Remembering Dave

Jen, your post was like a sucker punch to the gut. First of all DON'T GIVE UP. LOOK AT DAVE. HE'S ON HIS SECOND ROUND OF METS, HIS THIRD BOUT OF SCLC, AND HE'S STILL FIGHTING. Why Tarceva? Isn't that just for NSCLC? Dave AND Addie are using topotecan, for their SCLC mets, and it seems to be working for both of them. ASK YOUR ONCO DOC ABOUT THAT PLEASE!! Dave has mets to his lower spine, pelvic bone AND left hip, and the topotecan seems to be working on them. He also had a liver met and they think it's gone already, the scans were done after he'd only had three out of 12 treatments!!!! JEN, JEN, PLEASE DON'T GIVE UP. DO YOUR RESEARCH, DOUBLE CHECK YOUR OPTIONS, AND GO GET SECOND OPINIONS IF YOUR ONCO DOC WON'T CONSIDER THE OPTIONS. HANG IN THERE - ASK GOD FOR STRENGTH AND HE WILL GIVE IT TO YOU! Karen

I hope you and this young lady's family gets some answers, as some understanding may provide some relief. It's just awful for everyone involved, no doubt about it. They sound like a wonderful family and I pray they get through together. Karen

Shellie, I wish there was something I could say or do that would take the hurt away or make it better but there isn't. I feel so bad for you, and for your husband and their whole entire family. this is just awful. please take care of yourselves, and TRUST IN THE LORD as He is the only one who will get you through this. Lots of love, Karen

Hi, Paddy, I saw that, but it works for me. still starts with a "k"! I'm so excited and jealous that you sold your house so quickly! And excited for your move! Karen

Ditto what Sharon said. Karen

I'm so very sorry for the loss of your mother. It is good she left so peacefully, but how tragic to lose her so unexpectedly. Thank you so much for letting us know. We all worry about folks when we don't hear from them after a short while. God Bless you and your family, and may your mother rest in peace with the Lord. The Chapman Family

A big hug to you, Frank. I hope all of this stuff straightens itself out and SOON. God Bless, Karen

I'm really shocked. I feel like I've been punched in the stomach. I look at your lovely photo and I can't believe this is happening to you. I'm praying and hoping that things reverse themselves. And remember what Betty says, every dawn is a victory! God Bless, Karen

Paddy, I think this is great. I don't like hot weather either, and your daughter Karen is a terrific person and your grandson sounds like a chip off his mom - and his Grandmom - and his Granddad's block, so to speak. You will be happier and of course David knows where you are, he's probably so happy that you are making this move. and I'm not surprised to hear how fast your house sold. The market is hot right now (everywhere but in Aylett, haha). Best of luck! Karen

Randi, I hope you are doing well. I actually just posted something under Family Members. God Bless your family and may your mother rest in peace with the Lord. Karen

I just saw this. how are you holding up? Is your mother gone now? you sound so strong, how can you be after losing your husband to LC and now your Mom? I so admire you! God Bless, Karen

Nancy, how awful! I must tell you, my favorite cousin, his fiance, with whom he has been living with for four years but she keeps putting off marriage - she had a mammagram a year ago and they saw something and recommended a biopsy - she didn't do it because she didn't have health insurance - he said, well, good time to get married, then we'll put you on my insurance - she put it off - all of it - finally got her own insurance - lump got so big she had to do something about it, so had "emergency" lumptectomy - so far everything looks good, clear margin, clear lymph nodes (still waiting on results of sentinel node) and so she may have gotten away from it. But I ask, how can an educated, professional woman, who's own fiance's sister died of breast cancer, put something like that off? well, hang in there. you're doing all you can. it's tough, isn't it? God Bless, Karen

Hi ya'll. didn't get on the computer much at home over the weekend 'cause it has a virus and Dave needs to fix it. The weekend wasn't that great. Took Faith to the party but she clung to me more than she should have, I was afraid she would, she does that all the time, even though she was around all her friends from school. I was feeling so down, really really down, and then yesterday my throat was scratchy and I realized I was getting a cold. Managed to get Dave to go to an open house yesterday, a for sale by owner, the house/yard was PERFECT for us and really beautiful, but we can't buy until we have a ratified contract and it was a little tiny bit more money than we really should pay, especially with Dave on disability, although we could get the mortgage and have plenty of down payment, just trying to restrain ourselves and buy much lower priced house so we'll have a really low mortgage payment, so I can start socking more money into my 401K and save for Faith's college, both have been put on hold since Dave was diagnosed two years ago. And sad to say, we are trying to find something I can easily manage on my own, financially and physically, if we lose Dave. so I'm at work today fighting a cold, still feeling down and a little bit miserable from it all. Anyway, my favorite Aunt, who is tons of fun, is coming to visit this weekend, and I'm going to spend the entire time running around with her, she loves shopping for bargains so that's what we'll do, and she is SUPER with kids, having six of her own and 12 grandkids, so Faith will have fun with her, too. I can't wait! Thanks for the support, everyone, Karen

Thanks, ya'll. I guess falling asleep every night in the recliner doesn't help. I try to relax a little before going to bed so I don't lay there and toss and turn with my mind reeling. then I end up dragging myself up to bed at 2 am or something. that's my fault. I need to find a better method. it's time for a good book I think. I have plenty of friends, but everyone has families and busy lives and it's hard to nail anyone down to do anything, and being so far out in the country doesn't help things either. It seems like people rally when bad news hits, then after you settle in the routine of the fight and the treatment, boredom sets in and they all drift off. I do have one good friend, a fairly new friend, a single mom of an adopted little chinese cutie six weeks younger than Faith, and I am trying to get together more with them for girlfriend dates. Faith and Kelly play really well together. I should hook up with them this weekend. Faith has a birthday party tomorrow morning, twins from her class, and I am actually looking forward to that. Hopefully she'll go and play and not cling to me like she does whenever I'm anywhere nearby. It would be fun to sit and talk with the other parents while she has fun. I'm just rambling. Dave managed to drag himself out of bed and meet me at our realtor's office, where we drew up a counteroffer to the offer presented to us on Monday. I felt bad for him because we sat in a stuffy conference room for 1.5 hours and he looked like he was going to pass out. I think this is going to work out. Supposedly the buyers need to sell rental property to buy our place, but they say it will sell fast and then they want to close fast with us (they're doing a tax exchange) and rent back to us until we find a house. that will be nice, because in the cutthroat house sales environment where we want to buy into, having a clean contract, an already approved mortgage and a huge chunk of down payment ready to be plunked down, we will have an edge over our competitors in the world of house buying. I hope our counteroffer works. I'm ready to move on in some respect, whether it is OUT of the world of cancer or into a new home! well, better run, got to finish something up in the next 30 minutes. Just thought I'd check back in. thanks for all the hugs and good thoughts! Karen p.s. I am trying to find a little time here at work to sit and do a little meditating with God (prayer), hopefully that will get me through . . .

I'm just worn out. I guess it being Friday doesn't help. and I'm more than a little bit lonely. Poor Dave, he just sits in the recliner and sleeps, or he can't get out of bed at all. sometimes I just want someone to talk to. My mom is too sick to be troubled with much, the chemo is really knocking her down. Now she has some serious blood clots in her legs, she had this 35 years ago when I was 11 or so, she was supposed to stay off her feet and was taking blood thinners and I found her in bed one morning after my Dad was at work, blue in the face and gasping for breath - a cloth had dislodged and gone to her lung - she was in the hospital for two weeks. So she's dealing with that again and it's bringing back memories from that day from when I was a little girl, so I'm scared and lonely and pretty much feeling like that little girl again, with no one to talk to. I'm just venting. that's all. no need to comment on my lack of patience, fortitude or anything else. I just don't have anywhere else to go right now but here. I miss my mom, and I miss my husband. I miss my two cousins that I could talk to about anything, who are both dead. My other cousin I can talk to about anything is dealing with the recent breast cancer diagnoses and emergency lumptectomy of his fiance. Faith is too little to understand anything of course. I suppose that's a good thing. Karen

Nancy, if he does have the lymphedema (fluid in arm because of armpit lymph nodes removed or damaged) he can get a compression sleeve that will help keep the fluid there under control. You might want to post this question under General where more people will see it. I know there have been others on this board with problems at their superior vena cava area. I think you need more answers from you onco doc. Do you have absolute confidence in him/her? If not you may want to find a second opinion on his treatment. Or switch altogether. He/she doesn't sound like they are giving you much hope or fighting very hard for you. A Stage IV diagnoses is not necessarily a death sentence. Take care and God Bless, Karen

Betty, we love you. I wish you had a better chair, but I suspect with that spine met that may be a little difficult to find. Sending good wishes your way, and letting you know how much we love you. Faith just blew you a kiss. God Bless, Karen

Peggy, so glad your husband is holding steady. He may be draggy this week because he overdid it a bit last week because he felt so well? Dave will do that. I will include your son in my prayers. I'm so sorry he's having to go through this. Lots of love and God Bless, Karen

WOW

All I have to say is, yes, Becky was a beautiful person physically and is now beautiful beyond belief in her soul. I love that photo of her, too. Karen

My grandmother lived up in the mountains of WV. About ten miles away was the land of the "homeplace" where she grew up. that property was landlocked and on the side of a small mountain. One time, when I was in my late 20's and she was in her early '80s I guess, we parked the car on the side of the one lane country road near the mountain and walked up to where their house had been. nothing was left but a pile of rocks where the front steps had been, and on either side of the rocks were some old old irises growing, the same ones that grew there when she was a child. so we dug up a bunch and brought them back with us, I took some to my mom and I planted some in the small flower garden on my condo patio and then when Dave and I built our house I dug them up and moved them to our house. When Grandma died, I dug some up from my house and planted them on either side of her marker. they're doing well. but she's in a small country cemetary with no rules. Kim, one thing I think you could do, is list the names of her children and grandchildren (well, if there might be future grandchildren maybe that would be a tough one) on her marker. take care, Kim Karen

I have read the thing about there being cancer in almost every person's body. It makes sense. we are imperfect beings. I guess the key thing is the trigger. Some of us have genes which are more prone to trigger the cancer, some of us are exposed to carcnigens (sp) that do it, some of us have both . . . and that is why it is so important to take care of our bodies, eat healthy, not use known poisons like cigs. of course you can do all that and still get cancer. I don't have an answer for the big cig debate. I used to think and part of me still thinks, that anything in moderation can't be that bad. there's no question that cigs are very addictive and that makes them pretty hard to use in moderation. Lots of us use alcohol in moderation and I see plenty of joking about it, but to some people alcohol is a pretty bad addiction as well (but no one wants another prohibition). There are alot of farmers down this way growing tobacco, which I understand is a very difficult crop to grow AND robs the soil of nutrients quickly, so the best first step I guess would be to encourage them to grow something else. Then gradually the entire cigarette industry, from the growers all the way up to the manufacturers/distributers, will go into another business until the whole thing is shut down. I guess. I dunno. The big debate. Karen

Ron is lucky to have such loving family as such powerful advocates. I firmly believe that every patient needs to have at least one strong advocate by their side at all times. Things falls through the cracks and only you and your spouse/partner/lover whoever the advocate is REALLY knows that is going on with you. Dave had a pericardial window in November. He wasn't anywhere near as SICK, but was so much better afterwards and it is a fairly simply procedure and very simple to diagnose. it makes me mad that Ron was overlooked like that. His niece is an angel and so is that cardiologist. He is what being a caring physician is all about. Good for him. This post really touched me. God Bless, Karen

You're a HUGE hero of mine, and I ditto everything Fay A. said. And don't you give up. Each dawn is a victory, right? Love, Karen

Beth - no moving twice, no way! And you know,THIS was our dream house! Our house on the river, we built it together. But it doesn't matter any more, and I am ready to give it up and focus on US. The contract was WEIRD to say the least. we mostly shook our heads and laughed at it. we will take it seriously and counter offer, but other than the pontoon boat it contained lots of weird contingencies that didn't really make any sense. So our realtor, James, wrote down all our questions (and his) and is going to talk to the other realtor today. We want to figure out what it is they WANT before we make a counteroffer so we can get close to the middle. They had written in all kinds of things like they wanted to close right away, after they sell their rental property in Florida, which isn't on the market yet, but will be soon (what is soon?) but then again, they might want to close and rent back to us, which would be doing us a big favor (why would it?). Strange stuff. either the realtor is an idiot or he's a terrible messenger boy for some strange folks. James must not have heard back from him yet since I haven't heard from james today. Compound all of this with Dave practically propped up at the table suffering from some intense chemo brain. poor thing. And I saw a new house on the market today that I liked, had a nice half acre lot, but no garage, but the asking price was low enough we could have one built. and I called Dave and tried to get him to look at it on the internet but he couldn't 'cause of the bad chemo brain so I'm sitting here with no one to get excited with. Poor me (ha). Everything will fall into place at just the right time, I am sure. Sounds like we need to throw a farewell to Chapman Acres party with pontoon boat rides before we move - Frank and Cindi, ya'll coming? Karen