wondermom

I am so sorry your mom's health is declining. My mom was very confused at the end also. She would talk to my brother into the tv remote like she was on her cell phone. She was on so many pain meds. Did your mom ever tell you anything about her wishes if the end is near? My mom made it very clear she did not want to pass at home. I think she was thinking about us having that be our last memory of her and thinking about her passing every time we were home. However, many people find at home hospice very comforting. It is a personal choice. Mom had hospice care in the hospital right until the end. They were wonderful. Very compassionate people. I agree with Nick about your aunts. My mom's family always asked us if we wanted them there or not. I think they just didn't want to intrude on our (my siblings and dad) time with mom. It wasn't a question of whether they wanted to be there or not. We really wanted them there though. It was comforting to us to be able to share stories and hold on to each other. I wish you all the best. I know how hard this time is. Praying things get better for your mom. Praying for strength for you, your mom, and your family. Jill

Thanks for doing this Randy, I lost my mom, Laurie, Sept. 8th 2007.

Ok everyone, here is the scoop. My Grandpa (Mom's Dad) is in the hospital with an end stage rare blood cancer. He is also having heart problems. The blood cancer makes his blood thick and his heart is having trouble pumping it. He also had 3 stents put in and will need one more next week. I pray that this procedure takes away the chest pain and makes him more comfortable. Also, my brother is having a brain MRI tomorrow. Around Thanksgiving time he woke up in the night with what he called, "The worst headache of his life." He said he was vomiting, dizzy, and it was just horrible. He has never had migraines (28 yr. old). I told him to get it checked out immediately as I was afraid he was having a stroke or an aneurism but he refused and said he was fine. He hasn't had any episodes since but told his Dr. about it at his physical today and he recommended an MRI to make sure there was nothing going on. Please pray that it was just stress and nothing more serious! There just can't be anything else so soon. Thanks! Jill

I am so sorry.

I am so very sorry for your loss. It is just unbelievable and scary that her battle was so short. My 52 year young mom passed away 9 months into her battle. I had just turned 30. There was so much more I wanted to share with her. I feel like I was just getting to know her on a different level. I am so sorry. I know it is so very hard. It is hard to imagine going through life without being able to share things with your mom, but know she is with you in spirit always. Jill

Pat, I am a worrier too. I tend to jump to conclusions about any and every ailment that affects me, my kids, my dad, my siblings. It is a very stressful way to be. I am trying very hard to take things as they come. In my head, I know that most of the things I worry about are just in my head and that I am making more of it than needs to be, but in my heart I just can't bear the thought of anything else happening in my family. I can't imagine going through everything you have gone through. I think in my head I am thinking that if I imagine whatever "could" happen I will be more prepared for it. Not sure if that makes any sense. I am getting better over time. I realize that even though my mom died at 52, she lived 52 years not worrying about everything like I do. She enjoyed her life. I am trying to be more like her. I don't want to be the one who lives to be 100- miserable, stressed, and unhappy worrying about everything and everyone in my life. That is what I keep telling myself to get through. I want to enjoy my life! I know my mom would want me to. Jill

This truely is a very special place. When mom passed away I didn't think I would be coming back to this site. I thought I would cut the ties and try to get on with my life. However, after only a short time, I found myself drawn back. I had to know how other people were doing. I had to find hope in other people's stories. I had to give back in some way. So many people were there for me when I felt like no one else understood. I don't post as much as some, but I am on the boards almost daily and post when I feel like I can help or offer words of support. So thanks to Katie and Rick and to everyone here who has become such an important part of my life.

Aaron and Julia, I think of you often as do so many others here. We are all in your corner praying that things turn around quickly for the better. Hopefully the radiation takes effect soon and you will get some relief. Praying for better days ahead for you both. Take care, Jill

I am a worry wort too. After my mom was diagnosed I found all kinds of things wrong with me. From swollen lymph nodes to dark moles to shortness of breath. I went to the doctor for all of these things and broke down in a mess of tears each time. Turns out the lymph nodes and shortness of breath were nothing, or at least nothing that couldn't be explained by stress or anxiety. The moles, however, I did have biopsied and one came back dysplastic. I had to have it cut out to be sure it wouldn't turn cancerous. I am glad I had all these things checked out because otherwise I would sit and worry about it all the time. In my mind, you can never be too careful! I will always be pro-active with my health and with the health of my kids just as you are. I think you did the right thing!

Praying for a quick recovery.

Praying today!

Good luck with everything, Connie! I will be thinking of you on Wednesday and praying for a speedy recovery. Take care, Jill

Yes, there was a thread not too long ago on this very subject. I had posted that I used to ask that question myself. I am embarassed to say that. But for me it was more of my hypochondriac tendancies kicking in. I wanted reassurance that I was safe from getting lung cancer. I learned the hard way that smoking is certainly not the only cause of lung cancer. My mom, who was a never smoker, had lung cancer. After my mom was diagnosed I started to do a lot of research and realized just how in the dark people are about lung cancer. I recently had an article about this very subject printed in 3 of our local newspapers. I wanted people to know that smoking was not the only cause. Even if it was the only cause, it doesn't make it hurt any less when your spouse, parent, or loved one is diagnosed.

I do this all the time too. I used to call mom all the time when the kids would do something new or funny. Shortly after she died I did actually pick up the phone to call her once, but stopped before dialing. At the funeral my brother saw a flower arrangement from his high school class. He later told me his first thought was, "I have to show this to mom." It is just such a normal thing to want to share everything with her. She would always have such a big reaction to everything so it was so much fun to tell her. Gosh, how I miss her. Jill

This week last year was when we got the dreaded diagnosis. Mom told me, "It's lung cancer." I just can't get those words or that whole week out of my head. She was admitted to the hospital and I think I knew, even from that moment, that something was really truely wrong and that our lives would be forever changed. That whole week that mom was in the hospital, if I wasn't there, I was waiting by the phone. Just waiting to hear the words. Something in me just knew even though I didn't want to admit it. It just seemed so unlikely that it could possibly be lung cancer. But it was. This week as I sit here and think back through the 9 months my mom fought, I so wish things could have been different. I wish I would have spent more time with her when things were good. When things were "normal" and we didn't have scans or treatments looming over our heads. I got so caught up in my own family life that I didn't take as much time to spend with my mom, who I love so very much. For that I will always be sorry. I just always thought we would have so much more time. A lesson I have learned the hard way. I am sure there will be many days or weeks like this one. This one is just hitting me very hard. Wednesday will mark the anniversary of moms diagnosis. The day that changed my family's life forever.

Jill Home Dayare Provider Married to Paul for 9 years. Mom to two kiddos! Brayden is 5 and Brenna is 2. One brother and sister-in-law One Sister who just got engaged last weekend! From Central Minnesota Lost Mom almost 3 months ago to NSCLC. I miss her every day.

Continued prayers for you, Connie. Just keep thinking about how nice it will be when you can enjoy Christmas without the SOB issues you have been having. Hold on to those positive thoughts! Take care, Jill

My mom had both WBR and chemo followed by Tarceva. Her hair grew back but very slowly. We thought the Tarceva might have been slowing it down a bit too but it was definately growing back. Hope that helps!

That is beautiful. I needed to read that today.

Adrian and Leslie, I am so very sorry for your loss. Your family sounds a lot like my own and I have been closely following your Dad's story from the beginning. I am so glad to hear his passing was peaceful. What a blessing. Jill

Hello all! Since my mom passed away in September, my mind has been working overtime trying to think of a way to honor her and bring attention to LC Awareness month. I decided to write in to three of our local newspapers and so far I have heard back from two that are going to print the story!!! I am so excited. One even said my statements were right on. I included many statistics from LUNGevity and told my mom's story. Yeah!! Jill

Ry, I am so shocked. I just can't believe all the sadness that just keeps coming. My heard aches for you and your children. I am so sorry. So sorry. Jill

That is great news, Connie! I just did a write up for our local paper and sent it to two others as well. So far I have heard back from one saying they were going to try to print it in the opinion section. I am pretty excited about it! I really wanted to do something to honor my mom and bring attention to the disease that took her from us much too young.

Remembering my mom, Laurie. I love you mom!

Hi Debi, Take the time you need. You have been a rock for so many of us here even while you were going through your own difficulties with Tony. We are here for you too. I really feel for you. I think of you and many others who have lost thier spouses every time I see my dad and watch him beginning his new journey without my mom. It is heartbreaking and inspiring at the same time. Inspiring in that he is slowly finding strength he didn't know he had. I know you will too! All my best, Jill