Addie

YEEEEE HAWWWWWWW, RACHEL!! Outstanding news...and I'm so glad to hear it. Hope you and Ol' North and the puppy celebrate big time! I might have to hoist one in your honor all the way over here on the east coast! Matter of fact, I think I will!

Seeeee??? I had a feeling you'd be getting good news. Never mess with the "feelings" of someone with Addietude!! I'm so happy for you Melanie...and you take the time you need to regroup until you're ready to be back posting often. You'll continue to feel a bit tired...probably off and on...for a bit...but your energy will come back. Funny....the weekend my platelets tanked and I needed three transfusions.....the day after the last one I scrubbed my kitchen floor and back hallway. I'm talking like 750 sq. feet of tile floor! I later told my onc...."I must be like the guy who didn't know he was a drunk until he sobered up!! I didn't realize my energy was low until those transfusions fueled me back up!" When you start looking for the mop....watch out!! You'll know you're back to normal energy! Take care, Mel...and again, I'm so glad the report was good and lifted your spirits. Keep the faith!!

The new house sounds wonderful and I'm so happy your group of "old" friends from work has volunteered to help with the move. Wish Dave's pain were getting better, not worse...but still holding out hope that the spinal tap is negative and that they can come up with something to relieve his pain. While it's tough having to address certain issues or potential issues...we've pretty much all had to do some of that, regardless of current status. Hubby and I have talked about where I want to be buried, and what to have me wear, etc. Also the fact that the cremains of our previous four pooches, each in their own little tin box...will go at the foot of my coffin. I think being able to address some of these things is helpful too...and may seem more so, when the time comes. Keep up your strength as best you can, Karen. I think you're doing amazingly well...and I love it that you can still find so much joy in the exchanges with little Faith. That one's a little pistol, that's for sure! Thanks for keeping us up to date. You know you're all on a lot of our minds...so check in whenever you can and know our thoughts are with you!

Sending you and Mike wishes and all good thoughts for strength, hope and a turn around in his condition. I wish there was more we could do for you...but know we're here as an outlet and are sending you both the best any of us have. Lean on us...whenever you have to, Nancy. I'll be having one of my chats with God on Mike's and your behalf.

Mel...my doc isn't really doom and gloom...but neither is he Pollyanna. Just FYI....my cancer recurred in my pancreas and liver. After three cycles of Topotecan, a CT report showed "pancreas appears normal". Now....I took that to mean that the cancer in my pancreas was GONE after three cycles of chemo!! Woo Hoooo...I was a happy camper. My onc, when I asked him about the report....said, "Don't lock on any one remark in the report....try to look at the overall. The pancreas appears normal...but it depend on where the CT took its slices. The important thing is that OVERALL, it appears there has been about a 50% reduction in the amount of tumor activity." Now...that didn't exactly say my pancreas was clean...but for halfway thru chemo, a 50% reduction was still pretty positive, so I hung onto that. I think sometimes our docs WANT as much for us as we want for ourselves (a cure...or in lieu of that, a long remission or long time of stable/no growth!) and so maybe they make statements that it would be more prudent to qualify. No need to get our expectations higher than they ought to be...eh? But I try, now, to temper my own expectations. I'm in the midst of cycle 6. This should be the end of chemo for a while...BUT....it might not be. If these last three cycles haven't wiped out the rest of what was in my liver AND possibly still "hidden" in my pancreas or anywhere else, for that matter...I might need more chemo. I'm trying to keep a balance between my normal optimistic self and the potential reality that tells me I MIGHT be continuing with chemo for a while...or I might only hear "stable" at best....not "clean"! I try to take it as it comes. What really matters is that the weather is warming up and last night was the first time I DID NOT have to take a cap to bed for my poor bald head. And....I feel pretty good. Appetite is good. Weight holding. Been getting some things done around the house, along with all my crafty stuff I like to do. Energy level isn't too bad. Have played 9 holes of golf a couple of times and intend to do lots more! I think radiation has even more an effect on energy level. I went thru 13 days of PCI last November. The doses are a bit lighter than with WBR....but you still feel the effects on stamina. Give it a little time....your energy will return. Remember too...you might have scar tissue that will show up on the MRI....that they aren't SURE is scar tissue. I had a spot they followed with a couple of MRIs. I was lightheaded...which is what made my onc order the first MRI to check on it. The second MRI showed the spot a wee bit smaller...and it was small to begin with. So I assume it's scar tissue. I'm not symptomatic other than the occasional occular migraine...and I got those once in a while before cancer. They are stress related too, I'm convinced. So.....I try to stay stress free and indulge in as much silliness and fun as I can. I recommend it! Hand your nervousness over to us. Let us hold it for you....and you knock yourself out getting silly....ya hear? Your gonna be fine...the WBR is still working....there is a residual effect, you know. So whatever they see on THIS MRI is gonna look even BETTER by the time you have the next one. It's how it usually works. Keep on having fun with the kids at the pool. Maybe people won't think you're bald for any other reason than that you're a professional swimmer and have SHAVED your head in order to be faster in the water! Ya think? Oh who cares anyway...we've all got bigger fish to fry than worrying about people who've never seen a bald woman before. Hell....most of us came into this world that way...there's no reason we can't walk around NOW without hair, is there? Thinking of you, Melanie....and sending ALL good thoughts!!

Jim...you are an example of hope and triumph over prognosis...and for that....never, ever, ever feel guilty. Feel triumphant and KEEP IT UP!! I do understand how you feel...although my cancer relapsed only four months after tx ended....but I understand in the sense that I've had very few side or ill effects from tx, unlike many others here who've had a really hard time with chemo or the steroids or simply the effects of the cancer itself. Mine have been so few...and I know it's part of why I've been able to stay positive and enjoy each day. That's harder to do if you're hurting or puking....eh? So...you keep on enjoying your good news and good fortune...and go ahead, take out your triumph on the fish! You inspire us all...if not to go fishing....then to keep on truckin' and beating this disease!

Cindi nabbed my word: Wow!! I'm so glad you posted too, as I think this sort of info could be really helpful to who knows how many people? We do tend to be a bit more tuned into our aches and pains after having cancer and especially with surgery...and I know there is a tendancy for some of us NOT to overreact or say anything to the docs. But I'm slowly getting so that I mention more of the little, even sort of fleeting side effects...just so they are "on record". Later on...they could mean something...and I might not remember when they started! I still try not to overreact to symptoms...but there is a very important lesson in the amount of pain you were in...and WHY!! The reconstruction part was secondary, I'm sure...as when one is in pain that takes precedence over other issues...doesn't it? I learned my own lesson starting in Jan. with a unsettled tummy...that - 5 wks later and only 6-7 weeks after a CLEAN CT scan - turned out to be a recurrence with cancer in my liver and pancreas. I'm glad you had this taken care of and gladder still, that your pain is diminishing. Thanks for sharing an important lesson in listening to your body and NOT putting off talking to someone about what we are noticing. Hope you just keep feeling better and better!!

I like a doc that covers all the bases...even if some of what he does/says might sort of suprise us. Better safe than sorry...but you've got all good thoughts coming your way. Don't worry until there is something concrete to worry about. I know that's easier said than done...but it IS possible. Vibing you for good news only!! Vent here whenever you need to!!

Carleen...you've both been missed and worried about...and while I wish your news was better, I am relieved to hear from you. As long as your Keith is with you....there is hope. Cherish each day. Believe in miracles and try, whenever possible, to set aside the worries because...as our dear Betplace used to advise us...."every dawn is a victory". I'm just glad to see you back here. Maybe we can be of some help or support for you again now...but I too understand that sometimes we need to get away for a little while. Sending my best vibes and thoughts your and Keith's way....

Well here is a thought for that doctor and anyone else Doom and Gloom.... It sort of just came flying out of my mouth today when I was at the dentist. Making my next appointment, the gal at the desk said to me, "You have such a great attitude about the cancer...it's terrific to see". And I said..."Well, cancer can only kill me once!! But until that day, I intend to LIVE all the days leading up to it!" Not entirely an original thought...but my spin on it. The important part is the first sentence. We are ALL only gonna die ONE TIME...at ONE MOMENT...and who knows from what? Or when??? But EVERY MOMENT IN TIME UNTIL OUR DEATH...is time meant for us to LIVE and live as well as we can. If we have doctors or any medical professionals ready to hang it up, give up, tell us we're out of hope and out of chances.....well, I would be looking for new doctors or new medical professionals. It's taken me some time...but I'm a lot more "in charge" these days about what goes on with my body and who I want to be part of my medical team. Anyone with a negative attitude ain't gonna last long with me! I've got.........Addie-tude! Try it...you might like having Addietude, too! And I bet your brother will love it.

Well somebody's gotta say it....You've been quiet as a.........MOUSE lately! It's good to hear you "squeaking" again. And....your "fuzziness" from the brain radiation and/or meds will likely go away given a little bit of time. Then you'll find us again and be back posting as usual. Take care of yourself...and we hope to see you back here soon!

Waaaa Hoooo, Nina!! Congrats on getting SUCH good news. I'm on my way right now...over to the Pub to hoist one in your honor. Gonna join me?? I'm so delighted for you!

I'm just glad you're back, E....and hope you'll continue to feel good enough to stay a while. It's hard sometimes, being here. I understand that. And on top of that you've had a tad more than your share of docs who should have sought out another profession... Sending all good vibes and thoughts your way for work, and continuing to feel good enough to do it! You've been missed more than you know...

Congrats on the sale, Chapmans!! I know it's a hassle moving...but in the long run, this should simplify things for you. Hope you find the house of your dreams asap. You've got my email...and if group emails are easiest...include me so I know how you guys are doing. Sending good thoughts for the right house AND for Dave to do well with the next chapter, whatever it turns out to be. Hang in there....

Just couldn't let this pass...Internet EXPLODER!! Love it. And Peggy...great list of hints and even reminders to those of us who are hardly "new". Thanks!

Sounds like my kind of vacation....nothing too strenuous, no schlumping around checking out museums or shopping for knockoffs. Just a nice chair close to the lake, hearing the water lap at the shore, some good food cooked outside, a bottle (or two) of one's favorite libation, and oh yeah....cable t.v. for when the sun goes down! Enjoy it all Joanie. We'll keep the light on for you here...and await your return, all rested and relaxed!

This just stuns me...but I know you guys are fighters and so I will continue to send all positive thoughts and vibes out for Dave to respond to whatever tx they decide to do...and for there to be improvement and time. Precious time. Dammit all, this disease needs a cure.

Here is my two cents: The two "friends" here that I considered to be my closest friends....are tighter than ticks these days and apparently, I have ceased to exist! OH, they'll ask me how I'm doing if they see me at the golf club...or will ask my hubby how I am, if I'm not there. But that's about it. One of them called me (this is the last call I got from her), in February when the other one heard I'd relapsed and relayed the message. At the end of that call, she said, "I cannot imagine how you feel. Is there anything I can do for you?" I said, "Well...it would be nice to hear from you once in a while". She said, "I will make a concerted effort to do better!" Concerted effort? What am I....a d*mn boulder to be moved? Mind you....we'd had a similar conversation a year prior....when I was sick with a muscle disorder and she never called or showed any concern. I let her know then....and gently so...that my feelings were hurt. Nothing changed. And now I require "a concerted effort"??? I emailed her after that and said I was going to try to accept things as they were and just enjoy my good memories. That if it took "a concerted effort" for her to be in touch with me....that we'd BOTH know it and it wouldn't work for either one of us. I've decided there really is such a thing as a "fair weather friend"...who only wants to know you if things are fine. Let something bad happen, and you can see the dust before their rapidly retreating feet kick it up! The other one of these two friends made it a point to call me recently to recount a trip the two of them took together....to be sure I knew "how much fun" they had together. Then, to ice the cake, she told me the two of them took another mutual friend out to lunch after she lost her mother..."because she really needed to get out of the house". I guess cancer patients don't need friends, or lunch out or getting out of the house, you know? Yeah....I guess I'm a little bit bitter over the fact that this is not how I'd treat my friends if they were sick. In fact, Miss Concerted Effort is a 5-6 yr survivor of breast calcifications. I was one of the few people she told....and I stayed in frequent contact with her as she went thru radiation. What goes around doesn't always come around. But you cannot "force" a true friendship. It's either there or it's not. I feel for Claire. And for your dilemma. But the odds are that no matter what you might say to these "friends"...it wouldn't really change things and any effort they did make might feel false or forced and be short-lived.

Well I should say so!! I was getting weary of having to warn Ginny every time NOT to cut her nose checking the bouquet on the cork....ya know? I'll have a transfusion...with just a drizzle of vanilla vodka in it. My liver isn't sure yet whether it can handle a full half shot! Good news? Well...my onc cut me from 4 chemo days to 3 days...last cycle. Today...instead of my platelets bottoming out...they were a whopping 221K...so NO TRANSFUSIONS THIS WEEK UNLESS THEY ARE THE GRAPE JUICE VARIETY! Somebody pass the shrimp dip, please. Good to see you back in operation, Cin darlin'!

Frank...you keep pushing those docs as long as you feel willing to try more tx. That's YOUR call...not the doctor's. Giving up ain't your style...and surely not when there is BUD LITE OUT THERE LEFT TO DRINK....am I right? Seriously...with the right attitude and a little luck, anything is possible. I'm glad you'll be getting more tx and feel up to getting it. And when Debi comes to slap the onc doc, isn't there supposed to be a chicken involved in the routine too? Somehow? In some way? Okay, I'm off to the pub now...following the trail of beer nuts you left me, Frank. Thanks.!

Rich....three years is a great milestone...and I will join you in the pub shortly to help celebrate this Victory of Survivorship!! Lets see those threes keep piling up until you've got 30 of them...and then we'll go from there, ok?

Here's to 6 more, Fay....and then another 6 after that, and oh lets' say 12 after that, and then another 12 plus another 6.... For a lady that collects chickens....there ain't nothin' chicken about you, dear Fay. You inspire!

I'm with Kasey....maybe this is the start of a turnaround for you, Beth....with things going positively and successfully and WITHOUT ANY BLINKIN' SIDE EFFECTS FOR A CHANGE....eh? Glad to see you posting, too. Hope you keep feeling better and better!!

Sending thoughts for a turnabout for you, David. Hope they can radiate away any and all mets and get you back to feeling good again. I'll be vibing you for an empty head and a clean spine!

You're one of the greats, Di....and I hope this is just the first of MANY anniversaries for you. Next year, we'll have a joint bash at Cindy's Pub...okay? I just passed my one year since dx on May 10th. Close enough for a joint par-tay...wouldn't you say? So glad you're feeling better and on your way with the Topo. Keep us posted on how you're doing. Love you....