Jerrye Posted May 14, 2004 Share Posted May 14, 2004 Hi everyone, On Monday, I am going to a new onc for a 2nd opinion(my thanks to Cheryl for the recommendation). At first I felt a lttle silly changing drs after 4 months of treatment until I started reading copies of the reports that I am sending to the new onc. All of her reports start out as "unfortunate 44 yo female..." Sorry, but that really hit me the wrong way! Unfortunate is breaking a fingernail, not lung cancer. I also found out from the path report that no testing was ordered to determine if this is a primary or secondary tumor. (does this mean that it could be a met from some other kind of cancer?) I got more information from the path and CT scan reports than I ever received from the onc. My onc never seemd to answer any of my questions directly. I guess in her mind, I am "NSCLC Stage IV" not a person named Jerrye. Come to think of it, I do not recall her ever calling me by name. Also, a cash cow, since she wants me to continue to receive the chemo that is not working since it is the textbook chemo for LSCLC. I had a good cry about this and have almost recovered from an afternoon of the "blues". It is tough enough fighting this disease with emotional support. The last thing I need is an onc that treats "by the textbook". Thanks for hearing me out. I was having a down day and needed someone to listen. My husband is very supportive, but after he read the "unfortunate female" he lost it and was madder that I have ever seen him. Thanks for listening. Jerrye Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Don Wood Posted May 14, 2004 Share Posted May 14, 2004 Jerrye, don't just get a second opinion -- change doctors! You are not getting the care you deserve. Don Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ry Posted May 14, 2004 Share Posted May 14, 2004 Jerrye, The first oncologist we saw was also a putz. He had a very hard time looking John in the eye or talking to John. He would direct all his questions to me as if John wasn't there. On top of that the man looked just like Captain Kangaroo, hair cut and all, and I had a hard time taking him seriously. Anyway, we switched to another doctor and liked him somewhat better but when he was gone one day we were referred to a different oncologist that we just loved. We have stuck with him ever since. So keep trying, you'll find someone that fits. Rochelle Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jerrye Posted May 14, 2004 Author Share Posted May 14, 2004 Don and Ry, thanks for the reply. My old onc is history even if the new onc is an ogre (which I doubt since I got the recommendation from Cheryl and she seems to like him alot) Also, the new onc is at Baylor where they are doing the GVAX trials. Jerrye Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
S. Jane Posted May 14, 2004 Share Posted May 14, 2004 Sounds like you finally found the right person for you. I hope you are treated better. Jane Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cathy Posted May 14, 2004 Share Posted May 14, 2004 Jerry, All I have to add is good for you for changing oncs..Hopefully this new one knows a little more than the last one...Or at least explains what is going on a little more thorough... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
-Cheryl- Posted May 14, 2004 Share Posted May 14, 2004 Ahh Jerrye, I am sorry you are down. It could be the chemo and radiation getting to you. I wish that I could be there with you on the day you see Dr. Denham. And if you don't like him, it will not hurt my feelings if you fire him. I think you will be satisfied with him though. Don't forget the basement cafateria. I actually looked forward to chemo because of the great food!!!! I never was much of a breakfast eater, but their hash browns are awsome! A was so limited to what could eat then, but some how I found my appetite for them! Plus I love to shop at Ross for bargins on the way back to Greenville. Make a day of it. I will be thinkng of you on the 17th right? Please Pm me or call. Keeping you in my prayers, Cheryl Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jamie Posted May 14, 2004 Share Posted May 14, 2004 Jerrye, You did the right thing by switching. Smart girl you are. Wish my Dad would have the b*lls to do the same... Keep your head up Jamie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lisa O Posted May 14, 2004 Share Posted May 14, 2004 Jerry, I am so sorry your onc has been so cold. Thank heavens you got a second opinion. I hope this one really changes things for you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Margaret Posted May 14, 2004 Share Posted May 14, 2004 Jerrye, You absolutely are doing the right thing...you must have a partner in fighting this disease. When I read Dr. Groopman's "The Anatomy of Hope," I realized that even good oncologists struggle with the way to approach patients with such serious disease. However, his growth through the process and his conclusions as to the importance of hope definitely validated my decisions about finding a different doctor. It's your life and the most important part of this process...no matter how your future treatments progress, you'll feel more in control and more confident of what is happening. Blessings, Margaret Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Snowflake Posted May 14, 2004 Share Posted May 14, 2004 Jerrye, Maybe you should send a note to your UNFORTUNATE ex-doctor and explain how FORTUNATE you were to be able to switch horses in the race...because, FORTUNATELY, you are a human being and your brain is STILL functioning, because FORTUNATELY, LC doesn't eat away at your smarts like Alzheimer's... The only UNFORTUNATE thing for you is four months spent in a vacuum of negative pressure... I'm glad your FORTUNES are turning and you are moving on to someone who just might write "Pleasant female patient seen, excellent humor. Discussion of treatment plan as follows:...." Oh, my doctor doesn't ALWAYS write that, sometimes she says "VERY pleasant..." lol Keep going, girl. Take the pissin'/moanin'/kickin' the dawg (figuratively) time you need, hitch up your bra straps, square your shoulders and set your mind to whip this beast! You have my faith! Becky PS - Work on "happy", the weekend is almost upon us! (Hope it stops raining SOON!) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jamie Posted May 14, 2004 Share Posted May 14, 2004 Becky, Love it. You too, always CRACK ME UP!!! Jamie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stand4hope Posted May 14, 2004 Share Posted May 14, 2004 Hi Jerry, I can identify with how words can really STING. I read a report about me one time that said, "Well-nourished 53 year old female . . . ." Grrrrr!! I guess it was better than "overweight" or "fat", but why did he have to put it on there at all? I felt like writing him back and saying, "Double ugly doctor - you're fired!" Peggy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shelliemacs Posted May 14, 2004 Share Posted May 14, 2004 want me to beat up your old oncologist??? i have been wanting to show off my tae-bo techniques on some one. huh huh can I, can I. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jamie Posted May 14, 2004 Share Posted May 14, 2004 Shelly, Dont tell me your a Tae-Bo fan too!!! Ive been kickin butt with Billy for about 5 years!! Jamie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Andrea Posted May 14, 2004 Share Posted May 14, 2004 Jerrye, Kudos for switching oncologists! And ignore the beside manner of the second one. Drs can be v ery cranky Our onc was sooooo ogor like on my mom's first visit and so negative on her, he really scared us, but we heard he was the best, and we stuck with him and now it is like night and day, love him and he himself said we are doing better than he could have expected. Drs have that g-d like complex Also I think they have to use standard forms when they dictate reports and kind of fill in blanks. Don't pay too much attention to that. I once read a report from a neuro which said I was "a pleasant mild mannered 24 year old student". I was like how did he get pleasant from one short visit Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
karen335 Posted May 14, 2004 Share Posted May 14, 2004 Jerrye, Here's a boost for a better day! Don't let this doctor get you down. He works for YOU! If he doesn't then tell him you are sooooo FIRED! They seem to forget who the boss is here. Stand your ground and let him know you are your own advocate and this is your body and you don't appreciate his endearment remarks. You have feelings too. Glad to hear Cheryl referred you to another doctor... Blessings and gentle hugs, Karen Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MO_Sugar Posted May 14, 2004 Share Posted May 14, 2004 Prayers and best wishes that this Dr. is THE Dr. for you! God Bless, MO Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Elaine Posted May 14, 2004 Share Posted May 14, 2004 Jerrye I don't blame you for being offended by that adjective. I hope the new doc is better. You all know me: I do have one quesion. Why do Doctors use adjectives in the first place--why not objective facts like gender , age etc.??? I can't imagine NOT being offended by the use of any adjective by someone who has only spent a short time with me. Which makes me want to check my adjectives--cranky, over bearing, patient who asks way to many questions--lol Elaine Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stand4hope Posted May 14, 2004 Share Posted May 14, 2004 Shelly, Is your picture today an example of one of your "tae bo" techniques? Peggy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest bean_si (Not Active) Posted May 14, 2004 Share Posted May 14, 2004 Wow Jerrye, changing oncs after 4 months takes courage. Bravo for you. Hip Hip Hooray for a CHAMP! Cat Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
J.C. Posted May 14, 2004 Share Posted May 14, 2004 Jerrye, The best for you next week, you did well in changing oncologist, they learn to cure, not to talk, it should be both, but too many are short of words or have a very poor vocabulary. I have a big badge that I wear the first time I see a new doctor **To You It's a JOB.... **To Me It's MY LIFE** and since I do that, I get what I want, good treatment and doctors that are able to speak to me. J.C. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MommaL Posted May 14, 2004 Share Posted May 14, 2004 I am sure that you will receive better care. I know everyone says this---but it is a roller coaster ride and you are on the right track now! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jerrye Posted May 17, 2004 Author Share Posted May 17, 2004 Just returned from the appt with the new onc. HUGE difference. I think he is a keeper. Actually discussed treatment options with me! What a novel concept! The man actually chuckled at one of my stupid jokes. Could this be a new medical life form? A human being? And the medical staff... they were actually friendly and smiling! I feel as if I have just emerged from cancer treatment purgatory. Needless to say, I will not be going back to the old onc. Will call in the morning and cancel all appts. Peggy the old onc is double ugly, she looks alot like the princess ogre in SHREK. Shelly, if you want to kick some a**, be my guest, I'll be happy to give you directions to my old onc's office. Elaine, perhaps the new onc will describe me as "exceptionally beautiful 45 yo female who looks awesome bald" Looks like I will complete my last 3 radiation treatments and wait 3-4 weeks to rescan, then start taxotere. Wow! I have 3 weeks to recover and get some energy back! Thanks Cheryl for the recommendation, I look forward to trying the hashbrowns! Thanks to everyone for the support. I am FORTUNATE to receive such good advice from such a caring group of people! Jerrye Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Don Wood Posted May 18, 2004 Share Posted May 18, 2004 Glad your transition turned out happily. You deserve it. Don Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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