stand4hope

Another WOW! Thank you for those words Lesley - I needed to hear them, too! Dear Laura, I am heartbroken, just heartbroken for you and your family. I'm going to try to remember those words that Lesley wrote, and I'm hoping they will help you, your mom and the rest of your family, too. Please give your mom a big hug for me and tell her I am thinking of her. May God be with you all in the days ahead. I am so sorry this happened! Love, Peggy

Dear Sue, This is all so sad and just so hard. Everybody is different, so please don't even try to compare. I do think that after the family and friends leave and go back to their daily routines and we are left with the reality of facing the days alone, there is generally an increase in our sadness. It just all becomes so horribly real - a little at a time. It's so soon, Sue. You need to give yourself more time. I hope that you have people you can talk to or a counselor to help you get through the really tough times. Write to me any time you need to talk. Love, Peggy

Dear Laura, We all feel and know your pain. I am so sorry you and your family are going through this. I'm praying for your family. Love, Peggy

How wonderful, Tiny! I am blessed by your good news! Love, Peggy

Hang in there, sweetie! Hopefully, it's just a little something that means absolutely nothing! Thinking about you and praying! Love, Peggy

Hi Bill, I don't know anything about a thoracentesis, but i do know that many surgical procedures cause shoulder pain. I've been told that it has something to do with the air that gets into your body, blood stream, or somewhere, and that it takes time for it to dissipate. I have absolutely NO CLUE if this is what is causing your wife's pain, but thought I would pass it along. Also, I'm glad to see you post. Been thinking so much about you and was touched by Robert's post. I can tell he's not only worried about his mom, but he's worried about you, too! May God bless you and your family over and over and over again! Love, Peggy

Dear Larry, I just loved reading your words: Not because you lost your bride, of course, but because you called your wife your "bride". My boss always calls his wife his bride, and I just can't think of anything that would bless your wife more than being called your bride, even after 44 years! Larry, I am so sorry that you lost your beautiful bride. Love, Peggy

Just when I begin to think I'm getting better, along comes something else to freshen the wound. The past couple of weeks I've had a hard time driving past restaurants. Don and I used to go out to eat once or twice every weekend. We had our favorites, but we tried most of them. I don't know why they are jumping out at me all of a sudden, but they are. In addition, we actually had a few hours of sunshine yesterday between the monsoons (they're coming again tonight), so I got out in the yard and sowed some grass seed and put another bale of straw over the mud. I cried most of the time while I was doing it because Don would have been out there as soon as the rain stopped working his butt off. I think this has just been building for a couple of weeks. So, last night I just went into total meltdown. Once again, my brother was the one who got the call and got the sobbing tears, but like usual he said the right things. He told me first of all that if all of these "firsts", as Pat (Patkid) worded it, had hit me all at once right after Don's death that I probably wouldn't have survived the agony. He also said that he thought it was a good thing that I am experiencing these emotions because it was a great tribute to what we had together, the kind of man Don was, and a great tribute to our love. He said that since we were together for so long that all of these little things were just a part of our every day routine lives and had no significance at the time, but they do have significance, we just don't know it until they aren't there anymore. The emotions have continued, though. A friend stopped by last night and I broke down, I cried through most of church today, and I cried talking to my next door neighbors this afternoon. In spite of all this, you probably won't beleve me when I say I'm ok, but I am. I think the only way we really get to "OK" is by going through these hard times. I thought that since I have been through losing my parents, my in-laws, grandparents, etc., etc., that I had a handle on this thing called "death", but . . . . . Love, Peggy P.S. On a lighter note, I emailed a friend this week about the restaurant problem and she said I should just pull in to them one at a time and have dinner and cherish my memories. I wrote back and I asked her if I went in and ordered my usual chicken and a rib-eye for Don, and then sat and talked to him if she thought they would call the police. She wrote back and said, "OK, maybe you shouldn't order for Don, but at least you still have a good sense of humor".

I think monsoons have taken up permanent residency in Indiana - rain - inches of rain. I've spent most of my time cleaning mud off eight dog paws! Today, I am going to the bank and then taking a bunch of area rugs and things to give to my sister. I expect we will visit for a while, and then I have to go to the office for a couple of hours, or I could do that tomorrow afternoon. Things are getting a little better at work, so I'm hoping to have some time today and tomorrow to get back to finishing up cleaning up from the construction and start finishing the painting and staining. Everybody have a great weekend! Love, Peggy

18 - too many to wash that's for sure!

ME, TOO! HEY BECKY! COME OUT COME OUT WHEREVER YOU ARE! Love, Peggy

sleep

Dear Nancy, You bet! You got those prayers, honey! Your body is going to respond to that clinical trial and you are going to be around to take care of that little grandson of yours for a very long time. Hang in there. Love, Peggy

Dear Donna, Please know that you are definitely not alone with any of your feelings at this time. I went through exactly what you're feeling and I understand your personal pain and fears. I have found that talking about it here does help. My friends here have always been willing to let me or anyone else express our feelings about these sad things, including anger, frustration and every emotion. Many of us have experienced all of that and have found that together we can be stronger. My prayers are with you and Warren at this time. And, also, I agree with Ry, there is a very good chance that you have more time than the doctor said. In fact, if you haven't done so already, you might be surprised what a second opinion would disclose. My board name is stand4hope, and until my husband drew his last breath, I held onto that hope. Donna, none of us know when that cure we are all waiting for is going to appear. It could be tomorrow. It could be next week. I do believe in preparing for the worst - that's just a smart thing to do, but after doing that, then I also believe in expecting the best! Sending you love and HOPE, Peggy

Hello, Robert. I am so very sorry that you are having to go through this. I know how hard your dad has fought to get your mom the very best care and attention available, and it's just so sad that it has gotten so bad. I know what you are going through - I went through it with my mom and dad, too. It's just a tough time and there aren't words created that can really make it any easier. I hope it does help you a little bit, though, to know that we really do care and that we are collectively putting our arms around you and your whole family. Please tell your dad, too, that we are thinking about him at this time. He has shared tons of information and knowledge with us through all of his research for your mom. He has helped a lot of people. I don't have answers for you on the funeral arrangements. I sure wish I did because I would be so willing to help if I could. God bless you, Robert! Love, Peggy

Oh, Teri, you have absolutely no idea how happy I am to see you post. I was just about to head for bed and so glad I saw this before I left. I have missed you so much and thrilled to hear that you are getting back some strength. I have been praying for you. Now, DON'T DO THAT AGAIN!! Sending you tons of love and hugs, Peggy

Hi Lisa! It's so good to see you here and posting. I thought you had fallen off the face of the earth. I saw your note at the end of your profile that you and your son are "surving". I hope you are having lots of good days along the way. I'll try to answer some of your questions, but some of my answer will be for myself and some for Don: 1> How did you find LCSC? PLEASE EXPLAIN I was searching for a medical term with google, can't remember what it was, and one of the links led me to someone's post here. 2> When you were diagnosed what kind of info about LC were you given (nothing, brochure, counseling, books, video/dvd, resource lists)? Who provided you with this info? Brochures, but just with basic info. Some info from the oncologist and radiation oncologist, but they answered any question we asked. 3> What is largest city closest to you? Is there a live support group specific to LC for patients? caregivers? family/children of patients? Indianapolis. There probably are support groups, but we didn't look for them. This site was all I needed. 4> Where and how were you diagnosed? Who told you of your diagnosis? My husband got an MRI to find out what was causing his headaches. Brain tumors were found. Then the lung scan revealed the source. 5> What do you think could have been done differently/better (re: your dignosis) and how you were told/educated about LC? We felt good about the education we were given. My husband never asked for a prognosis, and one wasn't offered. I think that is the best approach. 6> How many other Lung Cancer patients have you met face to face in your community through MD/hospital, etc...? None. I'm sure there were lung cancer patients in the chemo room, and we talked to them, but we never asked them what kind of cancer they had. 7> How many < Lung Cancer > FUNDRAISERS have you seen/heard about? Please be specific as to what they are and where the organization is? Names, address, telephone, website & brief info would be great? Just those who have sponsored or participated in fundraisers on this site. 8> Have you had difficult getting TREATMENT or MEDICATION because of LACK OF MONEY or LACK of INFORMATION? If so, please explain in detail. No. 9> Were there treatments available to you elsewhere in the country but you were unable to travel due to cost or difficulties related to your illness? No. 10> Do you have enough help at home? Please explain re: family/spouse/friends/nurse/CNA/other.... Not applicable now, but we didn't need help, but would have had plenty of help it had become necessary. 11> What types of things would make you/your home more comfortable with relation to your LC? Not applicable. 12> What has been your most difficult experience throughout this ordeal (OTHER THAN DIAGNOSIS) ? Without a doubt, the most difficult thing was always waiting for scan/test results Best of luck in your survey and your foundation, Lisa. I hope we get to hear more from you. I'm so happy to see you handling your grief with positive action for lc. Lots of love, Peggy

Oh, Karen, my heart is breaking to pieces for you. It's just so hard, all of it! I'm so sorry you are having to go through this. Just so, so sorry! Love and hugs, Peggy

I'm so sorry, Pat. I have no words to ease the pain, except that I know how much it hurts. So much caring for you . . . . . Love, Peggy

Dear Linda, Your husband's diagnosis rings sooooo familiar. My husband was diagnosed with 8 brain mets, but didn't have a seizure. He was having a severe, constant headache for about 3 weeks, got an MRI, and BINGO, there they were! He also only had one lung tumor, left side, and his largest brain tumor was on the left side. His largest brain tumor was 2.2 cm., a little bigger than a quarter, several others were about half that size, and the others were very tiny. WBR with stereotactic radiosurgery about 2 months later removed two small tumors and shrunk the rest of them by 30%, and they stayed stable for over 18 months. Linda, my husband had a lot of chemo over nearly two years' times. The first round knocked him on his butt for a couple of months, but he rebounded with a little kick start with steroids, and continued to have a better-than-excellent quality of life for almost two years. He worked long hours, kept up with everything in our home and yard, and even took motorcycle trips, including a lengthy trip to the Smokies. I understand your husband's reluctance to receive chemo, but the drugs they have these days to help with nausea, low blood counts, and other side effects are phenomenal. Yes, some still have a hard time with chemo, and there are about a gazillion different reasons why that happens - other health problems, overall health, attitude, allergies and reactions, etc., etc. Please tell your husband that he will never know if he is one of the ones that would have a very positive result from chemo if he doesn't try. The end result without treatment is a given. Of course, that time could be long. I had two wonderful years with my husband after diagnosis, including many meals at home, many meals out, lots of laughs and good times, holiday with families, birthday celebrations, a lot of loving and sharing, and memories that I will cherish forever. And, memories I'm sure he is happy he left behind. Believe it or not, even all the million trips to doctors and for treatment hold a lot of good memories for me. This is, of course, your wonderful hubby's decision. Many choose the path of no treatment, and all of us here will support his decision, support him, and support you no matter what. We're here for you! Much love and many prayers, Peggy

I believe in angels, and believe there are guardian angels. I'm not sure who they guard, or if we all have one, but I do believe they exist. I do believe that God works through people, and I believe that is his primary way to work. I don't, however, believe that people are angels or that our loved ones become angels. The Bible says there are angels and there are people - two separate types of beings. He says when we get to heaven we will have new bodies and we will live with Him. I think that angels have specific jobs to do, the primary one being to fight the unseen evil spiritual beings that we cannot see. Love, Peggy

I am posting this on behalf of my friend, Linda. She is the office manager at my dentist's office, and her mother has lung cancer. I gave her this website address about a month ago and have been watching for her first post, but so far, I haven't seen her post. Her mother is in her 80s. I think she said she was 82, and because of other health problems will probably not receive treatment. The last I saw Linda, I believe they were going for the first oncologist's appointment the following week. Linda told me that her relationship with her mom is like so many of you have described: BEST FRIENDS! In fact, I think Linda's words to me were, "It's going to be tough because it's a best friend relationship." I thought if some of you would say hello to her that I would print and mail the thread to her and encourage her to come here for support since so many of us can relate to that "best friend" mom we have or had. Thanks in advance! Love to all, Peggy

Dear F., I agree that if it's depression, medication might help. It's not uncommon at all for cancer patients to be on anti-depressants. If that's not what it is, then as hard as it is, you just need to tell people that she doesn't want visitors or flowers. I had to do that with my husband. He absolutely did not want visitors, even when he was feeling good. He didn't want people feeling sorry for him and he didn't want people to talk to him about it at all! He had a lot of friends, too, but he was not a sit down and chit-chat person even before his diagnosis. He was a do-er, and always had to be moving and doing things. He hated small talk. I just told his friends and family those facts, as gently as I could, and they respected it. As he got worse, I did manage to think of some ways to sneak in his sister without him knowing it was set up. She understood his wishes because she knew his personality, but it was absolutely KILLING her to not see him. She just "stopped by" one day with a dish of his favorite jello/cream cheese recipe because she thought he might need to fatten up a little. Tee hee! It worked. He sat down and visited with her, and he actually enjoyed them time. Good luck with this one - it's a tough one to deal with. Love, Peggy

WOOHOO! Love, Peggy

Oh, Patty, I know you must be so frightened. I will pray that this is something that is benign and can easily be extinguished!! Love and great big hugs, Peggy