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My dear dear friend, Cindi, on this board did so much to convince me that I had been shamed by my original Drs and that I needed to put that aside and move forward.

If you remember that first Dr told me I was so young to ruin my life and my family's life (among other things). Watching my husband suffer more last night brought home those haunting words again.

Yesterday marked three weeks (or is it 4?) since I finally decided to get some medical help. In that time, I still have not gotten an RX for a pain or anxiety. The Dr I saw Tues said that he would expidite a report to my Dr, after I broke down in tears when he said that he could not write me a script becase he was not my primary and when he said he could not order me bloodwork or do an oxygen sat test on me.

He said expect to hear from my Dr by noon yesterday. I finally called and left a message at three.

Having had one child with NO pain or any medication and having had abcessed teeth, I can tell you the level of my pain, which is not localized but generalized over at least half of my body is worse than an abcessed tooth.

I was up most of the night. It didn't even dawn on me until about 3 this morning that he COULD have written me a script because he ASSUMED i had RX coverage. I don't. I pay for those myself, so what difference did it make who wrote it???

Added to that is that some articles on the HPOA I ha ve say that it is irrectractable pain (not the arthritis pain that goes with it but the burning pain caused by what, I am not sure.) My fear that nothing short of sedation will give me relief.

I am duly shamed. I dont think I have enough wits about me to fight much. NO one can help my agony., but I wish someone would help this pain.


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I'm not ashamed of you. I find no shame in calling you my friend. I see no reason for you to feel shame for smoking a lifetime (doesn't it seem that way?) ago...

Sometimes the words of one individual who we see for less than a blip on the radar screen of our life can impact us negatively for eternity. I have experienced shame as result of someone else's judgment, someone who didn't even know "ME", the real person on the inside. Now why did THEIR opinion really matter? No clue...

My first visit with my doctor in the hospital after having my son has been burned in my head, as he told me to get on the pill "so this doesn't happen again" as if having a baby at 23 with my husband was a bad thing! I changed doctors...who was he to pass that kind of sentence, as if my boy was a bad mistake, etc.?

Try to get over that shame, Elaine. You shouldn't own it over this, this is something that should be batted back to that person's court, not left to settle and fester in yours...

Call and see if you can get that prescription today from the non-primary doctor. Get rid of some of his assumptions so you can function!

Love ya,


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At five till noon, I again called and left a message. This time asking for an email address where I can put my requests in writing so that there is a record to show a history of not returning phone calls and not meeting medical needs.

I do not know what else I can do. It's been over four weeks and I can't get a precription, a blood test, a cat scan or even an oxygen sat test.


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My heart breaks for you. Feeling bad physically is not the time to have to fight for pain meds. Those doctors should be ashamed and maybe sued. Becky is right, pay no attention to their opinions of you, they have no right to an opinion on your self worth. You did nothing wrong. You have problems up to your eyeballs right now and pain should not have to be one of them. You need tests to know where to start.

How long before the insurance from your husbands old company expire? Are you insured right now? If not, call about COBRA. It is available to people who have been covered by a group plan and have lost their employment.

Honey, you are in my prayers each day. I hope all of this works out very soon. It almost sounds like you live in neverland....where things are never like they are suppose to be. I pray that changes and that you find some doctor that is compassionate.


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Elaine You get me that # of the clinic, the admin., the doctor....whoever. I am not the best advocate for myself, but pretty good, BUT. I am a very good advocate when a friend is in need.. WE will get to the bottom of this, I don't take no for an answer and I don't **Word not allowed** foot around, unless I have to. With all that you have going on, you need someone to take over for you until you can get your wits about you. I am willing to step in and help you out. I am sure that there are others on this board who will be your voice until you can find it again after getting the wind knocked out of you. PM< me with anything that I can help.

I feel like Popeye today!

Cindi o'h

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They just called. They are prescribing neurontin--the same medicine I told them DID NOT work. When I again tried to tell the nurse this, she cut me off and said this is the medicine that Dr Skinny Butt and the nuerologist feel is best.

Earlier I called the HMO to make a formal complaint and did get "permission" of sorts to go directly to the hospital--but get this: ONLY after I call Dr, SKINNY BUTTE to tell her I want to be seen today! If she refused to see me I could go. I can not change DRs until Dec 1--and that will be my last pick!

When I told the the nurse what the HMO case manager said, she said and I quote--though I wish I could quote her tone of voice--"By all means, you just do that then." She said it as if she were daring me!

I can tell you that my OWN VOICE sounded nothing but belegured(sp) with probably a bit of exasperation. Nothing that would have deserved her comment--other than me having told her that I called the case manager.

I feel I have been set down in hades. I wish I were Dorothy-- I would click my heels and I would not be in KANSAS any longer. The burning pain makes this metaphor so much more real.

Going to get the blood work--apparently I can only have one test every other week at the rate they are moving.


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By law you have a right to have your pain managed. You must go to an ER if you are in that much pain Elaine. You are taxing your body which is not good for your immune system. Take the power back from this doctor - you are giving her control which is not helping the situation. If she said by all means go to the ER - Then go to the ER. Do not relinquish control. Do not go back to the position of child. Take control back.... NOW. You are in a business relationship - remember that.

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First let me thank Lisa for pointing out that I am NOT acting like an adult in a business to business relationship with my so-called Dr and her staff.

I see that now.

What I am acting like is a person in need of care and wanting care from caregivers. I think that might be understandable in light of my current emotional and physical pain. I need to get a handle on that, I now recognize.

My husband is in no condition to offer much care himself as he is struggling right now--not that I have ever seen him be much of a caregiver role. Until recently it has been pretty easy to for him and MYSELF to see myself as somewhat able, which has created much denial.

I am struggling now to know what to do. Go check myself into an ER with my husband in his emotional state or do my best to make it through.

Just to add to the story of Dr. Skinny. Her nurse called around 2 to tell me the referral to the lab had been sent. I had to wait for my husband to get back from his errands and then I got the call about the pain RX, so I thought we might as well just wait and go and be able to pick the prescription up at the same time. The lab closes at 6, so no hurry, I thought.

We get there at a few minutes past five only to find out that they can not do the tests--one of them is a two hour glucose test. No time for that!

Plus there are no instructions as to whether this test is to be done fasting or not. They call Dr Skinny's office and page someone from that office but they are gone. So until Monday morning I won't know if I am to eat before the test or not.

At 2 when the nurse called, I was given NO instructions other than my referral was ready. The lab people were appalled and my husband swears he saw one of them act like this is sooooo like something Dr. Skinny or maybe her nurse would do.

At least the RX was there, but no anti anxiety rx. I am going to pray that this drug that didn't work the last time I had it will at least take the edge off.

I did notice that activity takes the edge off. Something about the nerves being at rest and also something about me being emotional--frightened or upset seems to get the pain really going. I need to find some balance, since the weakness is making movement more and more difficult and the arthralgias dont help make walking all that fun either.

I am going to do my best to get my head on straighter.

I thank you all for being ears and hearts in this heartless matter.


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Dearest Elaine,

I am not being in the least bit critical. I do think, however, that the medical system loves to put us in a powerless position and it makes it easy for us to forget that we can take control back. If the neurontin does not help, then you have a right to go and get some relief.

Are you taking anything over the counter? Does anything help? Is your doctor on call? If you are in pain late at night - a few well placed late night phone calls would let her know that your pain is not being relieved. You can do this Elaine.

You are in my prayers. You can take control and show this doctor that it is not ok to bully patients who are in pain.

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This is just unbelievable. I would most definetly go to the ER, pain is an emergency.This is Friday you have to get thru the weekend still. Is there someone who can drive you? It is a law here in Texas that you cannot be denied medical treatment because you have no money or insurance. I have a friend dx with non hodgkins lymphoma in feb. He had no insurance, no job, no money nothing, he has had quality care and no cost to him. The county indegent program helped him, I feel sure there must be similiar where you live. It should not matter what reason you did not chose medical care in the beginning, all that should matter is now. Is there no one family or friend near you who can advocate on your behalf? Im with who ever on here said it, ill do anything to help you that i can. I can make calls on my cell phone free nationwide, and would be glad too, anything you need. I will pm you my phone number and feel free to use it anytime day or night.

you are in my prayers and thoughts

god bless you


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My Dear Friend, I am sooo mad!!!!! I agree with Cindi and Fay, let some of us advocate for you if that would work. I am a great communicator and can write to anyone you think would help us.

And.. I think if that pain does not seem at least a bit better by morning you need to go to ER.

Praying for you and Gary



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Dear Elaine,

I am on neurontin for neurophy in my feet and take 600 MG twice daily and it just takes the edge off. I need to take more but it is already costing me $150.00 a month for that one script. My feet still burn terribly. I can not imagine that was what you were given for this pain and only that!!

I have read your posts for a long time and I know that you are not the type of person to sit back and be walked on. You are also a very intellegent woman. Put those things to good use here!! I have to say I am outraged that the medical community or some of them let people suffer this way!!


Go to the ER and demand that they give you something right then and there for pain and also give you a perscription for something that works. Everyones body is different and we all respond differently to drugs. Just because they THINK it's what you need is BS ......... You have tried it before and it doesnt work for you.

Take a stand Elaine and get what you need and begin NOW. I am praying for you.

God bless You,


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Oh, Elaine, my heart is breaking for you!

Being in that kind of pain is not acceptable when there are remedies available...if that Neurontin doesn't alleviate it, go to the ER!! With your medical history and recent history of exasperating run-ins with your primary you should be able to at least get the pain looked at and a cause hopefully found.....I think in your case, an admission to the hosp might not be a bad idea; get all your tests and work-ups done at once.

No one deserves to be in pain....no one!!

Please keep us posted


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She gave me 6oo mg to be taken ONCE a day, before bedtime. . I took it last night, and it did work but this morning I can already feel it wearing off. So I am getting a little bit anxious about it.

I am thinking about taking another one becuase I so don't want to have to go through another minute of that pain.

Jane, or anyone, did you start out taking 1200 mg a day or did you have to slowly increase to that amount? I am wondering if it is dangerous just to increase the dose myself. Then I am also afraid that she won't give me a script for thirty days and then I will be without relief for 15 days.

This is crazy!

I do think I should just go to the emergency room. I told my hus band last night that that is the only way I am going to get these tests done in a timely matter. When I saw the list of bloodwork she ordered I was appalled at the things she DIDN"T order and at some she DID order.

He bought a new gun and since I felt better this morning, I told him to go ahead and take his trip to hopefully get his mind off of all that has b een happening. He had to go turn his things in at work this morning and that was emotional for him--.

I am going to try to ride this thing out until monday. But I wonder if I can take another pill now and not be putting myself in danger.

So if anyone knows, pls let me know.


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