natalie

Fay, You were there for me on my first day on the board 3 years ago. I just want you to know that I admire and respect you so much. You are such a strong person. You are amazing. I send my warm thoughts your way and will pray that you have comfortable days filled with feelings of love and respect.

oh my gosh. I'm stunned. My heartfelt wishes to Fay and her family. She is one heck of a fighter.

Karen, Will have you in my prayers Feb 13th. I put it on my calendar. Best wishes for a smooth surgery and speedy recovery.

Cheryl! If you are reading this, you are in my thoughts. I'm so sorry that you are continually having to fight this disease. Just want you to know that I'm thinking of you and just the other day, as a matter of fact, was wondering how you were doing. Please post to give us an update on how you are doing.

I once tried to bring it up with my mom. I said, "Mom if you ever want to discuss your thoughts and fears about..." and trailed, letting her lead the way, but she responded with a "you've got to be kidding me" "um...Nooooo". I left it at that and never brought it up again. She once initiated a "what if" conversation, but it was really general. I think that it's better for some people not to discuss it. You did the right thing. I wished I never brought it up to my mom and regret it...so I honestly can tell you with reassurance that you did the right thing.

Hi Karen! I've been checking in now and again, its just so hard to keep up with the posts...there are so many. I'm so sorry to hear that you have to go through brain scans and tests. I will definitely keep you in my thoughts. Do you play golf? There is a member of my group here in Sacramento that is bringing a golf tournament to the Pasadena area. Is that close to Corona? He just secured a date. It will be on a Monday in September. When I get the exact date I will post it for the So Cal people. My husband and I are going to try to go out there. ...and yes, Andrea S...you are already on my volunteer list for this event in Southern California...bet you didn't know that! ha!ha!

As some of you know, after my mom passed, I started getting involved on a local level with www.ramosfoundation.org. The Ramos Foundation just merged with another local group called "LEGACY Lung Cancer Support Group". LEGACY provides emotional and moral support for families and caregivers here in the Sacramento area. LEGACY was founded by a wonderful woman, Carol. Carol is currently battling lung cancer, and when diagnosed last year, she could not find any local support groups designated toward lung cancer. As vigilant as she is, she decided to start a local support group on her own. It is almost exactly a year ago since LEGACY's inception and they now have approximately 50 people that meet two times a week. During their meetings, special guest speakers are invited to give presentations on such matters as diet, Social Security, financial assistance, clinical trials, and more. The sessions are co-facilitated by a licenses clinical social worker who is also available for individual consultation. The meetings take place the 2nd and 4th Wednesdays of each month from 10:30am - 12 noon at the UC Davis Cancer Center, 4501 X Street, Sacramento. LEGACY also offers phone support by calling 877-803-0544 x 702. Legacy will also assist anyone wanting to establish a support group in their area. I told Carol about this website the other day and hoping that she introduces herself. She is one courageous, upbeat, creative and motivated individual. Her husband is equally as great.

Wow, I didn't realize that other people felt this way. I'm actually normal! phew! I thought it would be easier the second time around on New Years, but it wasn't. It feels like I'm leaving my mom behind. I don't feel that its a cause of celebration. It light of the pain, I make a joke out of it. My husband and friends think I'm just not a "New Years" person. Last year when the clock rolled midnight, I acted like I was busy in the kitchen.

That I can't "fix" everything. Not to sweat the small stuff. That I'm stronger than I thought. That the love my mom and I shared goes to the depth of my soul...it was then that I truly understood the meaning of what love is.

Carleen, I sincerely sit here and in awe of your strength and admire your relationship. Not only are you an externally gorgeous looking couple, inside you express such beautiful people and just in awe of your strength and loving nature. With that being said, you are being faced with such a difficult situation. I look at what I've come to know of you in the 3 years I've been on this board. What I do know is that you are a nuturing person. You are also a loving, caring, kind, thoughful, wonderful human being. No child is going to grow up in the perfect environment...no one can be the perfect parent....but you and Keith have a strong foundation for parenthood and as you already know, you'll make wonderful parents. You will make a wonderful mother, no matter what happens. There are plenty of screwed up people that can have 10 kids, live on welfare, and their kids still make it okay. If you decide to do this, we can have a fundraiser on your behalf. I'll be one of the first people to donate to your situation. Who knows...having a child might be part of Keith's story...maybe God wants a little Keith to walk this earth. Maybe it will give Keith something to look forward to. I know realistic, we are suppose to be thinking of our futures at this age, etc...but you never know the cards you are going to be dealt. I would also sit and talk with your doctor about your options, your concerns, maybe they will help make the decision easier...or they might be able to direct you to funding resources. They may even be kind enough to do it probono...do they ever do that? Carleen, you are so in my thoughts. You and Keith. Praying for you guys all the time. We are here for you whatever you decide. Hugs Hugs Hugs

Hey Andrea, Hey buddy! Am I too late to order one? I really have been meaning to do this...I'm such a slacker. I haven't been on the boards as much.

Holly, That is so touching and moving. I felt a big lump in my throat reading your post. I've read your posts and so sorry you have to be here and I'm so so sorry that your wonderful mother has to go through this. I understand your posts so much and have been there and can just relate just so much It makes me miss my mom, but you just reminded me of to what extent I loved my mom. No one can take that love away. I could have written the same things to her. What blessed children we are.

I'm so sorry that you have to go through this. Your mom is probably just plain raging mad and doesn't know who to take it out on. She may also feel like she's burdening you. My mom was much more comfortable asking and demanding my Dad for things than she was asking her "daughter". She may feel alone having to deal with the disease...all the feelings that come with the disease. Someone going through it might be better able to give you advice than me but I saw your distress and wanted to write to you to let you know that I know that feeling. You are terribly worried, you don't know the right things to do, etc. Cancer is a huge stress on a family and makes people react in ways that aren't their normal way of acting. My mom would have vulnerable moments and I realized that most of it was after not having a good nights sleep, after taking a good dose of pills and after being frustrated from not being able to tie her own shoes. If I were you, I'd show up anyway...and make a reason for showing up, like you had something you had to bring her or you are just stopping by to have dinner, or you missed her and wanted to say hello. You can play the games too...by that time, things might have cooled off and it will be an easy transition for them to go to their poker game. Things change from hour to hour...haven't you been furiously mad and then about two hours later you realize how ridiculous it was but then you are too embarrassed to admit it to that person you might have been mad at? I'm so sorry. I know how draining and emotional it is. We are here for you. Let us know how it goes.

Thinking of you.

Oh Shelly...thank you for responding. I'm glad to hear from you. I assumed you were angry because I would expect you to be. Don't apologize for unloading. I'm so glad you are getting it out. Maybe we can ask Katie and Rick to have a "vent, angry" Forum (j/k katie and rick). I sure would chime in too. I'm angry and cynical too and I haven't even had close to the amount of devastation that you have had. Maybe there is a bigger plan for you...maybe you need your time to grieve, be angry and cynical for a few years...and then find a reason behind it. You are a different person now than you were before...I know you grieve your old life. I think it's going to take a while to have that clarity of a purpose, but maybe you will be a better parent because of it, stronger marriage, have a clearer understanding of life, write a book about your experiences, grief counselor, motivational speaker or cancer activist. Your situation reminds me a lot of Caroline Kennedy's. You are a strong woman Shelly. You WILL get through this. Lean on that husband of yours. Maybe take a nature road trip together. Notice the color in the flowers, smell of some clean air...(I don't know, but in the movies it seems to help people feel more connected with heaven and their loved ones.) Please write your feelings and get it out. If you need to PM me your feelings, please do it. We are here for you anytime!

I haven't seen Shellymac post in a long time. Anyone have an update? Shelly, I know that you were dealt with, yet again, some devastating news a few months ago and you seem to have disappeared since. I just want you to know that I'm thinking and praying for you and your sister and that we are here for you.

Kathi, I'm so so sorry. Animals are so unconditionally loving...of course it would be hard for you. You are a compassionate sole...it's unselfish to do what you've done. Just think, your Dad now has your cat as a special companion. I will pray that you will get the strength to get through this. Thinking of you.

I'll make sure to implement jean day on November 4th! I've done it before at my office and it's very successful. I make everyone pay $5.00. In regards to a celebrity sponsor...I saw a public service announcement with Trisha Yearwood on lung cancer. She lost both grandparents to lung cancer. Just to see something like that in the midst of all of the breast cancer awareness was suprising and hopeful. I look at all the wonderful things they have done with breast cancer awareness and it is inspiring. The power of women is amazing! I'm hopeful that some day that we will have that same amount of awareness. I was a part of that event in Folsom! It was great and fun! I agree with you Hebbie...I can't believe there aren't other events in California. We were going to do a walk in November, but with weather conditions, we decided to do August instead. (It rained on us last year). If anyone is interested in doing a walk in your area, we are interested in helping you implement that. We are a 501©3 non-profit, public charitable foundation. Please check out www.ramosfoundation.org or email me at natalieh44@msn.com Our immediate goal is to raise $250,000 to put towards lung cancer research grants. We have had discussions with UCLA and they will appoint a group of professionals to determine which are the most promising treatments to dedicate our grants to. Good luck to everyone!

Joyce, You are in my thoughts. I will pray that you can find the strength and peace you may need to get through this difficult journey.

I'm so sorry Starr. Prayers being said for you right now.

Happy New Year! You and your mom deserve a better year! Love ya!

Way to go! Good luck with this. Email me some info on it and I'll sponsor you!

Hi Jamie, I also want to pass on some info for you. We just did a golf fundraiser today and had a silent auction. We found a company called Charity Works. They gave us mostly sports memorabelia and handle items on consignment. They set the pricing and bidding increments for you. They set a price that they need to get back for their cost, but then anything over and beyond that, the charity gets. Ours was pretty successful today. I don't know if the particular company we used would do this out of the general Sacramento area, but I'm thinking there may be a similar company that offers the same type of thing. Golf courses in your area might be able to give you a name of someone that can help you in a similar fashion. They provided us great items. We had a signed autograph picture of Joe Montana, Rat Pack, Beatles, etc. Also, some of the NFL, NBA organizations will provide you with one signed item if you write to them on charity letterhead. The Sacramento Kings gave us two items to auction off that were signed by their big players. Good luck!

Hi Joyce! Yes, as I understand it, this bill that is referenced is a California bill. If I find out how other states can participate, I'll let you know. Thank you!

I'm definitely not a golfer! I try to golf, but I'm really bad at it. I'm going to the event, but as a volunteer. Katie, if you want to email me a flyer, I'll make multiple copies and put them in the goodie bags. Thanks!