffering too, mentally and physically, to have done such an awful thing. May God be with you and your family during this painful and difficult time . Hugs, Sue Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Patkid Posted April 12, 2008 Share Posted April 12, 2008 Just prayers from here. Just many many prayers. P Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jyoung20 Posted April 12, 2008 Share Posted April 12, 2008 ((Christy)) I am sooo sorry!! Prayers for you friend!! Jamie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Don M Posted April 12, 2008 Share Posted April 12, 2008 I'm sorry Christy. Don M Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Flyman35 Posted April 12, 2008 Share Posted April 12, 2008 Such tragic news. I am so sorry. Denise Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Leela Posted April 13, 2008 Share Posted April 13, 2008 (((Christy))) Wishing you and your family peace. Lisa Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nick C Posted April 13, 2008 Share Posted April 13, 2008 Christy, I'm sorry. Horrible for all involved. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
teriw Posted April 13, 2008 Share Posted April 13, 2008 (((Christy))) I'm so sorry -- what a horrible thing. I can't even begin to imagine what that was like for your dad. Can't imagine the pain your uncle felt to take that action. I'm sorry your family has to go through this. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fillise Posted April 13, 2008 Share Posted April 13, 2008 Christy, I am so sorry you are having to deal with the anger on top of your grief. Please know that we are here for you. Susan Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
J.C. Posted April 13, 2008 Share Posted April 13, 2008 Christy, My deepest sympathy to you and your family. His way of showing love was with criticizing those he loved. He must have been a very lonely man in his own inside life. Hope you father get comfort and peace Jackie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CaroleHammett Posted April 13, 2008 Share Posted April 13, 2008 Christy: I am so sorry for you and your family--not just for the loss of your uncle, but for the way he chose to go. I have no compunctions or moral/ethical issues about lung cancer patients who choose to end their lives early, but what a dreadful shame for all of you that he chose anything other than pills, injections, patches, etc. Unfortunately, he probably saw his choice of weapon as SOP ("standard operating policy") due to his military service. Carole Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rogfam Posted April 19, 2008 Author Share Posted April 19, 2008 I just can't thank you all enough. Your words are so comforting, at a time like this, not much is, and you've made me feel a little peace. It's still so unreal. We've been to his house, doing things that need to be done.. so weird.. Where's Robert?? He should be sitting in that chair!! My daddy is dealing best he can, I know he cries when he gets down time, who wouldn't.. We'll be ok, life goes on.. I'm not sure how it does, but I know it does.. He had a beautiful service on Monday with the Air Force Honor Guard. He had many medals and awards. I think TAPS is the saddest song on earth. He would've loved it. My grandpa has lost two sons and a wife in the last three years.. I know I can come here and express myself anytime, and that helps so much. Again, you're all a blessing to me. Love and prayers for us all, Christy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sharyn Posted April 19, 2008 Share Posted April 19, 2008 Christy sweetie this is just horrible news. Your Uncle had obviously felt he had no other choice but to end his life, but, like you said, he could have done it more "peacefully". Your father will unfortunately carry that image with him forever. I am praying for you all. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Patti B Posted April 20, 2008 Share Posted April 20, 2008 (((Christy))) I don't know what to say - sorry seems like such a small word. I can only hope that your dad and you can find some peace. I hate this disease and what it does to people and their families. I will remember you and yours in my prayers. Please come here whenever you need to. Wishing you strength and peace - Patti B. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tiredmom959 Posted April 20, 2008 Share Posted April 20, 2008 So sorry to hear this ... although I can't say I blame people in situations for doing this, in a way it's selfish not to think of those you're leaving behind and even the legacy you leave with the family. My best friend that I grew up with, her dad was dying from prostrate/colon cancer. He was NOT going to get well or beat the disease and his time left was limited. However, his family thought they had some time left with him. He couldn't walk unassisted, but one night he somehow got himself down to the basement and did the same thing. No note left, nothing. My friend alternates between sadness and anger, and any and all happy memories of her life will constantly be clouded by the situation. When I bring up happy memories of our childhood with her dad (he was such a funny, fun-loving man who was like a second father to me) she can't enjoy them and I can see it in her eyes. She misses him at time, but at other times, thinks "how DARE you do that to me, MY kids and generations to come". It's a tough thing and I'm so sorry to hear your family has to go through it as well. Prayers for your father especially. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Littlegirl Posted April 21, 2008 Share Posted April 21, 2008 I'm so sorry to hear about this. Anger and grief all at the same time! Karen Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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