-Cheryl-

Ahh Jerrye, I am sorry you are down. It could be the chemo and radiation getting to you. I wish that I could be there with you on the day you see Dr. Denham. And if you don't like him, it will not hurt my feelings if you fire him. I think you will be satisfied with him though. Don't forget the basement cafateria. I actually looked forward to chemo because of the great food!!!! I never was much of a breakfast eater, but their hash browns are awsome! A was so limited to what could eat then, but some how I found my appetite for them! Plus I love to shop at Ross for bargins on the way back to Greenville. Make a day of it. I will be thinkng of you on the 17th right? Please Pm me or call. Keeping you in my prayers, Cheryl

Debbie, Please forgive me for being in such a hurry that I failed to convey my deepest sympathy for your your husband. I am truely sorry. Thank you again for your selflessness. Cheryl

Berisa, May you have sweet wonderful dream tonight about your Dad. I have had several reoccurring dreams of a family gathering like a picnic, only nobody sees me. My Dad, Mom, Grandparents and several people I don't know are there. The weather is beautiful. The sky is the color of a blue sea, and the clouds are like big puffy marshmellows. There is a cool breeze blowing in my face and birds singing out songs of love to find a mate. I imagined this place to be what heaven looks like. I think when the people actually speak back to me in the dream, I will have died and gone to heaven. It gives me peace. Cheryl

Cindy, I love my dark brown, curley hair- despite several people telling me they prefer me with my hair long and blonde. If I am hungry, I eat! I have booked a couple of vacations as far off as Oct.! I have become fearless, and take more risks! Why not? I have statistically only a 13% chance of survival anyway. I might as well die trying! I bought a ticket to ride a glider airplane!!. I think everyone should live as if they had a terminal illness!!!!! Shelly, I spent years being angry at God for my parent's deaths. I needed that anger to motivate me to change my life and move forward. Anger can be a great change agent, or it can destroy you. You chose how to use it. Perhaps it can be a vessel to help you too when your ready. Hang on to it for now. You are in a survivor mode. Much Love, Cheryl

Hey Ray, Atleast I am willing to admit the thing about....well you know the nipples!!! But it was you, wasn't it!!!! Come on now. P.S. Nice new Picture. Heeeee Heeeee Cheryl

DEbbie, I didn't know what could actually be donated due to the cancer? Thanks for info, Cheryl

Kelly, My onc was telling about his associate doing genetic DNA testing to determine if you carry the defected, mutated gene. I have heard one such gene in on the p53 gene. There are also trials going on across America attempting to boost the immune system to fight lung cancer using a vaccine made from your own cancer cells. Good luck, keep visiting this site, You will find a wealth of information for just about any question you have. Cheryl

LOIS, I had radiation and chemo together too. It was tough. I dropped 15 lbs. The mouth wash worked for me for about 5 min. too. Long enough to get a half of sandwich down me. My doctor told me that if I continued to lose weight he would put a tube in me, I sat at the table and tried to eat for atleast an hour once, my husband was there cheering me on. He went out and even got me stek and lobster, but to no avail. The dehydration did send me to the ER for an IV. DRINK DRINK, DRINK!!!! Water choked me. Try mixing something in the water to make it thicker so you won't choke on it, PM me if you want a list of foods that helped me. I threw up pretty bad for about a week when my stomach got radiated at the top of it. Margaret ad Fay had some great advice. I have read on here about a few people who had stents put in to open up their esophagus. Ask the doctor abot it? Hopefully this is from treatment, and not permanent.

Oh Sandy, How funny! I remember a radiologist telling my onc that this shadow looked like a new mass.....my onc said "No, I am pretty sure that is a nipple." Your onc should always compare new scans to your old scans. Prayers be with you Carlton. Cheryl

TBone, You are one tough cookie...er a steak! Praying this will knock out this disease! Cheryl

Ray, I remember a post from a long time ago, in which somebody picked up their scans to take to their doctor. Temptation got the best of them on the way, and they peeked at the scans. Upon examination there appeared to be two huge masses in the brain. The doctor would later put their mind at ease when he informed them that what they were looking at wasn't mets, but eyes! That was you wasn't it. I also recall a post of Sam's (a physician), who said that he had examined his own scans too, only to realize that he was not an expert in the field of radiology. So, the moral of the story is leave the interpretating to the specialist. Listen to Ray. I think he speaks from experience. Ha! Come on now Ray.....that was you, huh? I always try to read the tech'expressions. That doesn't work either. Anyway, try not to read your own scans. like Ray said, "It can drive you nuts!" Cheryl

Carlton, I just wanted to comment about what that neighbor said to you. You know we all must die someday. And this neighbor too will be faced with their own demise. I wonder if they will "go softly into the night." Yeah, "some people will do anything to live." I admit that I am one of them!!! There is no shame in wanting to live. I think most people would chose life. TAnn, so glad the hose is out!!! I'll bet you slept better. Those bunch of wessles- I would love to see them with a projectile hanging out their side to see whether "it hurts or not!" Ha! "You are just sensitive!" Geesh!! Cheryl

Dear Friends, It is hard to believe that a year will have passed on May 13th since my intial diagnosis, which is my husband's birthday by the way. What a gift it was last year for him to hear my diagnosis on his birthday. I went back to read my original posts, directly after my diagnosis. How frightened and desperate I sounded. I always feared that I too would be diagnosed with cancer because of my parents, but the diagnosis floored me. My only experience with cancer ended in deaths of both of my parents within 2 weeks of one another. They suffered greatly during their illnesses. I prayed for years to die any other way, but not of cancer, because of what I had witnessed. Now, here I am with the same disease. We have come along way, but not far enough in the past 20 years! It is not acceptable to see doctors giving cancer patients narcotics just to cover and mask their pain, rather than investigate the source of thir pain. I was told, "Well you have cancer." In reflection of this past year, my diagnosis has been not all bad. I have grown spiritually, I no longer put off things, my family and I have grown closer, and I appreciate each and every blessing from God. I found this wonderful web site that has lifted me up through prayer and support. Unfortunately, some of those advocates who were here in the beginning with me, are no longer with us. People like: Ada W., Judy B. Lenny, Greg, Becky G, Sam, Sue m., Jessie, Matthew,, Buddy, Shelly's Mom, Andrea's mom, Debaroo's Dad.........the list goes on. Losing someone on this board is like losing a family member. Each person's losses and triumphs are felt by us all. When I was first diagnosed, I was afraid that each day would be my last. I couldn't bear to get out of bed. I felt so hopeless. I had gone to my PA for a pain in the center of my chest. It was not really painful, just annoying. An EKG was done and was normal however, an x-ray revealed a tiny spot in my right middle lobe. Over the next month of fog, I had a whirlwind of tests to confirm or disconfirm various diagnoses. I had a CAT, a PET, a MRI, a Bronchoscopy, a medistinoscopy, and finally an attempt at surgery was made. Unfortunately , I awoke with all the lobes of my lung, and knew that I was no longer diagnosed with stage 1 anymore. Following my diagnosis, my body would be pumped full of poisonous chemo and zapped with radioactive beams, all to prepare me for what would be one of the most painful surgeries known to mankind. I never even had to have a transfusion during chemo! I was strong and stayed positive. I remember when I was a child, I use to tell my father when he spanked me, "That didnt hurt." Well I had that same tenacity during treatment. Give me more! I can take it! I want to live, I want to beat this beast!!! I prayed to God, begged and pleaded, even bartared with him to let me live. I am not ready yet to be put into the ground. I have the greatest life, a wonderful husband that I adore, a job with kids and their families who need me. Why is this happenening to me????? My parents finally got their dream home and were snuffed out by this disease, and now that curse is upon me! My Legacy I suppose. A year has flown by much too fast now. I am determined to live my live to the fullest each and every day. I went back to my job fulltime in Aug., after treatment. It was hard, but I did it. I only took off 3 1/2 weeks for surgery! I am by no means super human by any stretch of the imagination, just determined to survive. I was scared I would lose my job and benefits too. Ha! I am thankful to still be here. I will not waste another day worrying about tomorrow. I mean, afterall, we really only have just today don't we? Thank You for being here for me you guys! Much Love, Cheryl

Elaine, I remember my Dad had bone mets from lung cancer, and that he said it was the most intense pain he had ever felt. It was in his shoulder and spine. The pain was unrelenting. He said that it was so deep that no med could reach it. Of course this was 19 years ago, and meds have changed quite a bit. He was given radiation for pain and moraphine. I use to massage his shoulder to help alieve the pain, knowing it was only psychologically helping him. Also. for those of you on taxol, don't forget that this chemo makes your joints hurt as if you had bone mets too. cheryl

Ginny, Glad to hear "The Duke" has been exhibiting some semblence of his old self. So sad about your friend. I will also keep your sister in my prayers. God Bless, Cheryl

Deb, Your poor sis. I tell you, I was so touhed by her situation. I am so fearful that I will come home and find Jack like that! He started back doing some part-time radio work and is suppose to take it easy, but works around the house doing things that scare me to death. Right now he is putting up pipe fencing, painting the inside of the house, and putting in wood floors! I cannot stop him. Its like he is challenging fate!!! All the men in his family have died early of heart attacks! I am glad to finally get these things done, but not at the risk of losing my husband in the process! Deb, have a safe trip. I hope you get a chance to visit the ocean and stick your feet in the sand. Where are you going in Fla.? Please take a day for yourself if you can. My condolences to our sister. Cheryl

TAnn, The catheter has been so painful. I admire your strength! Prayers are offered that Iressa does the trick! Cheryl

Pamela, What an unbelievable story. Your Dad has been through it! What a survivor. We welome you into our group with open arms and hope you stick around. There are some good people here. Cheryl

Carlton, How are you my friend? I have been worried about you. It is good to hear from you. Would you please update me on how your treatment is going, I hve been thinking of you. You are in my prayers. Cheryl

That reminds me of a friend's son, who was sitting on the couch with her watching tv. He became frantic and shouted "Moma, something is wrong with my peepee." She examined it, only to find he had an errection. She had a tough time of explaining that process to him! Ha! Cheryl

Melinda and Geoff, Thanks!

Berisa, Thanks for sharing. I hope that you are doing alright. God Bless you and your family during this difficult loss. Cheryl

Karen, We are all worried about you. I am praying they find the reason for the oxygen deprivation. Stay strong in your faith ny friend. Cheryl

Peggy, I am sending up prayers for your dear Dad now. My sister does physical therapy in a nursing home located in Solvay N. Y.. She told me about a lady she did PT on who was on a vent. She said that was 3 years ago, and the lady is off the vent; however, on oxygen! While providing the lady with PT, one of her goals was to dance with her husband on their aniversary. She did just that! I pray that your reaches his goal of coming home soon! Cheryl

Jerrye, I hope you got my P.M.. My phone rang, disconnecting my web t.v. just as I was sending out my message. Let me know if you have any questions about Baylor or any of the doctors I P.M,'ed you about. Cheryl