I wonder if I felt in my body that it was a bad day for the boards. Last night at the Sabbath Service in Temple honoring my brother in law for his wedding today I lost it. I had not been to a temple service in awhile and at the end they do a prayer for the sick and read off a LONG list of names. My mom's name was on there, i was not prepared for it, and tears just came rolling down myeyes. I was SOOOO embarassed. I did not make a scene, it was silent c rying, but the bride switched seats with my brother in law and put her arm around me. And then my mother in law looked at me and almost lost it. In the middle of temple, i reached for my pill box and popped a xanax. I could tell a few peple were like what is that. It was just really emotional.
Ok, i gotta stay away for the day, off for hair and makeup now. Even though i want to cry all day for everyone, my mom will NOT be happy with makeup running before pictures. She would say and will say when i speak to her soon "suck itup, cry AFTER the weding"