Creekgirl,
I truly know how you feel right now. I know my head was spinning non-stop when my cancer came back and spread. There are just no words to explain the experience. Go ahead and freak out, scream, holler, cry, scream, holler, and then some more crying. I really think going through all the emotions is good therapy.
Try not to focus on the docs time frame. I am a stage iv survivor of 3 years and almost a 5 year survivor of lc. I just had my pet scan and I am still doing good on Avastin and Tarceva. My doc doesn't know how long I will continue to respond to treatment, but in the meantime I am taking advantage of every day! You can live with stage iv disease.
I will keep you in my prayers. Let us know what your new treatment plan will be.
Wendy