Addie

Well, Brat...maybe I should tell you now that Brat was my dad's pet name for me (I was the baby of the family...did you have that figured out? )....so it seems only right that you should have Addietude...since I was the original Brat! Thanks, Pat! As we all know, some days are tougher than others...but if the laughs don't come easy..they can still come hard if you look for them! I just make it a real point to look for them. But let me ask you this...where will Addie go when SHE needs an Addietude Adjustment?

MJB~~ You've expressed what I think my hubby feels, but could never articulate in the same way. I'm the one with cancer...and I know he suffers the fact that, "this wasn't how we planned it to turn out!" He retired in '99 and we were/are building a house in Arizona where we planned to move. The house should be done in another week or two...and it's going on the market. We're staying in the snow belt so I can continue with my doctors here. Not exactly as we planned it. He finally said to me that he doesn't know how/what he'll do if he loses me and that if it happens, then nothing really matters to him! That's a tough thought for ME to take to my grave, if it comes to that...you know? I want to know he'll be okay!! That he'll grieve, sure...but that eventually his life will go on and he'll be okay. It's nothing less that he'd want for me! We've found ways to talk more about all of it...and it's helped. I'm actually doing well at the moment...so it's made it easier for us to find moments to laugh together (I'm big on laughter...he's the more serious one ). We're planning a golf trip for this fall...and looking forward to the future plans of our two (as yet unmarried) sons. I'm knitting grandbaby clothes just to have on hand...but NO pressure. But something it's easy to lose sight of is that NONE of us is gonna escape this life alive!! And awful as cancer is....those of us here have been given a warning...a wake-up call...to not waste a moment. The guy or gal that gets in a car, leaves home and mixes it up with an 18 wheeler on the highway...never gets the warning. I keep looking for the positives...the upside to this disease...and they DO exist. I have my lesser moments...don't get me wrong...but I fight those like I fight the cancer...because to live in fear or depression or misery just doesn't sound like a lot of fun to me! Seize the moments with your hubby and appreciate the friends who stand by you. I've got a few who bailed too...or who seem to feel I'm contagious or something. Who needs 'em? They're the ones who might be left with some regrets when I DO go...but I won't have any regrets, because I didn't treat them this way when THEY were sick!! I think you're chock FULL of great character. It's all there in this post. Keep smiling with your hubby as much as you can...and I wish you many more years of togetherness. What we end up getting may not be exactly according to plan...but Life is What you Make of it...right? We play the hand we're dealt and if we're lucky, we stay in the game a bit longer than we might have thought! Sending all good wishes your way....

When I read this post....first one I thought of was Dianne....so I'm glad to see she's already chimed in. Based on her experience....you'll be feeling LOTS better, Beth, once this procedure is over!! I'm so glad they found out what is going on. We sort expect you to have a little gall to go along with all that pi$$ and vinegar, honey...but not quite like THIS...ya know? As for the portacath...my onc suggested one after my relapse even though my veins are a plumber's delight and I had no trouble during the first 6 cycles of chemo. I have to say...I'm really happy to have the port...cuz for one thing, I can knit, write, eat lunch...make raunchy hand signals (just kidding)...all while being infused with NO problem! When I start chemo (and I get it for three days now) they leave it accessed for the whole time...so I don't have to get stuck every day. The only thing is, it has to be kept dry...so I bathe on those days instead of showering. Not a big whoop. They tape over it so I don't accidentally yank it out at night either! The port will be a big help. One less thing to worry about if you don't have black arms, huh? I'm just so glad they figured out what was causing you to feel so crummy...and hope they get you fixed in a jiffy! I'll keep your barstool warm for you at Cin's Pub....ok? Don't count on there being any vanilla vodka left though! Keep us posted, Toots!~

Once we get done paying for medical bills that insurance doesn't cover....ANY monies we have available to donate go to local charities! And I've pretty much otherwise cut out ANY charity that uses paid fundraisers anyway....as only a tiny fraction of what is donated actually goes to the cause. Gilda's Club is, in my opinion, a wonderful support center for cancer patients and their families...and I'm a founding contributor to the NYC flagship Gilda's Club. I try to donate every year, if possible...but have missed a couple of years. All cancer patients are welcome there, but to be honest I don't know if they actually have a support group specifically for l.c. Think I ought to find out...huh? Our local cancer support center...which I've supported mainly with my $175.00 entry fee into their golf tournament....has NO l.c. group and I'm going to find out why!! I'm not sure I need a group for myself...as I have such wonderful support from a few local friends, my cyberteam and from this fabulous site. But it still irks me that there is no l.c. group for those who might not be as fortunate as I am to have a good support system. Call me an aging cynic...but I think a good many of our more notable charities do as good a job lining the pockets of their executives and paying their fund raisers....as they do actually HELPING those in need that they front for! Our local Search and Rescue is volunteer. So are the local firemen. Our town library raises about 40% of it's annual budget thru fund-raisers and a massive book sale. There are lots of local charities to support...without dumping more money on the ACS who, too often, cannot even hire people with a modicum of compassion OR good sense!

You're a piece of work, Frank...and my money is on YOU....not some warbling Fat Lady! Keep that attitude and prove the doctors wrong on their time predictions. It's done all the time around here! Live and the live some more...and just keep on doing that. Go see the doctors whenever you have to...but FORGET STATS. You are not a STAT Frank...you're a funny guy with a great wife who can outrun a singing Fat Lady for a lot longer than one might think, even with l.c.! And besides....there is all that Bud Lite to get through and all those rounds of golf to play...eh? (Not necessarily in that order!)

Oh Kel...your loving words just break my heart. I so hoped your mom would be back out there chasing that little white ball around 18 holes...and then maybe stopping by the 19th for a tiddly. I hope you'll always be able to remember her out on the course, having fun and seeking the elusive birdies! She is so blessed to have you, honey. The love and regard you have for your mom must fill her heart on a daily basis. Just keep letting her know how much you love her..and look for things to make her smile. This will provide you with more of the happy or "normal" moments to remember down the road...to help offset the confused or fragile looks you sometimes see now. The radiation continues to work for a while..so I will hope for continued reduction in her pain level, and therefore less confusion and more alertness. Again...you're a wonderful, loving daughter...and your mom has fought a long, brave fight. I'm not giving up on her just yet..and know you aren't either...but this is a hard time. Many, many supportive thoughts and wishes are with you as well as hope for continued improvement for your mom.

A day of making treasured memories. I'm so happy for all your family....but particularly for Mike and your daughter!! Your post just made me smile!

Somehow I missed all this till now...but am so glad your mom is home and has come thru most of this with flying colors. Would be nice if they had come up with a reason for some of it....eh? But still important that she's recovered enough to get sprung LONG before 5-6 weeks went by! Your mom is one tough lady, Andrea. I think I said that once before but it bears repeating. Good thoughts headed her way for continued recovery!

Well, a pox on those fevers!! Sheesh. And as for the stent...didn't you say that might not be permanent? (help me out here...memory fails me! ) As for tomorrow...I hope it all goes swimmingly. No reason to suspect oral Topo is any harder to assimilate than I.V.....and I also learned today, that while a lot of chemos will generally only be given for 6 cycles and then they let the body rest a bit....Topotecan is one of those than can be given for longer. At least according to one of my onc's nurses! Maybe it all depends on the dosage AND an individual's tolerance...because while I thought platin drugs were harsh enough NOT to be given for more than 6 cycles...I found out today from a friend who gets WEEKLY tx for recurrent breast cancer (and WILL get weekly txs for the rest of her life) - that one of the drugs she gets is carboplatin!! She DID have to have her dosage reduced by half though...as her the dose she was getting was making her feel lousy up to about 75% of the time. NO quality of life. Her dosage was cut...and she just got back from a short cruise to the Bahamas for some R&R~! She looks and feels 100% better than she was before they trimmed her dosage. Anyway....I digress...sorta but knowing you, Di, you'll do just fine. The only thing other than the usual fatigue, is that Topo can be pretty hard on the bloodcounts...so just make sure that is well monitored. I gotta say, tough, that my numbers continue to go up since the transfusions. My platelets were down to 12K about 10 days ago. Today, they were something like 561K. Let us know how you're doing...but I already know it's gonna be a good update. You'll do fine!

I wasn't going to post this...but I keep coming back to this thread and the info from neversmokers.com - and I'm bothered. I gotta say it.....How about expediting the research into lung cancer WHETHER OR NOT someone smoked!?? Don't we ALL deserve a cure for this stinking disease? Don't misunderstand me....I don't begrudge ANY research into any cancer....and I understand that there are differences in lung cancer and in who gets what kind. But lung cancer - overall - doesn't get the attention and research money it deserves...and separating the smokers from the never-smoked or those who quit years ago...sort of seems to divide us in the fight to get more attention to lung cancer in general, doesn't it? Furthermore....this sort of separation brings the stigma of smoking back to the forefront....and those of us who smoked are left not only to fight for our survival as we all do....but to defend against the stigma too. Those with squamous cell don't see themselves as any more "worthy" of research than those with large cell, do they? I dunno...I'm just bothered by separating out any faction and calling for research for just that faction of people who suffer this disease. I mean, I have small cell. I'm among the minority in that fact...as most lung cancers are NON small cell. So I'd be willing to bet that whatever paltry amount of research is going on for lung cancer...it's concentrated on those lung cancers that affect the majority...namely, non-small cell. The way I view it, is that ANY research into lung cancers is good...because even IF they go looking for something to impact non-small cell..they might happen to discover something that works for small cell (or vice versa!). We're all in this thing together. There is something about drawing a big fat line between the smokers and the non- or never-smokers that bothers me. Wish I could articulate it better...and know I risk some flak for posting this....but it's how I feel.

Hey Beth....that's a helluva way to get out of doing the laundry and cooking!! You've had the full gamut of effects by now, surely. We can only hope that from here on out you suffer NO side effects but perhaps a little fatigue. I think we all tend to get a bit fatigued from tx. Wish they could find something to work for your nausea. Have you asked about Aloxi? It supposedly has longer lasting anti-nausea properties. I get Aloxi on my last day of chemo, along with the Decadron. Seems to give me a little boost of energy too! Ask about it, sweetie...ok? Sending you "I can eat anything and I no longer feel urpy" vibes.

Many good thoughts go out to our Betts. And I agree, she is no doubt happy dancin' in her head, even if her legs won't allow it anymore. I hope she knows how much she is valued and loved here...and that we all are thinking of her. Thanks Ginny...for letting us know how she's doing.

Peggy....you are amazing! I'm so glad to know it was a cyst under DH's arm. And I agree, the medical leave from work is a good idea. The two of you will get a little quality time from this, I hope...and maybe even the dogs too, eh? I hope your son will soon be released from the hospital too. Sheesh...what a long haul he's had...but it sounds like he's on the mend! Keep up that spirit of your, Peggy! You inspire us all with your positivity! (Is that really a word? Maybe we should call it pegitivity? )

Well, I tend to get really smartmouth in situations like this. I might not always SAY it (usually do not say it)....but I think VERY sarcastic thoughts! I'd have WANTED to say...."No. I didn't smoke, but I used to have lots and lots of indiscriminate and unprotected sex!! Isn't it interesting that I didn't end up with a sexually transmitted disease instead of lung cancer???" Don't let the turkeys bring you down, Nina!! You know...years ago there was a women's golf tournament here that supported the American Cancer Society. We later found out that for our "donation" of $150., we got a round of golf and some rubber chicken at dinner and the rest of our entry fee went to buy new typewriters for the ACS staff!! NOT A RED CENT WENT TO RESEARCH or to help cancer patients! A good many foursomes dropped out after that...and the next year the tournament was cancelled! A few years later a local cancer support center opened up and THEY now sponsor a golf tournament, the proceeds from which ALL go to this local support center. The tournament is wildly successful and fills up every year! Not everyone who works for a charitable organization is a compassionate person...and not every charity operates on fully noble principles. I too wish there was ONE pat statement we could all make to those who are ignorant enough to bring up smoking when someone says they have lung cancer. I mean, when someone has a heart attack....is the first question they get, "Oh, I guess you ate a lot of BigMacs??" You are at the Relay for YOUR purposes, Nina...so let that be enough. Ignore the "turkeys" and do your walk for everyone HERE and everyone, everywhere with lung cancer. Or...next time someone asks, "What kind of cancer?"...just say, "The kind that required chemo!" and walk away.

Lordy, I'm so glad the new pulm. doc finally figured this out for your poor mom!! I have no experience with the stents...but I just hope it's the answer for your mom and that she'll be breathing easier REAL soon!! Bless her heart...she's a real trouper!! Keep us posted...ok?

Holding good thoughts for your mom...and hoping you get good news about the lung fluid. Keep us posted...and don't forget to BREATHE....ok? I think your mom is a tough cookie....and I have a feeling all will be okay.

Can't be fun with that swollen leg pushing against the staples, Cin ....so I sure hope the doc can figure out how to reduce the swelling. Makes me "ouch" just to think of it. I'll be holding good thoughts for your dad too...so please come back and let us how how you both are doing...ok? Hang in there....

Ya know, I thought the last time I had spaghetti at your house, Ry....that it tasted a little watery! My recipe calls for tomato sauce and a half can of water...but I substitute red wine for the water. As it cooks down a little....I add more wine! Adds great flavor to the sauce, and the alcohol cooks out anyway! WATER??? Why bother if you've got wine? Andrea....will you have a section in the book for hors d'oeuvres? I do have some good recipes...but let us know if you need....say salads more than main courses, or desserts or whatever. Or maybe it doesn't matter if you have more of one type of recipe than others...huh? Sheesh...I gotta dig thru that recipe binder tomorrow. Will do so when I get home from doing bloodwork again.

Di....Topo works~~as we've already discussed. And it's gonna work for you too. So glad this was caught pretty early. I really think mine was too...yet I had quite a bit in the pancreas and 4 liver tumors by the time I started on Topo. It will be interesting to hear if there are any differences in the oral vs IV...and how you do on it. I'll be trackin' you, girl! And yeah...I think I do understand how you feel. Took me a couple of days to get there..but it coulda been "woise" as the Stooges used to say!

Welcome home!! Please stay well. It's hard on these old nerves when others don't stay well. Heaving a big ol' WHEW that you're okay!

You're in my thoughts, Cathy....and I'm so glad your kids are coming to visit. Special times when the kids are around....huh? I'm sorry for the days when things seem tough...and for the hair loss again. (I've been hairless a year now...and know the feeling ) I'll be wishing for some brighter days ahead for you, lots of fun and loving feelings during the kids' visit and nothing but the best for you, Cathy. Keep us posted on how you're doing...ok?

Happy Birthday, you "youngster"!! Somehow, each year is a bit sweeter when cancer is/has been part of one's life...huh? But...at just 52, well....you've got a ways to go before you're old, girl, whether or not you remember Jagger the first time around! Keep on piling up those birthdays and one of these days you'll catch up to me....HAH! Congrats and enjoy your day!!

Many people disappear, after saying, "If there is anything you need...lemme know". But I'll bet you still have a sense of who might show and who might not....so sure, call 'em up and ask them to your "packing up to move party". Pizza and beer is a great idea....to be served WHEN THE PLACE IS PACKED UP....right? Not before! Wish some of us were closer too...we'd come help. I do think a lot of people sincerely would like to help out in some way and MEAN IT when they say it...but for some reason, they don't stay in touch very well in the meantime. Hard to know why. Hope you can get a good crew together. And do tell them to go easy when they pack up the bar stuff...eh? Some of us here count on there always being a ready supply of Bud Lite, Margarita mix and limes!

...SPLASH OF GINGER ALE, CINDI!! The missing ingredient. There's not a lot of carbonation in grape juice, ya know? Transfusions in the East....Vodka Coolers in the West. If you drink more than THREE transfusions....then you gotta call the CONfusions! And a virgin Margarita means no tequila in it. By the way...many years ago, a friend gave me a teeshirt that said, in big block letters: I AM A VIRGIN Below that, in tiny letters it said: !This is a very old teeshirt I still have the shirt...should I put it on with my lampshade? Went down to the golf club today for lunch and to celebrate. Had so much fun yakking with everyone I came home and needed a nap! Who has a roll of quarters...it's time to get the jukebox going, isn't it? (Hey Ginny...good work on the knitting. It's relaxing, eh? My latest is a frog hat and sweater...wanna see? I even foung a frog toy to go with the sweater and cap!) I'm off to the jukebox....thanks for the party, Cin!

I can ask this question...but so far none of us has the answer. Guess I could "ask the experts"...but in the grand scheme of things...it's a rather paltry issue and in any event....hey, just enjoy the nice nails, huh? I'm hypothyroid too...and still have the dry skin to prove that...as well has having faint ridges on all my nails...cuticle to tip. But my nail growth seems a lot faster these days...and my nails aren't so "soft" as they used to be...they are tougher, stronger. I should probably paint them so they look really nice...but I can't be bothered, you know? Anyway...it appears I'm not alone in this...and it is a rather strange phenomena.....huh?