Dear Sharon,
This was a hard post for me to read because I have the had the same feelings for almost 17 months, however I know we are here to help each other...I dont know where the guilt comes from because I have it still too...Maybe because we were completely helpless during the whole process and we thought they would be coming home...
I think we had hope until their last breath, I know I did..I still say to myself everyday "what happened Dad, where are you" I always wonder if the doctors did the right thing because it did happen so fast..Without getting into too much detail, I too wonder about the morphine..
What I really want to tell you is dont blame yourself, nothing is your fault..THe guilt will tear you up inside if you let it, dont do this to yourself..Your dad loved you so much he would hate knowing that you are feeling this...